Technical Issues and updates

this is so boring..blogging on my mum's mac doesnt seem to allow change of fonts or colour from paragraph to paragraph..which takes a lot of character out of my posts..the colour thing and font thing is meant to actually allow greater readability since reading a long document in black and white in times new roman is so mundane and uninteresting..and u noe mi...i want to be both interesting and good at wat i do..i wonder if i shd hav a chat with a fren of mine who's a "self-confessed mac geek" about this issue with mac blogging..

you noe, i really would like to get to noe better some of these frens who are like between 24, which is my age, and 29..cos i think there is just so much in christian ministry that needs to be done for pple in our age bracket..and being the collectivizer that i am, i've always sought to meet with christians and pple at watever time in my life i'm at and grow as christians or share the gospel together..as good ol Proverbs would have it, "2 are better than 1" and Jesus does say that a church is "2 or 3 gathering together in His name"..so, we need churching at different periods of life with pple from similar periods..

and dats y i think that i would like to meet with some of the Foci members from Singapore back home for fellowship and ministry of the Word together..Collectivised Christian Action i call it...hmmmm...just as a side thought, when Jesus comes again, will the basic unit of government and administration at the local level be the church? so in socialism, the basic unit is the commune or soviet..wat about Christianity? The All Christian Communion of Churches...thats a thought..

Recently, i had a nap between doing work for an assignment which was really tough..and i had one of those half-awake, half asleep dreams dat are just so vivid cos u dunno if u're awake or asleep..and in it, i was reliving the last day of junior collecge at Serangoon JC..and talking to PW and Sabrina...u guys remember them don't ya..and i told them the things i'd always wanted to say to them..the youthful angst came rite back and hit mi in the face all over again..that great Anger that still drives my engine to this day over the great injustices that guys who are kind and generous and nice endure from pple who just look down on them and despise them deep down..when u receive the message from certain frens that you're just not good enough for them or not cool enough to be in their little clique thru their body language and their attitude..and i was an angry young man all over again..ready to throw my lot in with whoever allowed me to best strike back at these pple and show them how they're so wrong..and that anger of course, saw me thru NS and caused me to push higher and harder and faster..and to make the decision to come to Australia..so yeah..maybe dats wat my dream was about..a re-examination of my motives and whether its all ultimately worth it..and whether as a Christian, i should think and feel this Anger..and if so, how might it be directed so as not to sin? against sin and ungodliness and hypocrisy? against injustice and the oppression of the fatherless and widows as Malachi says?

Maybe its the ungodly attitudes that i saw in these frens that i hated so much and was the cause for my anger..maybe i should be angry at sin and ungodliness in Christians and in the world rather than my frens..maybe i shuld see sin and ungodliness as The Embodiment and Manifestation of those things i endured as a youth which drove me to anger..and thrust against them harder and more fiercely than against my frens..thats a thought..

Family

after getting a lift from a friend's mum yesterday to town to get some lovely and very affordable (bluidy sarcastic bloke i am) balsa wood for a model i'm making, we had to stop by Mater hopsital on the way back to pick up a frenli medical student who also needed a lift to the gym..and outside the gym i saw this kid who had finished his swimming classes and was clad only in his swimming trunks..waiting for his parents to come pick him up obviously...but in that late afternoon, the wind started to blow for a rough spell and it really was pretty chilly..

and i was reminded of my own little kindergarden days and early childhood years where i also would be found waiting outside class or school or kindergarden and good ol dad would be late by 45 minutes to an hour on average at least to pick mi up...or dear mum who bore me in her womb for 9 months and with whom i have an extremely close bond that just won't be broken (probably due to the fact that she shared her food and water with me through a tube the size of a garden hose for those nine months), dear mum who's blood of my blood and flesh of my flesh..she would often be held up by work for at least 15 minutes..i'm not complaining ..no i most definitely can't..but i did have to manage myself often during all those in-between periods growing up..

but just a few nites ago i had an extremely good conversation with both of them over the phone..you see, Mum had very wisely told me to bring her unused Macbook back with me to Australia at the start of this year "in case anything happens"..n it so happened that the night before, my laptop decided to crash and dump the entire operating system..well the data was backed up thankfully..Praise and glory to God for that..but without Mum's Macbook i would have nothing to use and would be camping in the library 24-7 for the next 3 weeks..and since the library doesnt have the Archicad software i use for rendering and can't download it due to "university concerns over the illegal download of music and multiomedia"..yeah right...capitalist rhetoric straight out of an imperialist Telstra executive's mouth...Guillotine the bourgeois apparatchiks man!

anyway, at that point i remember how Mum was always the forward thinking and strategising one who had a great deal of foresight and vision plus untold reserves of pragmatism and patience..she's the steel spine of my family that makes the boys in the family (dad and me) be civilised and have some sort of routine..else we would all degenrate into a Lord of the Flies kinda existence..must be all that Chong blood from Grandma..man, those women sure were legendary...ever heard of 5 hour long tongue lashings? there we go..

and as my good fren and bro Kumu would say, the only woman who will ever stand by you unconditionally is your own mum..the only woman who truly loves you is mum..i learnt a lot about dogged persistence and the ability to take pressure without snapping from her..i sometimes wish that life had been a little easier on her and i would want her to truly retire and not have to keep thinking about the family finances and the like..but thats life..we make the best of what the Sovereign Lord has given, good or bad..no choice in that..her lesson to me also..

and there's Dad of course..if Mum's the steel spine, he's the element of fire.. i mean, there are times when he can be embarrassing due to his extremely outgoing nature (even though he always denies this, "i only have a few friends...dun bluff la pa, haha) and he is fiercely independent (if u wanna noe wat the meaning of "doing your own thing" really is, u have to meet my Dad) and he is fiercly hot-headed also..one of the traits i've inherited from him for better or worse..attack first, talk later..but during the conversation i found out that he had actually been talking to the owners of the shop downstairs of the premises our church back home is using..before our conversation..and he told how the owners were illiterate and din understand english and how they had received a letter from "govenment authorities" aka apparatchiks telling them that their grease trap inspection had failed and they needed to do something about it in 3 weeks or else..and how, my father, being the big kaypo, had decided to translate and explain the letter to them..

i told him, come on, these pple who share the rental of the building with us have never been very kind to us..in fact, they've been downright nasty..and they refuse to separate their utilities meters from us so we never really quite know how much it is we're using since we could be paying for their useage even if we split the bill according to percentages..and how they made so much noise when we wanted to rent the vacant space above them (and its not their building also).. and how much they disturb our peace..the fair thing to do would be to just ignore them and have nothing to do with them and dats wat i would do normally..but my Dad, being a pastor..and being generous and big-hearted, promptly helps them in their need..he even told me that we're all fellow tenants and neighbours and how Jesus said we should love our neighbours as ourselves..he's right of course..which doesnt make it any easier..i want to play power politics by nature rather than show mercy, generousity and kindness..

thats why i love that man whom i call my Dad..i've always defined myself by what he is Not..especially in my growing up years..because i saw his kindness as weakness and because i saw his temper as a contradiction of his kindness and generosity..but now i realise more and more the strength of character he often shows and how we're all equally hypocritical and contradictory at some point..n how all families are dysfunctional at some point..oh well, we're family and family is special..somehow, somewhere..it is..

Quotes

Over the past couple of weeks and days, i've been exposed to quite a few quotes that i've found inspirational or have reminded me of what God is like or what i should be like or why i perservere in the gospel and in my work..

The first is by Garage Hymnal in their album, Bring on the Day..I tell you ok, this Australian group is as good as Hillsongs or better...just that they're not known in Asia or anywhere else much...i delight in discovering lesser known bands like these and telling my closest friends about how good their music is..and of course, if u actually keep track of this blog then well, you're probably one of my close frens who gives a crap about my life..or mayb u're just nosy..anyways..
my quote from them is from their song, Promises...

"Not one of the promises
of God has ever failed
Not one, Not one"

God does not fail, especially in what He has promised in His Word..no, it is us, ungrateful and unfaithful human beings, who fail...and then we want to bring God down to our level by claiming that He has failed or is dead or does not exist...ridiculous arrogance..

my second quote is from today's lesson at Introduction to the Bible, Course 1 of the part-time, distance learning Certificate of Theology from Moore Theological College ..i tell you ok, i struggled to get out of bed at 8 am this morning after coming back from Sydney around 12 last nite with my frens (u noe who u are)..and after i finished class at 11am i came back n collapsed on my bed till 4 pm..
anyway, the quote is from my textbook, "those who receive God's gracious gift of redemption must respond in obedience. This is not only gratitude. It is the nature of redemption." Redeemed to obey? How interesting...

and my third quote is from Spain Rodriguez' Graphic Novel about the life of Che Guevarra (thats rite, it not a comic..comics are for children..men and artists read Graphic Novels..whatever) if you think that i'm influenced by Christian teaching on obedience and the life of the great rebel, radical and revolutionary Che Guevarra and find that a contradiction in terms i'll say that obedience to God can and should be displayed in radical, revolutionary ways that shake the established order of things..but of course, only in so far as it is led by God's Spirit and Grace and not human strength...incidentally, the only 3 Socialists i've ever respected are Leon Trotsky, Che Guevarra and Wang Min, the CCP's representative to Comintern in the 1930s-40s, who was the last true chinese Marxist and the only Chinese Bolshevik who ever lived..
i have a few Guevarra quotes:
"i believe that the division of Latin America into unstable and illusory nations is completely fictional. We constitute a single mestizo race which from Mexico to the Magellan Strait bears ethnographic similarities. And so, in an attempt to rid myself of the weight of small minded provincialism, i propose a toast to a United Latin America!"

"To label 'communist' all those who refuse to bow down is an old dictator's trick."

"I believe that revolution can be created in any country by a determined vanguard"

"The dift towards Market Economies (in the former Soviet Bloc) is an error. After the closing of unprofitable factories in Yugoslavia, thousands of those workers were forced to leave their homes and look for work abroad."

don't get me worng..i'm no communist..but i like Guevarra, his courage to the end and his firm conictions in the face of all opposition..

A Spider Story, Or The Revenge Of The Underdog

I'm gonna tell ya a story abridged and adapted from Neil Gaiman's American Gods..about the little trickster spider god Anansi, or Compe Anansi as they call him..i hope Mr Gaiman won't sue me for copyright infringement for re-telling his little story (he shouldn't if he's a good self respecting post-modernist who's skeptical of human efforts to control the world through such ridiculous nonsense as copyrighting)..so here goes..

One day Mr Spider, who is small and weak and not very imposing, decides to have a bath in the River. (now this is a Jungian archetype of all rivers thats why i'm calling it, or rather her, River) Now in those days when the world was young and the gods still lived amongst men in the physical world (wait a minute, did they ever stop living amongst us?), during those days, Crocodile, well, she lived in the River, waiting silently for unheeding passersby to drink or swim or bathe in the River. And so, she would wait, still as a log, floating on the surface, watching, watching...and Mr Spider knew this. And being Mr Spider, he decided to play it shrewd. Now wat was the most important part of a person that one could absolutely not lose to Crocodile, he thought..That i shall leave on the shore with my spider spindle and spider sense and spider bite...and of course, what should it be but Mr Spider's balls..yes thats right, dun wanna have ugly old Crocodile biting off and stealling my balls..

so he leaves his balls on the River bank with his Spider Spindle, Spider Sense and Spider Bite..and he has a bath..but lo, today is his lucky day and Crocodile is nowhere to be found..and so, after an age of bathing (i exaggerate, or do i?), Mr Spider comes out of the water all refreshed and ready to go his way..now it is the supreme state of affairs in this world that when a man escapes one misfortune he falls immediately into another..so it happens that upon collecting his possessions, Mr Spider is met immediately (and not too happily) by Tiger (yes, another Jungian Archetype..are u not sick of them by now) who growls and threatens Mr Spider to tell him where he has just come from and what he has just done and why he is looking so refreshed and happy...or else!! So Mr Spider tells Tiger very shrewdly about his bath in the River and how he had the fortune of not meeting Crocodile today, and if, Tiger should decide to have a bath as well, he was sure Crocodile would not turn up also..besides, he was Tiger and if small, weak, unimposing Mr Spider could get away with bathing in the River, why should Tiger be afraid even if he did meet Crocodile..he was Tiger the fierce, the bloodthirsty, the powerful..was he not? But alas, if he should meet Crocodile, one should not do battle with her and lose his most precious possessions..so Mr Spider offered to guard Tiger's Balls for him on the River bank and keep them safe.and this of course, was exactly the arrangement Tiger made with Spider.

and of course, while Tiger is bathing, Mr Spider puts on Tiger's Balls and leaves his two tiny, spider balls on the River bank and heads off into Town...but thats not the end of the story..for, you see, on reaching Town, Mr Spider promptly hides Tiger's Balls in a safe place before singing out loud enough for Monkey (who sits nearby waiting for fruits to fall from the grocer's cart) to hear,

Tiger's Balls, Tiger's Balls,
I stole Tiger's Balls,
And there ain't nothing he could do about it,

Yes, I stole Tiger's Balls

and of course, Monkey comes jumping down from a nearby tree wanting to learn the song..and of course, Mr Spider teaches it to him and gives him free reign to sing it all over town and in the jungles...and then Mr Spider goes back to the River bank and waits for Tiger to finish his bath..and when Tiger does come out of the water, he sees Mr Spider and his Tiger Balls missing...and in a great uproar, Tiger pounces on Mr Spider and pins him to the ground..and Mr Spider screams out in fear and agony, pleeeease, Tiger, don't hurt meeee...i tried to keep your Tiger Balls safe, but Monkey, he came swooping down from the trees and stole them right before my eyes...and you know how fast and agile and nimble he is and how small and weak and unimposing i am..how could i stop him...all i can do is offer you my own tiny Spider balls in exchange for what you've lost..jussst don't killll me.." and right that moment, Monkey comes swinging through the trees, singing "Tiger's Balls, Tiger's Balls, I sole Tiger's Balls, and there ain't nothing he could do about it, Yes, i stole Tiger's Balls"..

and Tiger in great fury and anger, puts on Spider's balls, leaps up and starts chasing Monkey noisily through the Jungle.. and Mr Spider smiles...that is why, to this day, Tiger still chases Monkey and if you look between his legs, you will see the 2 smallest balls inside an oversized ball sac...and what about Mr Spider? well, he's still got Tiger's Balls...

Abridged and Adapted from Neil Gaiman's American Gods

2days and a night

i'm really feeling like i've got lead in my legs and iron arms that refuse to flex or bend no matter how much u act on them or will them..and all this due to 2 consecutive days at the gym doing my 2.4 km running again, my chin ups and weights..from pec fly-in to bicep curls..and body attack today (such an apt name) and crunch which really should be Crunch!!....but it feels really good with all those endorphins and adrenaline rushing through my bloodstream and into my brain..man..such an organic drug shot..

its good to be back at the gym after an absence of around about 6 weeks..and the feeling of accumulated fat around the waistline drippin away under the intense stress of a good reverse crunch (its definitely psychological) is so good..n connectin with gym mates that i've not seen for around 6? weeks..oh boy, sorry for the long absence dudes..

and yeah..i think more clearly these days after hittin the gym..great for work and assignments and everything else actualli..haha..man, maybe i'll even get started on that bottle of weight-gainer that Chris passed me back in March..na...i dun think so..too much effort and i'm not dat serious..

and i thank God for that great bonding session with Cyril, Junsheng and Ben at the movies on Monday nite.. unfortunately, we watched the latest installment of The Mummy returns which really has succeeded in insulting all cultures involved..from Egyptian to Chinese to English...and such bloody shallow storylines that have a wooden cast n flimsy plot..which will never fail to offend any normal human sensibilities..such a crappy show..n Jet Li never spoke more than 3 sentences at a time..in fact, he appeared for no more than 20 minutes throughout the entire movie..discounting the poor computer generated versions of him of course..n did ya noe that they change some of the main characters every installment of the movie? the last time, Mad-Dog the pilot was a black man..the time before that he was an old white man..this time he's a gin-slining rough neck Scottsman(or possibly Irish)..thats just unbelievably ridiculous man..n the poor choreography of the few fight scenes was appalling..its a shame to even call the show an action movie..

enough complaining..it was good friendship, mixing and bonding that helped me get to noe the guys better..the movie was a sideshow..oh yes..3 more days till Singapore Day in Melbourne..i really need to get a good lounge suit man..where got time?

To Shian Wen

Shian, u noe...u're the only Christian from those years in St Andrews School with whom i'm still completely on the same wavelength with then as now..u and i, well, we always had a mind of our own huh? in church with questioning..in life with our refusal to toe the line for the sake of toe-ing the line..and that dogged persistence when we watched our friends fall away and by God's grace we just kept on..funny how the rebels like us remained christian when the conformists fell away huh?

when i think if it was onli me who had bad experiences growing up with pentecostals and charismatics and felt so alone..i visit yer blog or talk to ya and am reminded that someone did agree and still agrees about those excesses which we want to see corrected..and how the pple in that movement (back home at least) often got it so wrong..i realise that i'm not a lone voice calling for change and repentance..others, equally part of that movement or tradition,stand as fellow travellers on that road..who can know the heart of people who've seen brothers, sisters and frens from the same churches stray and fall away? you noe what it feels like my brother and friend..

oh, that God may grant us courage and persistence to be different and to Truly live holy..rather than act religious..n that we might have the courage to say we're not perfect, but that in God's grace and by His Spirit we are making progress..you inspire me to be a different kind of pentecostal/charismatic Shian..and i resolutely set my face to be a whole different kettle of fish from the kinds of Christians we encountered growing up..the time has come to stop being lambs with regard to true holiness, repentance and preaching of God's Word Shian...By God's grace let us be lions..Its time to battle with what is wrong, sinful, corrupt and utterly abhorent to the God of the Bible within the pentecostal/charismatic movement back home..even to the extent of nailing 95 Theses (after Martin Luther's example) to the doors of our churches..

Hannibal Lecter

Probably the best Anthony Hopkins movie would be Silence of the Lambs where he plays the famous psychiatrist Hannibal Lecter who happens to be a serial killer..and not just any serial killer, but one who eats his victims..or rather, parts of his victims..

The film was based on a novel created by Thomas Harris and eventually came to involve 4 novels, Silence of the Lambs, Hannibal, Hannibal Rising and the prequel, Red Dragon..its hard to tell whether the subsequent novels were inspired by the film production of Silence of the Lambs, or were the inspiration for the subsequent film adaptations of the remaining 3 novels...one thing is clear though, save for Hannibal Rising, all 3 movies were fantastic onscreen adaptations..and Gaspard Ulliel played Hannibal amazingly well in Hannibal Rising even though the screenplay and plot were pretty flimsy..

watching Hannibal Rising on my laptop today triggered memories of dark late teenage years when i also wanted to get back at an unfriendly world and unfriendly pple around me..Hannibal was THE ultimate anti-hero..actually he was a villian but a really likeable one..the next closest anti-hero would be Spawn..a hero who destroys his foes and doesn't care a hoot about saving pple which was always really a pretext for super-heroes to boost their own egos anyway..along with Paul Atreides the Mahdi Prophet from Frank Herbert's Dune Messiah and in recent years, Gregory House from the award-winning and self-explanatory show House..cut up the bad guys and eat their brains? whoah...thats a bit much even for mi..but really interesting wouldnt ya say? i wonder if Jesus had a side to Him like that? muahahaha..u never know...actually, i think there is an element of truth in that..the word hell appears 13 times in the gospels..if i'm not wrong..11 of which are on the lips of Jesus..well thats enough to disabuse anyone of Sunday School images of Jesus i think..

oh, and, let me state categorically that i think Hannibal Rising has a really flimsy story line especially at the start with the parents being killed in an air raid and Hannibal and Mischa having to defend themselves against SS deserters (thats an impossibility Hollywood, you know that? especially if you knew anything about history) but the whole way the film tries to protray Hannibal as some tortured and haunted child who goes psycho after seeing his sister killed and eaten by those deserters sounds somehow contrived (esp if u watch the show)..sometimes pple like Hannibal just are what they are without a whole sad and tragic background..and i would have preferred it that way..

but as i said..Gaspard Ulliel portrayed Hannibal as good as Anthony Hopkins..not dark and brooding or tortured..but just cruel and sadistic..because he could and was like that..and there are times when i confess i struggle to not treat pple like that..i dun only cos of God's grace..but i still find it hard not to feel negatively about pple and their intentions and actions..i want to be in control and a person who does things rather than has things done to me..but i'm only human and flawed i realise..n my thought are often wrong..so yeah, while i admire Hannibal cladestinely, i can't be like him nor do i try (which is probably good cos i dun wanna end up eating human brains...)

Tasting God's Pain

Oh sing to the Lord a new song; sing to the Lord, all the Earth! Sing to the Lord, bless His name, tell of His salvation day by day...For great is the Lord, and greatly to be praised, He is to be feared above all gods. Psalm 96:1-2,4

Today i cry. i weep with they who weep and mourn with those who mourn. There was someone i know back home whom i developed a great liking for late last year and early this year. We had one of those conversations before i left for Australia this year where our positions were made clear. And we decided to remain friends. i still care for this friend deeply even though not romantically now. And just last night, i learnt of her getting together with a non-Christian guy.

From the way she talked about their relationship, i knew what will come in the days ahead. Its not pretty. We all know deep down through the work of the Holy Spirit what is right and wrong in certain matters. We know yet we do not often follow what God's Spirit prompts and we do the opposite. "I do not understand my own actions. For i do not do what i want, but i do the very thing i hate." Romans 7:15 And having come through the pain of a relationship with someone who's not a christian once, i know what its like. The pain, agony, tears, anguish, the guilt. I cry and pray for this friend and sister because i know now what the pain of seeing a close friend make a foolish decision is like. And i know how often this can lead to backsliding and falling away. Yes, i believe in God's sovereignty and election, yes i believe in the perserverance of the saints of God, but this does not remove or lessen the pain of seeing a Christian do something foolish like this that you know destroys faith and one's walk with God.

at this point i am sorely tempted to drop what i'm doing and go into full time ministry because thats where i know the real problems can be solved. you see, its not a problem with man's dwellings or environment, its not a problem with man's bodies or health, its not a problem of man's finances, its the problem of sin in his soul. And sometimes i despair for Christian manhood. when the ladies bypass godly men to go for non-christians, a chill wind cuts right through my bones.what hope is there that godly, christian men can ever get married and have families? what hope is there that christian men can raise children to be godly? we are finished. The end of christian manhood is upon us, even in our generation i fear. i remember the barrowright's song from Lord of the Rings,

Cold be hand and heart and bone,
and cold be sleep under stone,
Never more to wake on stony bed,
Never, till sun dies and moon be dead
Till the Dark Lord lifts his bony hand,
over dead sea and withered land.

Then i recall Ps. 96. God is not like that. He is above and beyond petty evil, yet is acquainted with it in the person of Jesus, His Son. In Jesus, the God who is so far above and beyond us has come down to us and suffered, like us, under the effects of this evil world. "O wretched man that i am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!.." Romans 7:24-25...yes, Jesus is the anwer to the problem of sin..and only God can help my friend now..i pray for her, i cry for and with her, but i know its only God who can work in her by His Holy Spirit and help her have the strength and courage to make decisions that please Him..

still for me today, it is the sound of great weeping and despair that resounds in my ears..and i can only cling to straws..like this one: "Though the fig tree should not blossom, not fruit be on the vines, the produce of the olive fail and the fields yield no food, the flock be cut off from the fold and there be no herd in the stalls, yet i will rejoice in the Lord, I will take joy in the God of my salvation." Habbakuk 3:17-18..Will heaven's glories be greater than the sum of all of Earth's painful miseries? One can only hope..

Growth

weeks of work on my project seem to have borne some fruit and my submission for Schematic Design took place around 330-40 pm on Thursday, about a day late..but i will say that i've made progress tackling huge assignments of this scale since last semester..when i was almost completely swamped by Schematic Design submission for just a single residence..now its 14 residences in an area 22 metres wide by about 45 meteres long which really stretched my mind in Design and planning..and i must say that i'm much more satisfied with the result compared to my solution last sem..but more could still be done really..if i had the time..thats always the great enemy of an architect..time or rather, the lack of it..the other is cost but that can be worked around to produce magnificent solutions..time on the other hand, moves forward remorselessly..

and reading and studying Romans in Focus has been challenging and rewarding..many of my earlier ideas were clarified and issues which we'd not explored in first year reading Romans with Senno were raised for the first time..like the idea of Christians being adopted children who dun yet look any different from the rest of the world but yet who have a fundamental change of status in Jesus ..and helping to prepare studies in Mark every week with Dene have helped sharpen sharing the gospel and the basics of reading the gospel with students and friends who have either no knowledge of the gospel or poor English skills, or both..and have also fundamentally challenged my view of the Gospel of Mark (its like a condensed cordial drink that needs to be explained and exegeted a great deal because many issues are covered in a pithy, condensed manner) and given me a fresh view of Jesus that is completely removed from the Sunday School image of Jesus as meek and mild, kind and gentle, able to be bullied by anyone, a limp wristed namby-pamby...well, the Jesus revealed in the gospels is as full of mercy and grace as He is full of wrath, anger and fearsome fire that condemns sin and sinners (few of us ever knew that, let alone expected that huh)..and He is the King who demands complete obedience and submission, worship and allegiance..Jesus we've learning, is no constitutional monarch who has no real power over anything..rather, He is an Absolute Monarch who destroys opposition and who has Full and Active control over Everything

And Qunfeng has, by God's grace and mercy, found a job in Sydney! i am trully happy for him and thankful that i had the opportunity to care for him and go along with him to Life to the Full for a while before he left..And i pray sincerely that God will continue to work in his life and care for him and give him good friends who might be a godly influence on him..and so, another friend has left Newcastle..as i take stock of the friends who have left Newie (Jeremy, Aazac, James, Lake, Josh, Jesslyn, Branda, now Qunfeng) or who will be leaving Newie shortly (Zhaowei, Serene? Brendan? Paul? Junshi? Emmerie?) i do feel a bit sad..i still have good frens here of course, (Thank God!) but really, if i were to take stock after 5 years in Newcastle of how many frens had come and gone from my life..i really wonder if it would be an almost unbearable agony..thats the cost of studying overseas..ur frens who are also international students move on..i guess i can only be thankful and appreciate the fact that i once had the opportunity to make an impact on their lives and that we all did have some great times and fond memories together..u all remain in my heart n mind forever, Newcastle frens..Cheers!

Homeage to all who took part in the Paris Commune

Freddie Mercury aka Queen aka Farokh Busarra, the performer extraodinaire and champion of the Live Aid series of concerts held in the 1980s, when i was just a few years old and a really really young Chiku, to borrow a phrase from a gd fren of mine, was The Rebel. And to all who grew up in St Andrews School during that period of the 90s thinkin that goody two shoe-in was just not quite adequate an attitude to have in life, our rediscovery of Queen and good ol Freddie was just wat seemed to be lackin in our minimal existence..yes, he was a homosexual who died of AIDS in 1990 and no, i'm no homosexual myself nor do i support that lifestyle..but that man sure rocked..and if i could have one desire in life, it would be to see Freddie in heaven leading choirs of angels in worship of God..i'm sure he'd be the perfect worship leader who'd completely remove all memories of Lucifer from God's mind..of course that would remain a futile wish..but i look up to Freddie the performer..and wish sometimes that i were like him in his charisma and charm and stage presence..especially his ability to rouse a crowd and grip their hearts, even though i think he was a pretty manipulative b*st*rd himself..

for those of us who never bought into the establishment of this world and all its trappings, but who recognized the need to bring our rebellion and anti-establishment attitude to a higher and more sophisticated level within the secular system and wreak havoc within ..well, Freddie is one inspiration..and one day, lets pray and hope that we would all be able to show to the people within that system how futile their ways are..and we grow like a cancer within everyday..

A Short Script on Architecture, or A.U.C

i'm going to speak a bit about architecture and in fact, i think that i shall be doing more of these posts on my two twin loves, architecture and theology...i guess i should really stop posting stuff that tries too hard to please or that really does not show the full breadth of this self-deprecating person we know as Jonathan Chua..

About Art n Architecture:

i emphasize continuity with history and all its myriad successes and failings..thus, i support a contemporary interpretation of the Five Orders, arcading and a return to traditional models of space and a sense of place that our generation has lost under the influence of the Modernists.

i support the integration of Art and Architecture in different ways, from collage to integration wherein part reflects whole as whole reflects part..n i believe sincerely that Architecture must be returned to its rightful place as "Mother of the Arts"

we need to have a social n environmental conscience as Architects and Artists that reflects the precarious nature of the world we live in, with its countless (and senseless) wars and environmental pollution..thus the Architect must be reinstated in his role as mediator between the city and the natural, the urban and the forest..

i believe that for too long we have strayed from the path of balance, harmony, moderation, synthesis and integration and strove for extremes that hurt our built heritage, society and people.However, there is indeed a need to recognize self-organisation within the city...as elements that are on the boundary between chaos and order develop self-organisation...these elements are found in our cities whether we like it or not..

finally, let us never forget our role of service to the people and society that commissions us...let us never get caught up in self-indulgent, self-aggrandising, egotistical schemes that glorify ourselves at the expense of our commissioners..however, let us also not adopt false humility as the Modernists did and strive for senseless automation and monotony that would destroy our profession and our art, if not our souls..

lets return to the ancient call of Ab Urbe Conditta..respecting the integrity of our cities and built environment rather than thrashing it..

Reversing the Orders

Lord, high and holy,
meek and lowly,
You have brought me to the valley of vision,
where I live in the depths
but see You in the heights;
locked in by mountains of sin I see Your glory.
Let me learn by paradox that

the way down is the way up,
that
to be low is to be high,
that
the broken heart is the healed heart,
that
the contrite spirit is the rejoicing spirit,
that
the repenting soul is the victorious soul,
that
to have nothing is to possess all,
that
to bear the cross is to wear the crown,
that
to give is to receive,
that
the valley is the place of vision.

Lord, while it is still day
stars may be seen through deep wells,
and the deeper the wells
the brighter Your stars shine;
let me find

Your
light in my darkness,
Your
life in my death,
Your
joy in my sorrow,
Your
grace in my sin,
Your
riches in my poverty,
Your
glory in my valley.

Amen.

Nutcracker Suite

wow i tot i would kena big time from my fren but it was more of an encouragement than a scolding..well, in appreciation, i've decided to dedicate something about dance to this fren and all my other dancer frens, inc Sera..i actually watched this movie during my 'arthouse' flick time at the end of NS...tot it would be cool to see something other than Advanced Close Combat Training and puji stick fighting for once..but of course, all the guys would say its gay etc...i dun think so lor..if anyone can jump like that without breaking their neck i'll salute them man...

and of course, getting up at 4 am to do work everyday is inspired by this show lor...its called dedication can...n when it comes to dedication..doctors, architects, lawyers, accountants and pastors are the 'tough nuts to crack' lor...well..back to residential medium density housing...time to crack some nuts..

This or that

i'm wondering aloud (here) for a moment..shd i return to being cold, aloof and distant, untouchable n untouched by the people aroun mi, because i somehow feel my presence is an uninvited irritation and interruption to them? or shd i keep trying to be more involved and engaged with the people aroun mi inspite of my inner sense of being left out n excluded more often than not?

i wondr if the potential to be hurt n disappointed will be less if i do the former...quite possibly..but den again, like the Modern movement, life would be so dreadfully boring without some of that (post-modern) drama..hmmmm..a tough choice to make n one that i shall probably hav to conduct a greater study of...

i could just go back to my shell of being the dark one who speaks not unless spoken to..but i never liked that fellow as well...he was cold as liquid hydrogen n i like to be warm n friendly...he was a reaction to certain groups that made mi uncomfortable to be aroun, but i din like such a reaction..but i would be free of all that crappy human behaviour that can get us down all the time..free of changeable human nature that changes faster than my socks...free of that human criticism that always gets under my skin..so tempting.......

for now, i shall continue engagement and rapport-building with human beings...but my judgement is still reserved...i shall have to calculate the costs of human involvement sometime in the near future...

no. 3 Together in Electric Dreams

Oh yes my late sleeping frens, here's one by Phil Oakney about dreaming..for all your loved ones whom you miss and want to have and hold right now..with the internet age, electric dreaming gets easier every second..

Song no.2 Dancing Queen by Kylie

Oh Kylie!
if we could all dance like this old chick, the world might be a happier place...

All 80s weekend

here in Australia a bit boring sometimes..so have to do some lame stuff for self entertainment n motivation..i miss my Class 95 all 80s weekend..so i guess just have to come up with Jono's own All 80s Weekend..

n since i never figured how to add audio tracks to my blog..i just hav to add a few videos from you-tube...man..this is gonna make my blog like a mini-you-tube...but i'm siao one as all my frens noe..haha..well here goes..

Song no. 1

Richard Marx-Right Here Waiting, brought to ya by ur DJ Jono Singaporeman

Ahhhhhh, yes...

This song is Therapy for a lonely, tired, wounded soul...i feel the age dripping off my bones once more..

Forever Young, i wanna be forever young,
Do you really wanna live forever, forever and ever,
Young?

Some are like water, some are like the beach,
Some are like the melody and some like the beat,

So many adventures good enough today,
so many song we forgot to play,
so many dreams swinging out the blue,
let it come true!

Owowowowowowowo

went for Life to the Full with Brendan and Qunfeng on Thursday nite..where some cool 80s video was played..reminding mi of the Glorious 80s again..i was born in 1984 so i had about 6 years of those wonderful golden years..while i dun remember much of it, i do remember the 80s music blaring from my family's car stereo..n i rediscovered them in my late teens and early 20s..classics like Bananarama's Love in the First Degree, Square Rooms, Rick Astley's Together Forever, Never Gonna Give You Up, Flashdance, Modern Talking and All their songs..but those were pointed out to mi by my former housemate really..Richard Marx, Sister Sledge's Frankie and other classics, Phil Oakney's Together in Electric Dreams, Starship's Sara and We built This City, Berlinda Carlisle's Moonlight Shadow, Circles in the Sand and Summer Rain, Human League's Don't you Want me Baby? Tarzan Boy, FOREVER YOUNG!!! and all the classic synthesizer electric blues...man..i wonder where all that hairspray, shoulder pads, curly hair and funky colour combinations went to..

Look at the dance steps n listen to the complex arhythmic electro beats man..close ur eyes and feel it rushhing through your veins again my friends...relive the 80s!

Revolution or Compromise?

Lots of pple have given me the comment that my blog posts are too damn chim/complicated, n i always see myself as sympathetic to the Post-modern idea of communication being really important to the man-in-the-street(aka "unchim" pples)..so i guess i'll hav to experiment with new story-telling techniques in bloggin...n this blog is a sort of experimental station after all so...here goes..

in the cool land of Ash, there were once 2 boys...one was called Eric and the other Jack..now if u hav not noticed, these are corny names as hell, but they will do for the purpose of this story..Eric was strong, fit, sporty and everything that a classic hero should be..Jack, however, was thin, scrawny, weak and not very confident of himself..

as they grew up, Eric always had the best that life could give him..n pple liked Eric..especially the gals..who were attracted to his strong, full muscles and cute boyish features..Jack, on the other hand, was not dat well-like by pple..he was shy and not able to express himself well, and was not a muscular, sporty male..in fact, he was quite poor at sports..and of course, the girls did not like Jack..he never felt so alone like when he was growing up

and when the time came to work..and this was a time before university opportunity was widely available, Eric took over his father's plantation in Ash and became a rich land owner..and Jack, not having the confidence to do anything great, decided to work for Eric as a servant..in Ash, servants were almost treated like slaves...n Jack was treated quite poorly during these years..

however, as the years passed, Jack grew stronger n more confident as he worked in the fields..the land seemed to give him a dignity he never had before..he knew at exactly wat time the sun would rise in the sky and the time it would set..he knew wat to add to the soil when it did not produce stuff..he knew the fastest way to harvest watever it was they were growing..

and Eric grew more and more dependent on his servants and people around him..he did nothing by himself..gradually, his muscles became fat and he put on weight..his mind was less sharp then before and he just found it hard to concentrate..

now Jack wanted to be free of Eric..n so, he led a group of servants in a huge revolution to win their freedom..because Eric was unwilling to let them go, which was quite normal really..Just when Jack n the servants were winning however, Eric decided to make a deal..if they compromised, they could share in the harvest and the land equally n live free..

this sounded good to Jack..n so they made a deal..n gradually, step by step, Jack came to become exactly like Eric..n the whole point of the revolution was just that..to become like the people who they rebelled against..

Does compromise kill revolution? Will weakness come when revolution ends? What does dis mean for a revolutionary like mi?