Crossing
9 years ago
Monday, January 30, 2006
Kinder Garten
Some day, when i'm older..i imagine strange blokes givin mi a call in e middle o' e nite,"Uncle Jonathan, do u still hav pictures of mi when i was a child..yes..those taken at Chinese New Year every year? Can i hav a copy of them in digital format? Why? you see, i'm gettin married soon, n i'd like a slideshow at e weddin dinner of all those growin up moments...wat? 200bucks?!"
Little nephews n nieces runnin around today n grown up tml...inconceivable yet inevitable..Chinese New Year is e time when i look at e kids n how they've grown n progressed in their own lives...also e time i listen to certain elders talk bout their experiences n views on life which are..for want of a better word..enlightenin..though i'd never say dat to their faces of course..
i never knew soya sauce n rice was e secret of Japanese longeveity...or dat politics is such a...rewardin profession dat leaves lastin verbal legacies for ministers...
well, thanks to those who came for my New Year Lunch to day..do hope it was warm n welcomin..if u hav'nt noticed, e atmosphere i wa tryin to create was dat of the fren-li though untidy home ala Badger's house in Wind in the Willows...mayb it worked n mayb it din...but i hope all had a good time dat remains deepli etched for some time..
N yup, i've uploaded some photos of the new year so far...mostly pics of my nephews n nieces though, as 1 can observe...still figurin out dat camera so pray forgive...Oh, and..Happy Chinese New Year..
Little nephews n nieces runnin around today n grown up tml...inconceivable yet inevitable..Chinese New Year is e time when i look at e kids n how they've grown n progressed in their own lives...also e time i listen to certain elders talk bout their experiences n views on life which are..for want of a better word..enlightenin..though i'd never say dat to their faces of course..
i never knew soya sauce n rice was e secret of Japanese longeveity...or dat politics is such a...rewardin profession dat leaves lastin verbal legacies for ministers...
well, thanks to those who came for my New Year Lunch to day..do hope it was warm n welcomin..if u hav'nt noticed, e atmosphere i wa tryin to create was dat of the fren-li though untidy home ala Badger's house in Wind in the Willows...mayb it worked n mayb it din...but i hope all had a good time dat remains deepli etched for some time..
N yup, i've uploaded some photos of the new year so far...mostly pics of my nephews n nieces though, as 1 can observe...still figurin out dat camera so pray forgive...Oh, and..Happy Chinese New Year..
Saturday, January 28, 2006
Movies n Cameras
When i 1st saw e book Memoirs of a Geisha i tot it was another self-glorifyin biography of sex n high-class prostitution..when i read it (borrowed from a fren) i realised it was quite touching n poignant..den of course e movie came out...
typical Hollywood hubris dat is a "monument to mediocrity" just like Kevin Federline's newest album...Sayuri/Chiyo not fleshed out at all n e endin like some fairy tale plot...of course Gong Li's portrayal of Hatsumomo would be a savin grace in such circumstances...i tried so hard to feel for Sayuri...but could not with all e focus on screenplay rather than interpersonal character development..its realli shallow compared to e book...
anyway, i caught e movie at 1 in e afternoon with my cousin in a realli empty cinema whose no. of audience could b counted on e fingers of 1's hands..n it was fliipin bluidy cold...i kept askin myself how much Zhang Zhiyi has grown as an actress since Crouchin Tiger, Hidden Dragon Days...undiscernible was e answer i was forced to come away with..still bland n lackin in depth of expression..
but at least they managed to keep e movie dignified n not sleazy..i realised durin e movie dat i was right(to some extent) after all...Geishas really were high class prostitutes in a manner of speakin...wat with e Mizuage biddin n "eels in caves"..i just din realise it when caught up in e current of the story while readin e book..thanks Hollywood!
anyway , i oso got myself dat nice Panasonic FX 8 for capturin overseas shots..still tryin to get e hang of it but its a step in e rite direction i believe..can take more professional n longer lastin photographs now i guess..Thank God i had a lobang or openin with my fren Ricky, who gave it to mi at a good price..with 512mb memory card, screen protector n other accessories...e shop he worked at was tremendousli good at rippin pple off i heard...but checkin a few places i found his offer not bad...which was assurin..at least i noe he's not a crook like e rest of e pple in dat shop..(at least not to a fren)
well, considerin dat gettin a digital camera has been at e top of my to-get list since 2001, its a certain relief to be able to get it finalli..now i do truli hope i can upload pix onto dis blog n capture images when i party n study...financial independence is crucial to gettin many accessories actualli..but another time on dat topic..
typical Hollywood hubris dat is a "monument to mediocrity" just like Kevin Federline's newest album...Sayuri/Chiyo not fleshed out at all n e endin like some fairy tale plot...of course Gong Li's portrayal of Hatsumomo would be a savin grace in such circumstances...i tried so hard to feel for Sayuri...but could not with all e focus on screenplay rather than interpersonal character development..its realli shallow compared to e book...
anyway, i caught e movie at 1 in e afternoon with my cousin in a realli empty cinema whose no. of audience could b counted on e fingers of 1's hands..n it was fliipin bluidy cold...i kept askin myself how much Zhang Zhiyi has grown as an actress since Crouchin Tiger, Hidden Dragon Days...undiscernible was e answer i was forced to come away with..still bland n lackin in depth of expression..
but at least they managed to keep e movie dignified n not sleazy..i realised durin e movie dat i was right(to some extent) after all...Geishas really were high class prostitutes in a manner of speakin...wat with e Mizuage biddin n "eels in caves"..i just din realise it when caught up in e current of the story while readin e book..thanks Hollywood!
anyway , i oso got myself dat nice Panasonic FX 8 for capturin overseas shots..still tryin to get e hang of it but its a step in e rite direction i believe..can take more professional n longer lastin photographs now i guess..Thank God i had a lobang or openin with my fren Ricky, who gave it to mi at a good price..with 512mb memory card, screen protector n other accessories...e shop he worked at was tremendousli good at rippin pple off i heard...but checkin a few places i found his offer not bad...which was assurin..at least i noe he's not a crook like e rest of e pple in dat shop..(at least not to a fren)
well, considerin dat gettin a digital camera has been at e top of my to-get list since 2001, its a certain relief to be able to get it finalli..now i do truli hope i can upload pix onto dis blog n capture images when i party n study...financial independence is crucial to gettin many accessories actualli..but another time on dat topic..
Friday, January 27, 2006
Bak Kwa
its funny when u go all e way down somewhere to meet someone to get something..esp something as innocuous as Bak Kwa or barbequed sweet meat for e Chinese New Year dats comin up at e end o' e week..
dats wat i had to do today, collectin an order frm a fren who was sellin Bak Kwa...all e way down at the National University of Singapore...i was alwaez apprehensive of going to schs i did not belong to n places where i felt i did not belong..
but i did hav a good time talking to frens who were studyin there...dats e 2nd reason i went down..it must hav seemed strange to frens like Daniel who saw mi prayin with Eugene, Kumu n e rest in public at a small corner of e canteen..but dats how we got thru our JC n A'-level days...only with God n each other for company..
honestly, if you've never been a christian studyin in a public, government sch environment, u won't noe how alone it can feel..esp when pple who dun noe better start to poke fun at u for bein a christian...prob e closest experience like it would hav to b a Jew of the Diaspora..but i sidetrack too much..
it was a good experience meetin frens in e context of an 'education' environment..it makes us look again like we're young, naive n helpless...which we just might pass off as bein if u dun count 2 years 4 months doin hard military trainin in which we've (collectively) fired just about every infantry weapon there is in the arsenal of e SAF...from grenades n M16s to landmines (for mi) n anti-tank weapons dat burn at over 5000 degrees celsius when they hit u..
well, e moral of e story prob is dat one should collect Bak Kwa on a day when u're not rushin, esp when its from NUS students..since its a good excuse to meet up..oh and Kian, thanks for e surprise guest who came with e Bak Kwa delivery..sweet real sweet..e meat i mean..
dats wat i had to do today, collectin an order frm a fren who was sellin Bak Kwa...all e way down at the National University of Singapore...i was alwaez apprehensive of going to schs i did not belong to n places where i felt i did not belong..
but i did hav a good time talking to frens who were studyin there...dats e 2nd reason i went down..it must hav seemed strange to frens like Daniel who saw mi prayin with Eugene, Kumu n e rest in public at a small corner of e canteen..but dats how we got thru our JC n A'-level days...only with God n each other for company..
honestly, if you've never been a christian studyin in a public, government sch environment, u won't noe how alone it can feel..esp when pple who dun noe better start to poke fun at u for bein a christian...prob e closest experience like it would hav to b a Jew of the Diaspora..but i sidetrack too much..
it was a good experience meetin frens in e context of an 'education' environment..it makes us look again like we're young, naive n helpless...which we just might pass off as bein if u dun count 2 years 4 months doin hard military trainin in which we've (collectively) fired just about every infantry weapon there is in the arsenal of e SAF...from grenades n M16s to landmines (for mi) n anti-tank weapons dat burn at over 5000 degrees celsius when they hit u..
well, e moral of e story prob is dat one should collect Bak Kwa on a day when u're not rushin, esp when its from NUS students..since its a good excuse to meet up..oh and Kian, thanks for e surprise guest who came with e Bak Kwa delivery..sweet real sweet..e meat i mean..
Friday, January 20, 2006
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
Clone Bores
life is like a box of chocolates..you never know wat u're gonna get..as Tom Hanks observed so famousli in dat classic movie, Forest Gump..sometimes, though, it seems dat all the chocolates in der box look alike n taste alike...same factory, same assembly line processes, same candy mix...identical n conformist..
today's topic is CLONES...esp certain ones popularly termed O.Ls (Office Ladies)..they're pretty, dress to kill (or rather burst e thermostat in any room) n they wear loads of MAC, Shiseido n Kanebo...or wateva else is popular in make-up...man, seein them on a sidewalk in the heart of the CBD is akin to spottin dozens of identical quintuplets in a birthin ward at Kendang Kerbau Maternity Hospital...
please can any1 tell mi why they're all dressed in black, smoke Marlborough Menthol Lights n carry Gucci/Prada (or imitation Gucci/Prada) handbags dat dun seem able to hold an IC...n why they're all in slinky heels (Michael Crichton calls 'em "come f**k mi shoes") or stilettos?
They're hot n realli get under a man's skin i admit...until they open their mouths dat is..but in a club, many-a-guy would be caught with his pants down, so to speak, tryin to get a dance with them..
i saw a few O.Ls today while i was at Maccafe in Lido havin my usual cuppa..n i realli could not see e difference between them...in black as usual n lookin liked they shared clothes from e same wardrobe..they looked same fit to mi at least..n why do they love each other's company so much? i wonder...is it a open-n-shut case of, breathe deeply..solamen miseris socios habuisse doloris..or misery loves company in Latin..or simply because they flock together for safety from dat chief predator, man?
well, wateva it is, they look so hostile, aloof, cold n stuck-up..but i'd still like to hav one wrapped round my arm or other orifices...but seriousli, clones dun look healthy in Singapore or for dat matter, any part of e world...originality n personal style is much more valuable n impressive..so OL wannabes,i hope u giv dat some tot before u put on ur LBT tomorrow...
today's topic is CLONES...esp certain ones popularly termed O.Ls (Office Ladies)..they're pretty, dress to kill (or rather burst e thermostat in any room) n they wear loads of MAC, Shiseido n Kanebo...or wateva else is popular in make-up...man, seein them on a sidewalk in the heart of the CBD is akin to spottin dozens of identical quintuplets in a birthin ward at Kendang Kerbau Maternity Hospital...
please can any1 tell mi why they're all dressed in black, smoke Marlborough Menthol Lights n carry Gucci/Prada (or imitation Gucci/Prada) handbags dat dun seem able to hold an IC...n why they're all in slinky heels (Michael Crichton calls 'em "come f**k mi shoes") or stilettos?
They're hot n realli get under a man's skin i admit...until they open their mouths dat is..but in a club, many-a-guy would be caught with his pants down, so to speak, tryin to get a dance with them..
i saw a few O.Ls today while i was at Maccafe in Lido havin my usual cuppa..n i realli could not see e difference between them...in black as usual n lookin liked they shared clothes from e same wardrobe..they looked same fit to mi at least..n why do they love each other's company so much? i wonder...is it a open-n-shut case of, breathe deeply..solamen miseris socios habuisse doloris..or misery loves company in Latin..or simply because they flock together for safety from dat chief predator, man?
well, wateva it is, they look so hostile, aloof, cold n stuck-up..but i'd still like to hav one wrapped round my arm or other orifices...but seriousli, clones dun look healthy in Singapore or for dat matter, any part of e world...originality n personal style is much more valuable n impressive..so OL wannabes,i hope u giv dat some tot before u put on ur LBT tomorrow...
Reasons
Why not SIngapore? Why Newcastle or for dat matter why Australia? Many r e reasons man...i can only recount dat which is not offensive, nor classified nor too personal n liable to hurt others..
first off, Engineerin is not ma cup of tea(so to speak)..i dun forsee myself doin engineerin till i'm 50 or 60..though its stable n well-payin..its taken mi 5 years to realise dis or rather, to face reality..i suck at maths n i hate maths deep down..i dread every single equation n formula i had to memorise n learn...as well as every test i failed..but plese dun think i'm a coward.i tried for 5 years after all..
for a long time i din noe wat else to do..then i remembered my design days back in sec sch..dat was alwaez my fav subject..next to History of course..after choosin JC instead of Archi or Design at Temasek Poly, i've now come full circle to where i was aftr sec 4..i love design..its in my blood..like one day mayb ministry..God gives us only so much rope to run aroun on a leash..finalli back to where He wants us to go..not dat i can say God told mi so or something..but there seems some poetic justice in my decisions la...
n theres Australia...Gabriel choice of cambridge opened a door i'd previousli told myself was closed..dat of overseas study...my parents wanted to send mi off to UK aftr my o's act or to New Zealand after i ORD'd...i steadfastli refused mayb cos i believed in buyin brand Singapore for a long time..wateva..anywae, i realised NUS Archi was way too strict oso la..n i had to do a whoppin 7 years to qualify as architect...n its not dat great here man..e nearest was Australia n Newcastle was a good mix of cost-effectiveness, location n frankly, academic recognition (n renown) for e course..
spiritualli, i prayed a lot bout it n i had peace to go for Australia...n i felt i should experience church worship n service overseas away from my comfort zone..i've spent all my formative years in Charis which i love but, i felt spiritualli, i needed to be placed in a different church environment away from my parents to grow more balanced n more fully..n its time to learn how churches overseas do things so as to gain from e Body of Christ abroad..I've alwaez believed Christians should not be so inward lookin... n dis fosters n helps mi build my thesis..
emotionalli, i felt some issues n relationships would onli be set rite n placed in perspective if i went away for a while...i dun wanna reveal too much but all i'll say is dat i felt if i remained here, some things would just be fulfillin Vonda Sheperd's song for mi, "Baby dun you break my heart...slow"...i need to move onin some issues basically..
i hate to leave my frens man...but absence does make e heart fonder n guys, i carry e memories, well-wishes n care u hav for mi in my bosom alwaez..."n frens are frenz forever if the Lord's the Lord of them...n a fren will not say never, cos e welcome will not end..though its hard to let u go, in e Father's hands we noe, dat a lifetime's not too long, to live as frenz..." as dat song goes..with u, i'll never walk alone...right Kumu?
Come Feb 8th, i'll say as Jesus said at Gethsamane, "The Hour is at hand, rise, let us be on our way"...indeed..
first off, Engineerin is not ma cup of tea(so to speak)..i dun forsee myself doin engineerin till i'm 50 or 60..though its stable n well-payin..its taken mi 5 years to realise dis or rather, to face reality..i suck at maths n i hate maths deep down..i dread every single equation n formula i had to memorise n learn...as well as every test i failed..but plese dun think i'm a coward.i tried for 5 years after all..
for a long time i din noe wat else to do..then i remembered my design days back in sec sch..dat was alwaez my fav subject..next to History of course..after choosin JC instead of Archi or Design at Temasek Poly, i've now come full circle to where i was aftr sec 4..i love design..its in my blood..like one day mayb ministry..God gives us only so much rope to run aroun on a leash..finalli back to where He wants us to go..not dat i can say God told mi so or something..but there seems some poetic justice in my decisions la...
n theres Australia...Gabriel choice of cambridge opened a door i'd previousli told myself was closed..dat of overseas study...my parents wanted to send mi off to UK aftr my o's act or to New Zealand after i ORD'd...i steadfastli refused mayb cos i believed in buyin brand Singapore for a long time..wateva..anywae, i realised NUS Archi was way too strict oso la..n i had to do a whoppin 7 years to qualify as architect...n its not dat great here man..e nearest was Australia n Newcastle was a good mix of cost-effectiveness, location n frankly, academic recognition (n renown) for e course..
spiritualli, i prayed a lot bout it n i had peace to go for Australia...n i felt i should experience church worship n service overseas away from my comfort zone..i've spent all my formative years in Charis which i love but, i felt spiritualli, i needed to be placed in a different church environment away from my parents to grow more balanced n more fully..n its time to learn how churches overseas do things so as to gain from e Body of Christ abroad..I've alwaez believed Christians should not be so inward lookin... n dis fosters n helps mi build my thesis..
emotionalli, i felt some issues n relationships would onli be set rite n placed in perspective if i went away for a while...i dun wanna reveal too much but all i'll say is dat i felt if i remained here, some things would just be fulfillin Vonda Sheperd's song for mi, "Baby dun you break my heart...slow"...i need to move onin some issues basically..
i hate to leave my frens man...but absence does make e heart fonder n guys, i carry e memories, well-wishes n care u hav for mi in my bosom alwaez..."n frens are frenz forever if the Lord's the Lord of them...n a fren will not say never, cos e welcome will not end..though its hard to let u go, in e Father's hands we noe, dat a lifetime's not too long, to live as frenz..." as dat song goes..with u, i'll never walk alone...right Kumu?
Come Feb 8th, i'll say as Jesus said at Gethsamane, "The Hour is at hand, rise, let us be on our way"...indeed..
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
Back to e Old Sch
Life is meant to be lived forwards not backwards..yez thats interestin...well e weekend was interestin to say e least..headed down to SAS to look at e CCA display..ok i confess, i wanted to see how e new premises had turned out..e ties to family still tug at e heart strings i figure..
well, Daniel..its been a while since i last saw ya with dat chip (bar sorry) on ya shouldr..SIR...keep in touch man..still remembr dat promise i made to be ya best man when e day comes..n frens like Derek..thanx for invitin us to ya BBQ..hav not seen u since graduation..realli nice to meet ya again..n Sam Chong, dun try to be beng la..a specialist is alwaez bettr at doin dat than an officer...Sir..
SAS is different now man..e quadrangle is no longer 'Holy Ground'...e kids run on it lor...where angels fear to tread, fools rush in..i like dat bridge connector to SAJC man...symbolises a kinda comin of age dun u think?if u ignore e sulphur stench from e Kallang River dat is...e architects screwed up e environmental side o' e design man...e heat realli permeats e buildin complex man..neithr cool in e aftrnoon noe warm at nite...but still an improvement ovr e old premises...
still, i dun agree with puttin SAJC so close to SAS n SAJS...3 schs worth o' guys ogglin at babes in shorts n skirts...pity e ladies man..pity e ladies..mayb i'm just jealous cos i din get such an opp in secondary sch..hahahaha...then again...hav u ever wondered if gals like attention or they realli hate guys as they claim? million dollar question dat 1...ladies...help us there will ya??
lets keep each othr updated on our respective lives... guys, shall we? n Da, do ya hav Derek's e-mail add...i wanna thank him for e bbq...serious..
well, Daniel..its been a while since i last saw ya with dat chip (bar sorry) on ya shouldr..SIR...keep in touch man..still remembr dat promise i made to be ya best man when e day comes..n frens like Derek..thanx for invitin us to ya BBQ..hav not seen u since graduation..realli nice to meet ya again..n Sam Chong, dun try to be beng la..a specialist is alwaez bettr at doin dat than an officer...Sir..
SAS is different now man..e quadrangle is no longer 'Holy Ground'...e kids run on it lor...where angels fear to tread, fools rush in..i like dat bridge connector to SAJC man...symbolises a kinda comin of age dun u think?if u ignore e sulphur stench from e Kallang River dat is...e architects screwed up e environmental side o' e design man...e heat realli permeats e buildin complex man..neithr cool in e aftrnoon noe warm at nite...but still an improvement ovr e old premises...
still, i dun agree with puttin SAJC so close to SAS n SAJS...3 schs worth o' guys ogglin at babes in shorts n skirts...pity e ladies man..pity e ladies..mayb i'm just jealous cos i din get such an opp in secondary sch..hahahaha...then again...hav u ever wondered if gals like attention or they realli hate guys as they claim? million dollar question dat 1...ladies...help us there will ya??
lets keep each othr updated on our respective lives... guys, shall we? n Da, do ya hav Derek's e-mail add...i wanna thank him for e bbq...serious..
Thursday, January 12, 2006
Packin List
wat should i bring along to Newcastle, Australia man?i hav absoluteli no idea...clothing wise, winterwear, outdoor wear, casual, dress wear, underwear, socks, PT attire n trunks..
then there's electronic equipment..laptop, portable hard disk, digital camera, mayb my handspring(another century i noe) n my mp3 n CD players..i do hope i can get on msn regularli down under..
shoes , sandals, stationery, miscellanous other items...e packin will realli be a headache..at least travellin by SIA allows a baggage allowance of 30 kg so dat helps..my dad will be followin mi for e 1st few days to settle mi in which offers some relief before i'm gonna face it alone..
i think it'll still b e case where i wake up 1 mornin n discovr i'm there in e thick of it n up to ma neck n bareli survivin...one song keeps playin in ma mind these daez...runaway train..runaway train never goin back...fears b4 the Big 1 i guess..like e jitters a horse gets b4 a race prob..not dat i'm a horse or stud mind u...
its times like dis i wonder if i made e rite decision..all e reasons r still fresh in ma mind but i just can't shake off dat "wat if" feelin we all get..alternativ history alwaez creeps in...wat if Singapore had not separated frm Malaysia? wat if Britain had not lost Malaya? wat if i had not failed ma a's once? wat if i'd gone to SAJC to b with 'der family' as i still consider it? too many wat ifs...too littl time n too many memories..
i guess its not just e physical packin we gotta handle when we leav a place or close a chaptr on our lives in order to open a new one..we oso hav to pack away some memories, experiences n unfulfilled hopes or dreams..to b left untouched till our return..then we open them like a time capsule to savour, relish n re-appraise them frm a different light..n with e mellowin dat comes with time..
they r never forgotten though..as Neil Gaiman says in his book American Gods,"things wait here, but they will wait until you return"..till then i'll place these memories n experiences in cryogenic suspended animation..here's to foreign travels n eventual homecomings..Cheers!
then there's electronic equipment..laptop, portable hard disk, digital camera, mayb my handspring(another century i noe) n my mp3 n CD players..i do hope i can get on msn regularli down under..
shoes , sandals, stationery, miscellanous other items...e packin will realli be a headache..at least travellin by SIA allows a baggage allowance of 30 kg so dat helps..my dad will be followin mi for e 1st few days to settle mi in which offers some relief before i'm gonna face it alone..
i think it'll still b e case where i wake up 1 mornin n discovr i'm there in e thick of it n up to ma neck n bareli survivin...one song keeps playin in ma mind these daez...runaway train..runaway train never goin back...fears b4 the Big 1 i guess..like e jitters a horse gets b4 a race prob..not dat i'm a horse or stud mind u...
its times like dis i wonder if i made e rite decision..all e reasons r still fresh in ma mind but i just can't shake off dat "wat if" feelin we all get..alternativ history alwaez creeps in...wat if Singapore had not separated frm Malaysia? wat if Britain had not lost Malaya? wat if i had not failed ma a's once? wat if i'd gone to SAJC to b with 'der family' as i still consider it? too many wat ifs...too littl time n too many memories..
i guess its not just e physical packin we gotta handle when we leav a place or close a chaptr on our lives in order to open a new one..we oso hav to pack away some memories, experiences n unfulfilled hopes or dreams..to b left untouched till our return..then we open them like a time capsule to savour, relish n re-appraise them frm a different light..n with e mellowin dat comes with time..
they r never forgotten though..as Neil Gaiman says in his book American Gods,"things wait here, but they will wait until you return"..till then i'll place these memories n experiences in cryogenic suspended animation..here's to foreign travels n eventual homecomings..Cheers!
Monday, January 09, 2006
Therapeutic Talks n Late Nites
e topic for e nite is talk therapy n how it helps get certain poisons outta ones' body..u noe, sometimes human beins need someone to talk to bout their trials n difficulties n bloggin just isn't enuff..we need real human ears n real human interactive responses..mayb someday they'll invent a programme dat generates randomn responses via computer algorithm dat can comfort people under stress or difficulty..but till then..we all still need a listenin ear..
i had a good talk with some buddies over e weekend bout our individual difficulties, problems n pressures faced in camp n life..they're my secondary sch frens who've been with mi for some time n the few whom i talk to regardin my probs...we make it a point to meet regularly for such 'therapy', havin realised earli on wat value dis has..
it started with one of our no, havin difficulties at 1 point in his sec sch life dat led him to drop everythin n 'stone' out at home..a group o' us gathered ourselves n went to hav a chat with him..i guess it took off from there n we had our 1st self-help, talk-therapy group of St Andrews Sch..its great to hav pple u get along with to talk to comfortably bout probs n deep issues as well as insecurities..gal probs, family probs, army probs n financial probs plus hopes, dreams, aspirations n our failures...
when i failed my a-levels 1st time, i talked to these buds...n felt empowered to try again..when i had probs with gals they advised dat gals r not dat important a part of life..how we relate to other pple regardless of sex is more substantial..n when i told them of failed relationshps they told mi dat lovin someone does not mean you have to be with them..settin them free is a greater test of love...n when they are goin thru difficulty in ns, i advise them to hav e mentality,"this too shall pass" n e sun will rise tomorrow as it alwaez does..to e guy who wanted to go into guitar full time after gettin his biz degree at smu we told him to start seriousli lookin for openins n lookin at e market now..thank God he's oso got a good lady lovin him selflessly.. n to e guy who has dis thing on a lesbian..well, i still dun think it'll work out bro..its a 2 way street..they advise n encourage mi n i counsel n support them...
i hav groups of frens for spiritual supp n prayer, groups for hard-nosed realist advice like these n others for shoppin n movie catchin...i treasure them all as my best frens...but e nitez spent talkin bout life n takin stock of e past hav realli been most meaningful to mi..esp as i head off to e University of Newcastle in Australia in Feb..i'm gonna miss u guys man..plus e talks n encouragement u gav mi..like Gabriel oredi at Cambridge, i'll keep in touch n keep bloggin overseas..n we'll meet when i'm back i promise..
so then, if u're a guy(or gal) needin help n advice or prayer, y dun u find a group o' dudes(or chicks; for gals) u can relate to n hang out with for dat background support n soundin out on a regular basis...n do some real serious talkin till e wee hours o' e mornin?
i had a good talk with some buddies over e weekend bout our individual difficulties, problems n pressures faced in camp n life..they're my secondary sch frens who've been with mi for some time n the few whom i talk to regardin my probs...we make it a point to meet regularly for such 'therapy', havin realised earli on wat value dis has..
it started with one of our no, havin difficulties at 1 point in his sec sch life dat led him to drop everythin n 'stone' out at home..a group o' us gathered ourselves n went to hav a chat with him..i guess it took off from there n we had our 1st self-help, talk-therapy group of St Andrews Sch..its great to hav pple u get along with to talk to comfortably bout probs n deep issues as well as insecurities..gal probs, family probs, army probs n financial probs plus hopes, dreams, aspirations n our failures...
when i failed my a-levels 1st time, i talked to these buds...n felt empowered to try again..when i had probs with gals they advised dat gals r not dat important a part of life..how we relate to other pple regardless of sex is more substantial..n when i told them of failed relationshps they told mi dat lovin someone does not mean you have to be with them..settin them free is a greater test of love...n when they are goin thru difficulty in ns, i advise them to hav e mentality,"this too shall pass" n e sun will rise tomorrow as it alwaez does..to e guy who wanted to go into guitar full time after gettin his biz degree at smu we told him to start seriousli lookin for openins n lookin at e market now..thank God he's oso got a good lady lovin him selflessly.. n to e guy who has dis thing on a lesbian..well, i still dun think it'll work out bro..its a 2 way street..they advise n encourage mi n i counsel n support them...
i hav groups of frens for spiritual supp n prayer, groups for hard-nosed realist advice like these n others for shoppin n movie catchin...i treasure them all as my best frens...but e nitez spent talkin bout life n takin stock of e past hav realli been most meaningful to mi..esp as i head off to e University of Newcastle in Australia in Feb..i'm gonna miss u guys man..plus e talks n encouragement u gav mi..like Gabriel oredi at Cambridge, i'll keep in touch n keep bloggin overseas..n we'll meet when i'm back i promise..
so then, if u're a guy(or gal) needin help n advice or prayer, y dun u find a group o' dudes(or chicks; for gals) u can relate to n hang out with for dat background support n soundin out on a regular basis...n do some real serious talkin till e wee hours o' e mornin?
Saturday, January 07, 2006
Only the Ready Die (ORD for short)
when i finalli hav e time to get down to serious bloggin aftr e hectic new yr n christmas break, i find dat i'm a new man with a different social status...i hav been officialli a civilian aftr losin my freedom (for 2 years n 4 months in e military) since 24th dec..
i feel good enuff to write a long blog on dis...please bear with mi my pre-ord frens n bros..but let mi tell u dat when my close frens ord'd..dey sms'ed mi in e middle of my outfield trainin..how much worse does it get?i realli went into a downward spin emotionally for e remainder of e day aftr receivin 15 to 20 "ORD loh" messages in e space of half an hour..
e gals will never understand..sometimes i couldn't stand their plattitudes..n i felt so often like tellin em to not display their ignorance bout things they knew nuttin of..esp those who broke up with my gd frens in e army n shortly started goin steady with other guys in uni..we've been at e bottom of e enotional dustbin boyz..fear nothin else anymore..e darktime is almost ovr my army mates..now "those who go down on their bellies to eat the dust of the earth shall arise to rule e universe" as Frank Herbert says in his book Dune..may all e nascent energies n latent passions of e oppressed be unleashed as in e days of Marx n Engels..let e world be engulfed in blood n fire once more..
when u ord..its just anothr day..anti-climatic rite?dats wat i tot oso..but e realisation dat somethin has changed comes to mind gradualli..no worries bout when to go back to camp..free weekends (esp Sundays) every week, bein abl to sleep, wake n eat as n when one pleases..n best of all..noe-in for once dat no one realli gives a dam* when u screw up somethin..freedom can be scary sometimes..there hav been nites i dreamt i was still back in e trenches diggin n waitin for dawn with its inevitable assault to arrive..i reach for my rifle by my side only to find it gone n i'm all alone..holdin e line..i wake in cold sweat, a silent scream echoin in my head..leave no man behind?!..n i'm starin at e bright sunlight in an empty bedroom..without meanin or purpose..ORD loh??
some of my frens hav had such trouble findin jobs post-national service except low-payin dead-end types like shop assistants..its hard to go back to e workin world aftr 2 odd years..we're rust buckets n inexperienced..havin had littl opp to put wat we learned in jc or poly to use in ns..dats y i personalli feel studyin for a while is better aftr leavin e army..howeva, all of us(commandrs at least) r full of fight..in e tradition of e fightin man who's had great odds stacked against him..we want to meet life's challenges head-on w/o shirkin..2 years is enuff time wasted..e time of youthful games n fun is past, e time of hard-nosed realism is at hand...
in conclusion, i would like to dedicate dis post to e memory n lives of fighters n soldiers who i esteem more highly than e 'toy' generals in e SAF..men like Moshe Dayan, Yitzhak Rabin, Ariel Sharon n women like Golda Meir n formr US Supreme Court Judge Sarah Day O'Connor.. Out. Run. Destiny...ORD loh
i feel good enuff to write a long blog on dis...please bear with mi my pre-ord frens n bros..but let mi tell u dat when my close frens ord'd..dey sms'ed mi in e middle of my outfield trainin..how much worse does it get?i realli went into a downward spin emotionally for e remainder of e day aftr receivin 15 to 20 "ORD loh" messages in e space of half an hour..
e gals will never understand..sometimes i couldn't stand their plattitudes..n i felt so often like tellin em to not display their ignorance bout things they knew nuttin of..esp those who broke up with my gd frens in e army n shortly started goin steady with other guys in uni..we've been at e bottom of e enotional dustbin boyz..fear nothin else anymore..e darktime is almost ovr my army mates..now "those who go down on their bellies to eat the dust of the earth shall arise to rule e universe" as Frank Herbert says in his book Dune..may all e nascent energies n latent passions of e oppressed be unleashed as in e days of Marx n Engels..let e world be engulfed in blood n fire once more..
when u ord..its just anothr day..anti-climatic rite?dats wat i tot oso..but e realisation dat somethin has changed comes to mind gradualli..no worries bout when to go back to camp..free weekends (esp Sundays) every week, bein abl to sleep, wake n eat as n when one pleases..n best of all..noe-in for once dat no one realli gives a dam* when u screw up somethin..freedom can be scary sometimes..there hav been nites i dreamt i was still back in e trenches diggin n waitin for dawn with its inevitable assault to arrive..i reach for my rifle by my side only to find it gone n i'm all alone..holdin e line..i wake in cold sweat, a silent scream echoin in my head..leave no man behind?!..n i'm starin at e bright sunlight in an empty bedroom..without meanin or purpose..ORD loh??
some of my frens hav had such trouble findin jobs post-national service except low-payin dead-end types like shop assistants..its hard to go back to e workin world aftr 2 odd years..we're rust buckets n inexperienced..havin had littl opp to put wat we learned in jc or poly to use in ns..dats y i personalli feel studyin for a while is better aftr leavin e army..howeva, all of us(commandrs at least) r full of fight..in e tradition of e fightin man who's had great odds stacked against him..we want to meet life's challenges head-on w/o shirkin..2 years is enuff time wasted..e time of youthful games n fun is past, e time of hard-nosed realism is at hand...
in conclusion, i would like to dedicate dis post to e memory n lives of fighters n soldiers who i esteem more highly than e 'toy' generals in e SAF..men like Moshe Dayan, Yitzhak Rabin, Ariel Sharon n women like Golda Meir n formr US Supreme Court Judge Sarah Day O'Connor.. Out. Run. Destiny...ORD loh
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