Toilet Humour

Really, its funny wat a nuisance searchin for toilets can be sometimes...recountin an experience from last sunday i believe its ridiculous n perplexin how e search for a toilet can be when we most need it..

it so bluid-dy happened dat last sunday i knovked off duty as COS in camp n was headed for church service at 1030..now as it was still early when i got on e train, bein onli 0900..i decided to make a brief stop at Dhoby Ghaut to catch some breakfast n move out e poison in ma body(if u catch ma drift)

upon reachin e locale, e slight murmur in ma belly had become an inferno of pain ala chemotherapy..n so i made a beeline for dat John aka WC aka piss-station (army-speak)..onli to be confronted by a sweet, small, yellowish clapboard dat proclaimed with a loud voice,"i'm cleanin after u dumbos..get outta here b*tch!"

a so i did e nxt logical thing..went to find e toilet on e next storey..guess wat? by e same freak occurance dat makes men millionaires in a game of blackjack, it too was closed for cleanin..by e time i got to e 3rd floor toilet..i knew somethin was amiss...to guarantee banker always wins, e dice had been loaded..so to speak..all closed for cleanin by very-present studious cleanin aunties..

why? is there too much money to employ multiple toilet cleanin crews who can clean e loos at e same time? or simply dat management needed to conduct army-style stand-by-area inspections of all toilets before 1000 hrs? maybe the prime minister of timbuktu was comin to visit Plaza Sing n had a history of poor bladder control...n why clean all e toilets in e mornin before visitors came and not some e nite before n some e next mornin? wateva it is, e conclusion dat can be drawn best is dat toilet-cleanin in PS is neither scheduled very smartly nor scheduled very well, or dat it is followed so zealously n religiousli dat it can onli be done at a certain time, to e inconvenience of all others...

anyways, e end of e matter was dat i had to walk to Rendesvouz Hotel to use e bluid-dy toilet..in my weakened state due to e wrenchin spasms of tummy contractions (dat i swear would hav given mi a 6-pack set of abs if they persisted for a little longer)..dat was no small joke man...i guess e moral of e story is dat one should never assume SAF-style rhetorical stupidity is onli found in SAF camps..i found a neat parallel dat day...