Change and Sian-ness

This photo says so much about my mood at the time..around Day 14 of my Japan mission trip last year..actually i think it says so much about everyone of the team at the time..

Ian has been talking a lot about change on his blog and i feel that it is an issue that does tug at my own heartstrings this year. I do believe that certain aspects of my character have changed significantly from last year while other aspects have been, shall we say, re-defined. Take for instance my left wing radicalism. That has mellowed so much. And my skepticism? i think that this year it isn't the in your face variety that it was before..i'm still deeply skeptical of people's motives and hidden agendas..but i believe i would say that i try not to be so hasty to judge..

it could simply be that i'm sian aka tired as in the Japan Mission pic and i'm growing out of my youthful "i can change the world" idealism..or just simply that being more engaged with individuals around me and being more in tune with their personal stories has made me a more practical human being who is much more useful to God than an idealistic hothead..or on a slightly less optimistic note, i'm more selfish in protecting myself by saying polite and moderate things rather than stuff that could ruin my friendships..

Just a few nites back i was at Joyce's place for some dinner and to check out her cool new fish tank (which i must say is pretty impressive but lacks a piranha) and ended up playing Wii with Jeram, Brendan, Joyce and Brandon..we all took turns and Josephine, Serene and Roger Jonas were up next..and i enjoyed it completely..and i felt that i was really engaging with true friends and caring for them..i wouldnt have been so at ease a year back probably as i'd have been more uptight. Its liberating really, being more laidback and sporting.

Its great to change to be a more easy going person i think..you noe, the next time you're over at Barahineban, give me a buzz or drop by my room and say hi..maybe we could have a beer and a nice chat about anything from uni work to life, God and the nature of the universe...except when i'm stressed by architecture maybe..*laughz*