Only the Ready Die (ORD for short)

when i finalli hav e time to get down to serious bloggin aftr e hectic new yr n christmas break, i find dat i'm a new man with a different social status...i hav been officialli a civilian aftr losin my freedom (for 2 years n 4 months in e military) since 24th dec..

i feel good enuff to write a long blog on dis...please bear with mi my pre-ord frens n bros..but let mi tell u dat when my close frens ord'd..dey sms'ed mi in e middle of my outfield trainin..how much worse does it get?i realli went into a downward spin emotionally for e remainder of e day aftr receivin 15 to 20 "ORD loh" messages in e space of half an hour..

e gals will never understand..sometimes i couldn't stand their plattitudes..n i felt so often like tellin em to not display their ignorance bout things they knew nuttin of..esp those who broke up with my gd frens in e army n shortly started goin steady with other guys in uni..we've been at e bottom of e enotional dustbin boyz..fear nothin else anymore..e darktime is almost ovr my army mates..now "those who go down on their bellies to eat the dust of the earth shall arise to rule e universe" as Frank Herbert says in his book Dune..may all e nascent energies n latent passions of e oppressed be unleashed as in e days of Marx n Engels..let e world be engulfed in blood n fire once more..

when u ord..its just anothr day..anti-climatic rite?dats wat i tot oso..but e realisation dat somethin has changed comes to mind gradualli..no worries bout when to go back to camp..free weekends (esp Sundays) every week, bein abl to sleep, wake n eat as n when one pleases..n best of all..noe-in for once dat no one realli gives a dam* when u screw up somethin..freedom can be scary sometimes..there hav been nites i dreamt i was still back in e trenches diggin n waitin for dawn with its inevitable assault to arrive..i reach for my rifle by my side only to find it gone n i'm all alone..holdin e line..i wake in cold sweat, a silent scream echoin in my head..leave no man behind?!..n i'm starin at e bright sunlight in an empty bedroom..without meanin or purpose..ORD loh??

some of my frens hav had such trouble findin jobs post-national service except low-payin dead-end types like shop assistants..its hard to go back to e workin world aftr 2 odd years..we're rust buckets n inexperienced..havin had littl opp to put wat we learned in jc or poly to use in ns..dats y i personalli feel studyin for a while is better aftr leavin e army..howeva, all of us(commandrs at least) r full of fight..in e tradition of e fightin man who's had great odds stacked against him..we want to meet life's challenges head-on w/o shirkin..2 years is enuff time wasted..e time of youthful games n fun is past, e time of hard-nosed realism is at hand...

in conclusion, i would like to dedicate dis post to e memory n lives of fighters n soldiers who i esteem more highly than e 'toy' generals in e SAF..men like Moshe Dayan, Yitzhak Rabin, Ariel Sharon n women like Golda Meir n formr US Supreme Court Judge Sarah Day O'Connor.. Out. Run. Destiny...ORD loh