For Man is Born to Trouble...

one by one they come..like vultures to a carcass...or ravens to scraps of food..troubles aplenty..i really feel like a roller-coaster ride sometimes..

while yesterday's post ended on a positive note (mostly) i found out dat i had bigger troubles..not exactly troubles but more mishaps n worries..Mum messaged from s'pore in e middle o' e nite 2 say left artery clogged n goin for heart bypass tml..i was stunned..then at e bottom o' e message i saw dat it had been forwarded by my ncle Raymond who was e 1 havin e bypass...not my mum..

no less stunned n more worried, i called home (Praise God for International Calling Cards)..he'd complained of chest spasms for a week n checked himself into hospital yesterday mornin n was promptly scheduled for Major arterial heart bypass e next mornin..dis is an ex-army colonel we're talkin about who'd faced Indonesia in Konfrontasi n wasn't 1 to complain of pain even if he were havin his leg gnawed off by German Sheperds..n he'd checked himself in for 'chest pains'..i can't even begin 2 imagine e magnitude of those 'chest pains'...

we were close...its been said dat e fear one feels for his or her life when in danger cannot be compared to e fear one feels for the life of one's loved ones in their danger, their trouble..dats how i've been feelin..especially alone here in a foreign land with family sick back home..one feels powerless to help..

some things r beyond our control i tell myself..dats e mature Christian adult response to have...not irrational fear n panic..by it still removes nothin of e stress n dis-stress one undergoes thru such an episode..wonder whether Job felt e same way when servant after servant came to bring him bad news bout his flocks, property, livestock n children...in good (bad actually) succession...talk about negative information cascades in The Wisdom Of Crowds..oh well, i do pray it gets better after its gotten worse..but how much worse can it go? he should be goin into e theatre (interestin name for morbid place wouldn't u agree) in 2 hours as i write dis post..God, i need to pray n do some fastin..