Tasting God's Pain

Oh sing to the Lord a new song; sing to the Lord, all the Earth! Sing to the Lord, bless His name, tell of His salvation day by day...For great is the Lord, and greatly to be praised, He is to be feared above all gods. Psalm 96:1-2,4

Today i cry. i weep with they who weep and mourn with those who mourn. There was someone i know back home whom i developed a great liking for late last year and early this year. We had one of those conversations before i left for Australia this year where our positions were made clear. And we decided to remain friends. i still care for this friend deeply even though not romantically now. And just last night, i learnt of her getting together with a non-Christian guy.

From the way she talked about their relationship, i knew what will come in the days ahead. Its not pretty. We all know deep down through the work of the Holy Spirit what is right and wrong in certain matters. We know yet we do not often follow what God's Spirit prompts and we do the opposite. "I do not understand my own actions. For i do not do what i want, but i do the very thing i hate." Romans 7:15 And having come through the pain of a relationship with someone who's not a christian once, i know what its like. The pain, agony, tears, anguish, the guilt. I cry and pray for this friend and sister because i know now what the pain of seeing a close friend make a foolish decision is like. And i know how often this can lead to backsliding and falling away. Yes, i believe in God's sovereignty and election, yes i believe in the perserverance of the saints of God, but this does not remove or lessen the pain of seeing a Christian do something foolish like this that you know destroys faith and one's walk with God.

at this point i am sorely tempted to drop what i'm doing and go into full time ministry because thats where i know the real problems can be solved. you see, its not a problem with man's dwellings or environment, its not a problem with man's bodies or health, its not a problem of man's finances, its the problem of sin in his soul. And sometimes i despair for Christian manhood. when the ladies bypass godly men to go for non-christians, a chill wind cuts right through my bones.what hope is there that godly, christian men can ever get married and have families? what hope is there that christian men can raise children to be godly? we are finished. The end of christian manhood is upon us, even in our generation i fear. i remember the barrowright's song from Lord of the Rings,

Cold be hand and heart and bone,
and cold be sleep under stone,
Never more to wake on stony bed,
Never, till sun dies and moon be dead
Till the Dark Lord lifts his bony hand,
over dead sea and withered land.

Then i recall Ps. 96. God is not like that. He is above and beyond petty evil, yet is acquainted with it in the person of Jesus, His Son. In Jesus, the God who is so far above and beyond us has come down to us and suffered, like us, under the effects of this evil world. "O wretched man that i am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!.." Romans 7:24-25...yes, Jesus is the anwer to the problem of sin..and only God can help my friend now..i pray for her, i cry for and with her, but i know its only God who can work in her by His Holy Spirit and help her have the strength and courage to make decisions that please Him..

still for me today, it is the sound of great weeping and despair that resounds in my ears..and i can only cling to straws..like this one: "Though the fig tree should not blossom, not fruit be on the vines, the produce of the olive fail and the fields yield no food, the flock be cut off from the fold and there be no herd in the stalls, yet i will rejoice in the Lord, I will take joy in the God of my salvation." Habbakuk 3:17-18..Will heaven's glories be greater than the sum of all of Earth's painful miseries? One can only hope..