i just handed in my portfolio..almost complete though 1 tutorial is undone..dis was a rush job i tell ya..n i promised God it'd be e last last-minute piece of work i hand in..e others were not..serious..i was workin on them from e 1st to last minutes..but i guess i neglected n underestimated dis piece of crap..never again man..must pray i dun ever overlook any work again..no more man..i stand chastised n corrected..
thinkin of Band of Brothers Episode 6 or 7 again..with e Company Sergeant Major tellin his story..dats a real CSM i tell ya..not like e play-act 1s we hav back home in e SAF..
Carwood Lipton i still remembr his name..1st Sergeant Lipton.."we cleared e woods north of Foie n e woods south of Foie.. the road was now open for us to advance on Foie itself..but in my opinion we were still not ready..Easy Company still had no combat leader..e post of Company CO was filled by a ghost who was just not there..in mind, body or spirit.."
we all wish sometime or other dat we had betta leaders or dat we were betta leaders..leaders give us a rock of refuge n stability(but its all illusory)..but in life we make do with e leaders we hav, not e leaders we want or hope to be..
i say leadershp is both proved n developed..in e dark days between dawn n dusk..in e quiet hours where e living (n e sane) turn away or submit, e leader is born n his mantle is proven by fire..Thomas Paine said in e moments of terror, true courage comes forth n e testin of the sunshine patriot n weekend soldier proves their value..
to e guys i say, 1 day we all will be called upon to lead in some capacity..dun shirk man..n dun throw out arrows at ur frens who hav had more guts to serve in leadership than u n den dodge behind e mask of annonimity..
i dun wanna lead..just make e most of my time here on Earth..cos i've been on borrowed time since e 2nd a's..haha..nonsense i noe..anywae..thank God my stuff's done this week
i'm a great fan of the middle-eastern conflicts n conflagrations involvin Israel...in 1982 when Yitzhak Rabin was faced with a crisis of tremendous proportions durin e Yom Kippur assault on Israel, he famousli told Radio Israel n e world,"we shall not break.." dis was a gifted general n born leader but no Moshe Dayan with characteristic debonair charm n elegance..he came out of dat crisis transformed n renewed..takin Israel into a new era of negotiations..
i'm facin my own Yom Kipur with a portfolio submission in under 7 hours n still plenty to go..i was close to breakin point dis mornin..until Rabin's words came to mind..we shall not break..if u're havin trouble today, dis is wat i'll say to u..we shall not break..
brothers in e army, dun break..in smu, nus, ntu..dun break..in newcastle, Focus frens n others..dun break..we may bend in e wind like e willow, but we dun give up n break..
dun get mi wrong, i am worn down n worn out by attrition..n i'm on e razor edge, but its my belief dat e Powers dat be will not let mi suffer catastrophic failure like cast iron when dropped..emotionally, physically, spiritualli n mentalli...killing giants is wat every1 is called upon 2 do at least once in his or her lifetime..Goliath must fall..because a bigger Boss (who doesn't like bein challenged on his turf) stands behind David..i'm ramblin..pray forgive..
i've been thinkin some othr things thru..i learnt e value of timin some time ago..some things r not in God's will..some are..time reveals which is which..i've learnt 2 let go n retain only deep care n concern for those who r dear 2 mi..happiness is alwaez wat i want for them..its been said e mark of maturity is thinkin of others b4 1self in any relationshp /frenship..like Noah, we need to release our hopes..e dove came back with dat olive branch but not e raven..onli by releasin can we noe wat e ravens n doves are..(dis is incidentalli e workin of a crazed n sleep-depraved mind)..i'll do dis for e good of all parties n 2 put dat smile on Der Boss' face..so remain 3,faith, hope n love..but e greatest of these is...love..n wat is love? its not self-centred, or conceited...blah blah blah..cheers
ARGHHHHH! xSmokingx kills! ur xsmokingx can harm others...x--replace with Drafting..Tsang, i noe wat u mean when u posted dat article on our whole group's blog last year...
i've been at it for 2 weeks n still i need to struggle for submissions tml...n on Fri..n next fri..exams for u SMU biz guys is only a few times a sem..its ongoin involvement for mi lor...talk about plungin e dagger in n twistin it..
want to noe wat we idiots do here?? i designed a Dog Kennel n am drawin farm buildins for milkin cows now..den on fri i hand in neo-D-n-T isometric n orthographic drawings..den next fri i got to design a retainin wall..n on Wednesday i'll be gettin my 1st pure archi design project..Interior Design of 2 Rooms in a house...complete design with a model to submit plus archi plans..after Easter i hav a Building Survey Report to submit with alternative features for upgrades to dat building..
My 1st graded piece of work was at e beach buildin a sandwall with a trench..Exercise Nutcracker here i go again..i only lacked a dawn assault to hav a wonderful finale to dat event man..
i like architecture man but well, e goin is hard..my personal deadline to finish b4 1 am is realli goin up in flames now man..gtg..see ya ladies n gents..
Richard Lin Rizhi! Ni zhe ge lao **** ***! N* B** C*** B**! ****************** (the rest of this monologue has been censored for e benefit of e audience)
Even Kian can pick up my call frm overseas inspite of bein so busy in NUS n with his prospective gal-fren..wats ur excuse?? if he loses his bachelorhood, i want 2 hear it 1st from u lor..or if e b**** turns out 2 be a player who breaks his heart..i also want to hear it 1st frm u lor..go out with him more lei..dun let e gal take all his time..dun loose our fren to a za bor we both dun noe!!Outflank n conduct mounted assault bro..i tell u why off-line..(i sure hope kian doesn't show dis 2 e gal..sorry *da sao*)
On another note, i do believe i noe wat area of ministry God has for mi here in Australia..back home it was with e youth n worship team..here it seems dat He's leadin mi into counsellin..ironic huh? i'm still prayin bout it for Lent n Easter but its just seems to be poetic justice dat God would use pple who've been most hurt n disappointed by Christians to talk to n encourage Christians who hav been hurt most..its part of e healin process..blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted...by whom dun u wonder? by those who've mourned b4? dats my hypothesis at least..
alrite..i've got 2 submissions dis week..lotsa draftin to do n dun expect to sleep much 2nite..its been said dat architects (n architectural students by extension) live, work, eat n f*** in the studio..i understand y totalli...just hope dat when i'm drawin halfway, stuff dat i dun wanna think about does NOT come to my mind..den i'm screwed for an hour at least n few things get done while i pray n listen to worship songs/take a walk 2 get off it..
To end on an interestin note..John Bunyan of The Pilgrim's Progress fame alwaez said dat when he was imprisoned for his faith,it was not his enemies who discouraged him most..it was when his FRENS came over to ask him to think of his family, life n future n thus give up the work of God..den he would really go into severe depression till God refreshed him..thanks ladies n gents..i dun need enemies...ok, kiddin la..thanks for bein here for mi..hav a good day!!
its some small comfort n fillip 2 my morale dat i scored ok for my 1st real assignment at uni..in dark hours we all need encouragement they say..
75% is not quite e high distinction i was expectin of myself but its somethin dat i believe is a start n which i will build on as a strong foundation..better build on gold n silver rather than hay n straw so e old proverb goes..its a good start (i'll give) but not 1 i'm extremely satisfied with..feel dat i pulled some wool over my lecturer's eyes dis time which i won't escape doin next time..it was above all God's grace which saw mi thru..was expectin a credit onli but aimin for a high D..thanks be to God then..
Uncle Raymond's outa critical condition now even though he had to go into e operatin theatre twice..e second time to stop bleedin in his heart..dat was some relief..he'll be outta action n in recovery for bout 6 months from Monday..he works himself too hard i alwaez tot n needs a good break..Mayb dat was e plan all e time..e gift of perspective...
Thanx Kumu for dat chat yesterday nite..i needed dat opinion n view..i noe wat 2 do n where to go frm here (i hope)..n guess wat e topic for church was 2day man? seein God's glory in our lives as we perservere in faith n hang on to Him..how about dat in e light of wat u told mi happened on e train dat previous week?n e worship centred round e phrase in a song, "Lord, show mi ur glory.."
oh n, its Lent..e season has started..those of us frm e SA who noe wat dis anglican (episcopal here) tradition means n see it in e light of e SAS revival of e 90s with new meanin will fulli appreciate its significance...
so then, we're in e run up 2 e Holy Week again..Palm Sunday, Ash Wednesday, Maundy Thursdae, Good Fridae, Limbo Saturday n Easter Sundae..down to e Via Dolorosa n beyond e Tomb..Preparations hav begun..
one by one they come..like vultures to a carcass...or ravens to scraps of food..troubles aplenty..i really feel like a roller-coaster ride sometimes..
while yesterday's post ended on a positive note (mostly) i found out dat i had bigger troubles..not exactly troubles but more mishaps n worries..Mum messaged from s'pore in e middle o' e nite 2 say left artery clogged n goin for heart bypass tml..i was stunned..then at e bottom o' e message i saw dat it had been forwarded by my ncle Raymond who was e 1 havin e bypass...not my mum..
no less stunned n more worried, i called home (Praise God for International Calling Cards)..he'd complained of chest spasms for a week n checked himself into hospital yesterday mornin n was promptly scheduled for Major arterial heart bypass e next mornin..dis is an ex-army colonel we're talkin about who'd faced Indonesia in Konfrontasi n wasn't 1 to complain of pain even if he were havin his leg gnawed off by German Sheperds..n he'd checked himself in for 'chest pains'..i can't even begin 2 imagine e magnitude of those 'chest pains'...
we were close...its been said dat e fear one feels for his or her life when in danger cannot be compared to e fear one feels for the life of one's loved ones in their danger, their trouble..dats how i've been feelin..especially alone here in a foreign land with family sick back home..one feels powerless to help..
some things r beyond our control i tell myself..dats e mature Christian adult response to have...not irrational fear n panic..by it still removes nothin of e stress n dis-stress one undergoes thru such an episode..wonder whether Job felt e same way when servant after servant came to bring him bad news bout his flocks, property, livestock n children...in good (bad actually) succession...talk about negative information cascades in The Wisdom Of Crowds..oh well, i do pray it gets better after its gotten worse..but how much worse can it go? he should be goin into e theatre (interestin name for morbid place wouldn't u agree) in 2 hours as i write dis post..God, i need to pray n do some fastin..
I was a tracker once b4..a long time ago..i still love runnin n sprinting..though i'm way off form now..
i was watchin e live telecast of an episode of e Commonwealth games last nite on e telly tube...guess wat was plyin? Steeplechase..dis event realli brings out e best in atheletes..long-d runnin plus obstacles..includin a water-filled trench..atheletes realli need 2 measure their pace in dis event man..
how dis event got its quaint n archaic name is a strange footnote of history..apparently, in e late Victorian 1800s in England, burglars broke into houses via chimneys...cops would climb up onto roof-tops to wait for them to come out of the chimneys in e neighbourhood n catch them red-handed (with e loot)..well e burglars would run as soon as they caught sight of e cops on a nearby roof-top..n e cops would, needless 2 say, give chase..so began a chase dat traversed the tops of roofs of houses, courtyards, town halls n most often, culminate in e burglar slidin off e (STEEP) steeple of e local church n on to terra firma..n e cops were not usualli so bold to follow them down..runnin on roof-tops is no mean feat..n in 1900s Edwardian England, pple decided 2 make e steeplechase into a sport of (literalli) Olympic proportions..endurance, obstacle clearin speed n good footin were from e start essential pre-requisites of e sport...
so then, i was watchin Ugandan competitor Dorcas Itiuri (i guess dats how its spelt) runnin with e Australian atheletes close behind her..notabli Kim Rawlinson came close to overtakin her...n e Australian commentators were sayin how Uganda had never won a Gold at e Commonwealth Games in Track n Field..n how good n prepared Kim Rawlinson was..n at 1 lap, when Dorcas Itiuri was tirin visibly, they were crowin,"Looks like e Gold is goin to Australia after all..well Dorcas Was a tough competitor but it looks like Kim's got it made" or something to dat effect..with 2 laps to go still..
n then, e unthinkable happened in e 2nd last lap...Kim Rawlinson stumbled when clearin e hurdle (e cops would have gotten her in Victorian England)...a momentary blip but tired Dorcas slipped past..n e gap widened exponentially...n e Crowd roared...poor 3rd world Uganda received her 1st Gold in Track n Field at the Commonwealth Games in e most gruellin event...there's an old Arabic phrase for such a moment..Kull Wahad...I am profoundli stirred..
e world n human beings will alwaez say, "oh, u're not good enough..u dun hav it in u..u've had such a history of injury u're never comin back..blah, blah, blah.." i'm very fed up of their nonsense..but sometimes i actualli begin to believe them...u're not good enough for Christ or to be loved by anyone...then some1 like Dorcas Itiuri comes up n runs e race n makes a statement..."F* u!"...who r u pple to look down on us? God has not given up on us..who r u on even who am i to give up??
run i say, run like ur life depends on it..run like there's no tomorrow..run for everything dat should have been but was not..run for all dat God had for u but dat e world tries to deny u n mi...Run Free..Thank You Dorcas for dat lesson...
its when ur world falls apart for some reason dat u begin searchin for meanin outside urself n ur comfort zone...my world fell apart recently for several reasons n i've tried to dissect e anatomy of a world breakin apart..
Should we read a good book, listen to sad music or mope aroun n cry? we could indulge in drunken binge-in or stay stuck in our room all day..i've done all these b4 when my world fell apart in e past but they're all not very-good-solutions to relieve e pain..
of late, e 'tactic' i was led to try was to turn more to God in search of peace n meanin..dis came durin my times of prayer n Bible-readin when e storm arose..i decided (with God's grace) to give it up to Him n let Him be God of my life n situation..i den experienced a great awakenin i last felt at 13 in SAS...God is Not an emotional crutch in times of trouble dat many think is e case..dats why dey dun turn to Him..but its not true..He offers more den temporal help n emotional support..He truli heals n dats not wat many therapies or treatments can claim to have done..
so well, i learnt recently to focus my eyes on my Best Fren n Run e race..even to e ends of e earth..i guess we all need to re-order our priorities in life n return to wats truli mportant...for mi, i've got Someone who means nore to mi than any other...just like Aragon in Lord of the Rings who told Frodo, "i would have followed you to the very end..even into e fires of Mount Doom"...in Frenship faithfulness, in Victory magnanimity, in Defeat defiance n in Runnin, supreme focus
I experienced 1 of e lowest week of my life last week..so much so dat i actualli had to call up kian to complain bout stuff..n he in turn complained bout his life n problems..
e only redeemin grace was perhaps listenin to guest speaker Pastor Mario Pugue speak at church on 'Running the Race'..God does noe how 2 speak when n where we most need it..
there'll alwaez be problems in life n christians who hurt..a church dat is callous n bluntly insensitive..but now i noe i got Someone on my side..Look to Christ was the lesson i learned last weekend..all e time..
most of u frens, bros n sistas noe i'm realli distressed cos i dun normalli do sermons on my blog...but after last week, i feel i deserve 2 be a lil' preachy n not-too-subtle..
i got e rite priorities in ma life now i swear..for fear of God slappin mi awake again...n kian, we both betta think thru wats important to us in life at dis point..n e temptations dat may lead us individually to de-rail individual hopes n dreams..
I was at Mardi Gras on Sat down in Sydney...it was extremely interesting but also sadly distressing to see half-naked 50 year old women walking around on floats that screamed "Chingay!" but with all the gay and lesbian personnel involved with their "IKEA supports Homsexual Rights at Work" slogans. HAve u heard of this group called "gaycatholics australia" or "The Episcopal Church of New South Wales " supporting homosexual Christians? apparently gays and lesbians are also Christians n have been tryin to gain recognition from the church for some time.."Jesus loves Gays and Accepts them for Who They Are"....i dunno man..there's plenty of debate on homosexuality in the church n outside e church but little on e status of such christian she-brother/he-sister individuals..after that, i came back to University Life..Real Deal Boring..submissions this fri on (of all things) Dog Kennel Design...its not just e design but evrything from the choice of materials to the detailed structural supports for e walls n roof..then there was e site visit to Tocal Homestead to draw/sketch 'vernacular architecture' aka farm buildings with life sheep n cows..not 2 mention their sh*T! its very high-key n hands-on in Newcastle Architecture...no slack pace with many assignment deadlines on e same day but given out earlier /later..the learnin curve has been steep i tell ya..from simple elevation the 1st week to dog kennel design in week 2 n now Architectural Description and Analysis Drawings of farms in the 3rd..one day i'll get round 2 writtin bout just wat it is dat these dumb blokes called Architecture students do n why they're up so late every nite..i sorry to u guys if i've not been on msn much..e uni connection is atrocious n they seem to have banned msn on e network...ang mos...n then e assignment hav just kept comin n comin..i've been tryin to speak the 'architectural language' of trusses n arches n spaces...but am like e babe b4 'dada' comes rollin outta dat pie-hole in ma face...i'm still seein if June is open for mi 2 fly home for 5 weeks..unless there r assignment or SSA Newcastle(S'pore Students Association) wants to organise activities which i'll try helpin out at as a member...(they're darn pathetic here man)...at least FOCUS(Fellowship of Overseas Christian Uni Students) is not so screwed up..i miss Singapore, my frens n bros n prata,laksa,durian,hokkien mee, char kway teaow..u name it...
