Where Sure Decisions are Unmade n Phantom Choices Solidify

I dun usualli talk of my experiences in the army in detail but some events are too momentous to leave out...like the time i literalli felt my entire world view deconstructin itself in my heart n mind post Support Weapon Live Firin in SISPEC BSLC..gradualli reformin into something else dat is the current incarnation of Jonathan Chua..or der time in my battalion where we had our Advanced Trainfire Programme (ATP) live firin n i just could not hit e targets to pass with der minimum of 21 shots on target..

dun bang ur head against e wall i learnt dat day...its futile n fruitless...i remeber askin myself on e 2nd day of firin if i wanted to do engineerin, which i alwaez struggled with, (it was not engineerin but Maths n Physics act) for e rest of my life..no was my honest confession...n i began searchin for alternatives to Engineerin at NTU dat day...

in e past year since, i realised i should hav done Design at Poly when i was 16...i loved design back then though Goh Boon Pin freaked mi out(till dis day, i sometimes still wake up in cold sweat in e middle of e nite wonderin bout wat he would say bout der slow progress on my imaginary portfolio work)..still i was loathe to admit it till this year...

as mentioned in my last post, certain situations n pple catalysed my choice...disappointment in love n certain frenships, the slow wastin decadence in e last few months of NS, the belief dat e Youth ministry can manage well with or without mi in constant involvement n e renewed belief in God's sovereignty even in e unknown led mi to make der decision to pursue Architecture at the Royal Melbourne Institute of Tech in Australia from Feb next year onwards..its a 5 year course n a welcome change i need la...

as i said, there's not much dat holds mi back now la...my best frens all settled in uni n i am assured they will not forget mi unlike some gals i noe, e foundation of e Charis Youth Ministry in place n in good hands...there's nothin n no one worth dat much to mi dat opposes my decision (my parents are in favour)...n for whom i might possibli change my mind so there u hav it, a seachange in myoutlook n educatinal interest...

come next feb, i'll be bloggin in der big oz..so dun worry..i promise there'll be consistency n continuity here (not dat i believe anyone realli reads though haha)