Class Gathering

I think i will do a post on meeting up with ol' SA classmates b4 one on my recent trip to P.Aur where i got my Open Water Diving License..

wats the difference after several yrs when u meet ol classmates again in a settin dat we prob never had since b4 goin in2 army?

a bit awkward at 1st...but den when we start 2 eat n drink together, the ol frenship comes back..n considerin e fact dat the majority were ex-officers there n i'm the onli ex-specialist...a lot of specialist pride at stake...juz kiddin...but of course talk about the days in army training la...n we agree in principle dat the most dangerous man in the SAF is a YSL(young second lefttenant) with a map...

but now all grow up oredi...a lot of things seen from different perspectives...n some things i guess dun realli see the same way...after u spend time overseas, u do become a bit more careful n try 2 b discerning coz no one to look out for u...n begin 2 plan for future...in sg..watever it is...a lot of things can fall back on family...come back holiday relax a bit but also take up courses n prepare for nex sem...den yr end must find temp job in archi firm liao..on the ball a bit...can't relax at home too much..after ang mo classmate again overtake ...n they can b damn talented in archi dis kinda course one...wif all the drawing n writin...chinese ppls cannot win ang mo writin ang mo essay one i realise...

but i do miss my classmates n days in secondary sch...even Darrell whom i'm not so close to anymore...mayb Leonard (big mayb)...n i'm sad dat some of them went in2 things like MLM n allowed it to shang gan ching...but i'll still treat them as frens...

oh...today an interestin thing happened...some one from 46 called n say 1206 last time never process..so now must go down to cmpb n pay...2 years after ORD...n it was dis new RQ...$13.57...like dat also can ah? SINGAPORE BOH CHENG HU LIAO LOH!! must b now got LRI now dats why need dis kind of bao sua bao hi, bao ka cheng min kia...CCB..KNLBPCB.....ok...need 2 stop...shall relate diving experiences again..

some Startling Realisations

:Mood Todae (left)

u noe...on the eve of the eve i depart for home for the holidays, i make a few startling realisations..

God how i miss my Singlish n Singlish roots n accent...was watchin Just Follow Law after all those horrid submissions yesterday nite n i realised wat a wonderful relief it is to see pple who think like mi n speak like mi n dun look at mi like some weird alien..u noe, just a short while back i was tryin to explain to an australian caucasian classmate of mine wat Singapore was like...n i realised that we're quite unique...capitalist n modern like Hong Kong...yet speakin a rich pseudo-English language called Singlish..like those in the Carribean who hav a tendency to swing left politicalli...

from a purely historical perspective (n listen here Johnnie Choong) we're very much like the satellite kingdoms that flourished in the wake of the collapse of the Eastern Roman Empire or Byzantine...first there was Niccaea n later Russia, Bulgaria and other Slav states...n were in turn, influenced by other cultures as Byzantine influence faded...juz look at Vietnam n Cambodia...arisin from the decay of traditional China n the rise of communist China...Singapore could also b said to have arisen from the decay of pre-modern China and to some extent, pre-colonial India..n as those traditional influences faded away, we looked to the capitalist West...no class struggle n no money comin in until much later...we are a society in search of direction at heart...its not money dat drives us...but a search for identity...just look at the Spirit of popular Singaporean films..search for meaning n identity? of course...while i hav Socialist tendencies...i am not socialist n i generally reject the traditional socialist view of history n society..

so yeah, we're a hodge-podge of different cultures searchin for a n unique identity...dats wat i told my classmate...pple n ideas meet in Singapore...if u aren't open to new ideas den dun come to Singapore..if u think dat e world is onli as large as ur little World-Vision donation each month..well, think again..juz as we shd b open to Australian humanitarianism n civic responsibility n national pride...u also shd b open to our more 'restrictive' way of doing things n the fact that we do indeed respect our leaders n would never want 2 see them carricatured like John Howard even if we had all the freedom to do so in the world..at least we dun shoot our opposition in Singapore...

i realised howevr, also dat Singaporeans r juz too materialistic n ambition-driven...n i dun agree with dat n all the associated elitism n cronyism..yes, i dare call it dat...CRONYISM..n if some silly blog-reader wants to post some lame messages defendin her world-view like on someone else's blog some time ago n be all rude n insultin...its time to call on certain forces...here are where my Socialist tendencies come in realli handy..when one day, a new, Social Conservative government arises dat protects the interests of the Singaporean man-in-the-street n small business...n works to tear down the structures of elitism in Singapore..which contribute nothin...those dat do might receive some negotiated settlement...dats politics after all..den u shd fear...very much indeed...n dat is a solemn promise n 24 K guarantee...

oh, Guevarra does live...believe it...

How i learnt Confidence

i sometimes hate these assignments...u finish dem n realise dat others alwaez do so much better...n u go away feelin down..but den...i realised thru 1 particularli bad assignment grade dis year dat if u dun reach the bottom n noe wat its realli like...u won't think of gettin better..at the bottom, there's no where to go but up...n dat galvanised mi...

dis reminds mi of one of Jono's grandfather stories...i remember Staff Vincent at AETC sayin to us when he was givin out extra duties to some fellow trainees dat the purpose of extra duty durin trainin is so dat when u become a full-fledged specialist u become numb to it n when a Master Warrant or Senior Warrant Officer like AE's Lao Chek makes u sign 7 for some stupid infraction, u can shout loud loud, Thank You Sir! Staff Vincent was one of those old-timers who was strict yet fun...Engineers got ISO for trainin system but in Armoured Engineers, onli got i A**h*le...wat Welfare for soldiers?! Welfare is tough training..so wartime got to lay minefields under fire not as scary as trainin kena k*n by Instructors...we loved him for it nevertheless..

n also Mr Ng in 46 SAR...who used to share cigarettes wif members of the 'OK' group of specialists which i was part of..kena extra or regimental duty on weekends by CSM? nevermind...join mi in the armskote..after finish we smoke together..n i'll never forget e phrase he shared wif mi dat helped mi decide to study overseas...Jonathan, it doesn't matter where u're from..wat race or language or religion or nationality..if u're a mother-f**ing c*nt or dick, u're a mother-f**ing c*nt or dick regardless..they're everywhere..his gung-ho, devil-may-care-but-i-sure-as f*ck-don't attitude broke many mental barriers n psychological chains for mi..

dats how i learnt confidence..e system alwaez is a mother-f**in c*nt wherever u go..whether in Singapore or Australia..but even as we trust God...we need to fight back ...C*** B**s are there onli to b f*cked as a very knowledgeable officer once said...so start doing ur job...

Isaiah

:Mood Todae (on Left)

Many layered...dats the first lesson i re-learnt as Matt n myself began to go thru the Book of Isaiah...the first time i read dat seminal book was when i was in sec 3...goin thru (not menopause dun worry) O.T familiarisation studies...

a simple chapter can hav an impact on so many different areas of life..judgement n salvation can refer to Israel den, can refer to the World today as it reaches the end of days...can refer to repentance n reconciliation to God thru Christ...n of course unltimately to Jesus Christ...in whom God's ultimate Judgement fell n thru whom is the Ultimate Salvation...n of course..for those of us with socialist tendencies...i dare say it has some bearin on social injustice, privilege n the down-trodden...but onli some n through many degrees of removal..

the image of the Suffering Servant of course, is the highlight of any readin of Isaiah..who is the Suffering Servant? Is it Israel, human society or Jesus? on several levels, one can see that it begins with Israel n den Israel can't fulfill dis n we go on 2 Jesus Christ who is fully God's Servant n n Suffers the most for sins..

a fly-thru of Isaiah is happenin at present n it really is a micro-cosm of the Bible..in whole it shows wat the message of the Bible is about...Judgement n Salvation, Deliverance and the Ultimate Saviour who's dis superhuman figure dats is revealed in the NT to be God's Son Jesus..

e most interestin verse so far has been..Here am i, and the children God has given mi...Isa. 8:18...compare the context n useage of dis wif Heb.2:13...den onli can one undestand the richness, complexity n multi-layerin of the Bible n Isaiah...

A Catalogue of Dark Creatures

:Mood Todae (on Left)

Growing up, i encountered many things as a Pastor's son...such as, the hypocrisy of certain Christian types...the superficiality of Christian frens and the total misunderstandin of Christian leaders n mentors who were supposed to b Understandin...

In my adolescent years...i came across the Christian intellectuals n True Believers...like CS Lewis, Tolstoy, Doestoyevsky, Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Ni Toh Shen, Watchman Nee...n some of the radicalisin, dark forces that introduced the Left to mi...i realised wat it was dat many Christians had lacked...a social conscience n a heart..n dark forces impacted my life in JC n the army as well...n it was those same dark forces that God allowed to throw off the yoke of superficial materialism, consumerism n self-servin self-worship...

One of the catch phrases of dis Conservative, Evangelical/Pentecostal Christianity dat was paradoxicalli tempered by Socialist sentiments (n which made such a huge impact on mi) was...Ubi Lenin, Ibi Jerusalem...Where there is Lenin, there lies Jerusalem also....originalli the slogan of Liberation Theology which i dun believe in becos its unscriptural...i interpret it as God, salvation and the social dimension of Christianity dat cares for the sick n seeks to preach the Good News bout Christ 2 the world And performs miracles for the weak are inseparable...

today, the Full Christian Gospel with the Social Dimension n Conscience are a potent safeguard n weapon against the Prosperity Gospel tot by many..Against the love of Money n Power must be arrayed the Care for the Suffering and Lost n the Preachin of the Good Sheperd who is Our Healer...socialism against capitalism is so much more sublime these days...

Sorry seems to b the Hardest Word

need to say sorry to a few pple here...first, Kian n Richard, i din tell u guys the exact dates i'll b back..apologies...now u noe..lets plan that short few days getaway on some sunny tropical island far from everythin as brothers...the fellowship needs to b renewed..

to Little Miss BC, sorrie...shd not hav been so kaypo...i am amazed at the quality of ur sharin in cell n the level of maturity that u gals (inc mei mei)are capable of..its just uncommon at least from wat i've seen with other gals ur age i noe..dun b disturbed but let those lessons bring u thru e week k?

n to Melissa (who will never read dis cos we dun keep in touch anymore)...i'm sorry i was such a crap boyfren all those years back...was still not mature enough to understand wat a relationship involves and the committment it takes...n also that its not just emotions but a consious choice to love even inspite of the other's flaws n weaknesses...there were no real reasons why we got together but i had plenty of reasons to justify myself when it came to a slow slow death...n dat too was a sign of immaturity...n now the door has slammed shut...and will not be opened until The Keeper of the Heart who is My Author decrees it be open again...n i'm truly sorry that i gave my heart so easily n recklessli..the onli consolation i can give is that my heart is now under a New Administration...i will always remain sorry babe..

n now, its time to put on the black shroud again like the Gregorian monks...are you a pilgrim, brother?

Meeting of the Grand Council

The Grand Mohalata Council has met to give some consideration 2 the recent proposal by the Teacher to extend my stay in Australia for a year n spend 6 months doing paid work with the Fellowship...

The Ancients counsel a wait-n-see attitude and a gradual growin in2 the roles 2 b assumed n tasks to perform in such a postion...

The Dark Ones noe dat dis will mean increased fire from the Enemy n warn that the Dark Force dat guides one along the bitter windin road ensures that this task will b more difficult n more profoundli painful den anythin b4..n the full approval of the Master must b sought..Dark days lie ahead..

the Trainers say that dis is part of the trainin dat is neccessary for full equipment n eventual commissionin..n counsel that all prior skills b honed in preparation for active use in dis period..

the Faithful want to noe wat the Master's will n opinion is...n whether the time is finally at hand to right the wrongs done...but great guidance is neccessary..

the Moderns wonder if such an opportunity is a good thing or not...n wonder how is it dat there is such a great change in the Flux of time so suddenly...

the Perspectivites counsel that in the larger scheme of things dis may b a steppin stone but it is not 2 b taken so seriousli as to cause undue worry..

finalli, the Council votes in favour of preparation measures for dis undertakin n for additional fundin n prayer to be sought..the planning for dis eventuality begins...

Reflections on the storm

Storm passes over,
ships pummeled, broken, scattered
desolate scene-destruction,
from depths,
Dark Creatures rise...

God alone knows how i hate submission due times...that terrible last minute rush no matter how early one starts..whether u're a work perfectionist like mi or simpli bochup in life (also like mi)...even though i started my design right from the beginning and settled all concptual issues long before my due date which was more fortunate than some frens who were trying to figure out where goes where and what does what at literally the eleventh hour the night before submissions...n though i started everything for actual presentation drafting one week before..and it usually takes 3 days to draft and 3 to 3.5 days for model making which should have seen mi finish by 12 midnight thursday..stilli took longer than expected and finished at 5 pm yesterday..good thing lecturer gives grace period for those who travel far to get to uni...if not sure late liao...dis year work is worse man than last year's..

and when one looks at other people's submisions, one alwaez sees e amazing presentations they've done compared to one's own...and the great limitations, flaws and inadequacies in my own work...why does my work suck so much even after so much effort...my design really looks so shabby inspite of my placing of external verandahs, indoor courtyards, use of open plan design and lots of glass internally...i'm screwed dis time i feel...gonna get hammered..

n of course, the dudes i work with at studio all non-christian...when together workin they super ungodly one...they better not see dis man...great frens but different lifestyle i guess..n no time to pray n read bible...it realli feels awful man...n had 2 miss weekly mon nite Focus group and tues bible study...sianz..dats architecture for u...no life, no galfren, no money(we are usually poor pple n definitely the poorest professionals aroun), no time, no end...praise God i can say i still have Jesus n He's everything 2 mi n for mi..

200th Post!!!! Yay!! 2000 ga-zillion more great ones!

its post 200 liao!! yay! break out the Mt Pleasant Semilion 2002 Vintage n Lindemans Reserve '06 Verdelho...dis must b a long post..correction super long post to commemorate dis moment...

on the right is a picture i took up in the Lake Macquarie area last year...i call it Cathedral Fall but as all camera folks will noe...the colours are washed out and over-exposed...my framing of the picture is still too broad and not tight enough..and can't see texture of rocks clearly...aka focus is not good..n shutter speed could be faster to prevent falling water from lookin all streaked blurry..n film is better..comin home 2 get my 2nd hand Nikon film SLR (mayb F5?) wif dat 1000 dollars the govt has given mi for finishin NS...

oh, a word about wine... Mr P said that he found mi one of the few pple he noez here who collects wine just for its intrinsic appeal..n bothers keepin it for years n years to let it mature...not realli..Mr D in Sydney does dat even more fanatically..he's keepin a bottle of Gartlemann Red Wine (can't recall exact name) from 2002 for his graduation at e end of dis year..n he's been keepin dis since his first visit 2 e Hunter Valley...it'll b extremeli temptin 2 b lik a senior from newcastle who stayed on after finishin her degree 2 work in the Hunter Valley McGuigan's Estate serving wine...extremeli temptin if i had no committments n obligations back homee..

n yes, i will b returnin home aroun Jun 1-5 for bout a month till i get back just in time for Wintercon 07: The Cross of Christ...major topic siaa...den mayb after dat i'll go Melbourne in e 2nd week of uni..meet Mr C who i hope i can ask up from Tassie-mania...ohh..2dae i bought monographs on 3 more of my Modern Masters in architecture..Walter Gropius, Alvar Aalto n Mies Van der Rohe..53 Aussie D at e Archi bks exhibition in Studio..din hav enuff for Frank Lloyd Wright if not complete my series on Masters of Modern Movement liao..but Jean Prouve one also super interestin lei..cannot cannot must control n draw line somewhere..

hmmm, going for gym yesterday was a bittersweet experience (borrowin lil miss B.C's words) as i was mentionin 2 dao hui mei mei...super good workout n full of happy endorphins in my bloodstream when i started 2 cycle home...but nearin winter den rain n road was slippery...so nearin a hump on a steep down slope i tried 2 brake as usual...n no use..cannot bite properli...so i bcame super man for all of 2.5 seconds...n den stunned for 10 minutes as i was recoverin by e roadside...n when i was ready 2 go again..e bike out of alignment liao...handle bar out n brakes slip off wheel..must invest in some good disc brakes..n e best part was comin home n realisin dat i'd suffered so many cuts...n washin them n applyin iodine is an experience man..u can try when u need 2 wake up after sleepin 16 hours...n i was swearin e whole time...ex-army sergeant style...after dat i said sorry 2 God but realised..when i angry my first reaction is 2 let go one salvo of profanities...instead of thankin n praisin God dat nothin worse happened like mi breakin my neck or skull..i'm ashamed...mayb its coz i subconsiousli want somethin 2 blame or bcos i wanna relieve my frustration..but its a poor steam vent n copin mechanism..must pray n change..

in Focus Bible Study with Matt we finished book of 2 Peter n its dealin wif false prophets n end times n unbelief amongst Christians bout His 2nd comin n live for here n now onlii..scoffers they're called..n reminds mi a lot of certain prosperity gospel types whose character i juz must assasinate la..their god is their belly...as Jesus said of the Pharisees..they are empty tombs n white washed sepulchres..Paul says they have a form of godliness but deny its power..oh well, we're lookin 2 start the book of Isaiah next tues...Big Book mann...dat one realli need 2 read up for our discussion n sharin...

2dae will b headin 2 studio 2 get draftin done b4 major submissions next week...2 tests on Japanese (Mon n Tues) n 2 major projects due Thurs..so next time will prob b seen postin will b nex Fri..da zhang lo!!! but 2nite its chicken rice at Jinny's place...yeahh...n b4 dat Body Jam aerobics dance at Forum Gym..Doncha wish ur gal fren was hot...Ga-go make mi lose control..up in here up in here..Engine Engine no.9, on der New York transit line..Hey Bitch, get outta der wae..get outta der wae Bitch, get outta der wae..Hey shorty, get ya hands up, get ya hands up, get ya hands up..ok dats enuff..

O for a Thousand Tongues 2 Sing

:Mood Todae (on left)

before i begin, i've finalli put up my new c-box after i got rid of dat stoo-pid ol' tagboard last yr which was not workin anymore...n now its in anti-functionalist black which is my own fav colour...dun noe wat colour 2 choose? Black is ur best choice...

its been 2 daez of apparent divine counsel for mi...God does indeed speak most clearli thru His Word n e situations He puts us in...with due respect 2 my own pentecostal, tongue-speakin roots..

yesterdae, e message on whether we r thankful enough to God for the gift of Jesus was really cuttin...i do thank God for many things..but just for Jesus..for who He is n Wat He is to mi...dats somethin i've neglected of late...

n todae, durin our FOCUS bible study, e realisation dat speakin to God shd not b difficult or taken for granted but an everydae occurance was a reminder in e midst of much hard archi work...we shd not think dat we're too far from Him to talk or dat we're too sinful n forsaken to talk..He wants to hear us talk 2 Him...even if He does not promise to give us all we ask, everytime, for His own reasons (n every mature Christian noes this)...He promises us His peace n confidence that He is in charge..and for a Christian..dats enuff for mi..

oh, one of e things i missed so much from e time i was a pimpli, awkward n (dare-i-say-it) girl-crazy 16 year old in St Andrews was singin hymns every mornin for devotion...Beginnin n End of term Hymns, our ol' favourite The Old Rugged Cross,n e one whose title is lost 2 mi in e mists of time..."Many things about tomorrow, i dun seem to understand, but i noe who holds tomorrow n i noe who holds my hand"...recently in Unichurch, we've been singin a lot of ol hymns..n a large part of my life, neatly packed away in dusty white covers, locked away in e attics of my mind were unearthed..in science fiction talk..its like Stephen King's Dream Catchers where ol memories are replayed or in Battle Tech...where ol Brian Caches are de-mothballed..n it was all due to e Charles Wesley's Hymn of Epic Proportions...O for a Thouuuu-sand Tongues To Sing..

Warning: Dun try dis without proper Supervision..

Johnathan Choong...u've outdone urself again...dats e new International Newcastle Singaporeans committee for 2007...thanks to Johnnie's ridiculous photoshop skills...we're ready 2 direct n shoot George Lucas' newest epic..Star Wars VII: Got No Hope...where Aazac Skywalker n his beloved Paiid-leen, supported by stormtroopers sent by The Cat Designer n led by Captain Sozh-weii...try 2 take over Imperial City where evil Emperor Tee Kay the First is gougin himself silly wif crepes fed by e Imperial Guards Major Darrah Dun...but its not so easy coz Jibi Apprentice Bre N'da N & La Wren 'ce from the planet Engeenierz are there 2 ensure dat the manipulative John-Two-An Ch-zerozero-g, robot master controls e universe..

juz when u tot it could not b worse, Jibi exile Evelynn-wan-kenobi arrives 2 betray John-Two-An to Emperor Tee Kay the First...but she needs to get rid of Tee-rance Do Ta, The Designer's Spy sent to give false information 2 the Emperor..n den...suddenli...an alien fleet arrives to destroy the different factions n impose The Dark Creature's Order on e Universe... seen onli in Holographic Images....

Akan datang!! U think still got hope? Watch Star Wars VII: Got No Hope...out in cinemas soon

Zai Chu Fa

:Mood 2dae (on left)

an old Armour serviceman need some reminiscin at times.. i miss e smell of track grease n rusty metallic ordours from e time in an armour battalion servin as an armoured pioneer doin back-breakin combat engineer work..still miss e ol' gal 52 Bravo...my ol' M113 Ultra Armoured Personnel Carrier...she was old n creaky from 30 years service wif the SAF...but she carried mi thru n she was mine...

she brought mi n my section thru creeks n gullies..up hills n mount Sabena...all e wae 2 Sabena Point at e edge of e continent in Australia when i got lost n navigated our section 2 a "hollan" finish...

n paintball in e bush last sun brought it all back...even e obstacle construction in e bush..waitin 2 close an obstacle after e last frenli forces pass thru n delay e pursuin enemy...4 coils, 10 coils, mine clusters, U-coils, abattis...n clearin e same when on e advance ahead of our forces..lyin in wait prone in e bush..wif mozzies n ticks (those realli suck)...carbine in hand or SAR 21...combat ration packs on e ground(coz its usalli lunch time when we realli start e hard work)...

hidin in e bush u can't see anyone..so u juz listen..when sounds approach u challenge or fire..hold fire until e fellow i salmost above u den u challenge or fire...n SAW in front...for coverin fire if things get nasty..

dis is how we went thru n wat we learnt in Wallaby 06...oh n, if u go in2 a creek n are ambushed, u're screwed...big time...no wae u can charge at e ambushers..fire n movement was perfected n taken seriousli in e bush man..trust ur formations n trainin when u see nothin..n trust ur map n compass rather den ur memory when navigatin super long distances...yup paintball brought it all back..

paintball n stuff

had paintball on sunday wif e rest of e singaporean students in newcastle group...ended up wif many bruises n a few cuts..from smashin paintballs no doubt..so frens, if u've never tried paintball b4, do try it hor

n den we had all e preparations for e International Newcastle Singaporeans Inaugural Launch at nite ...n i realli like to thank all those who made it such a success...inc AAzac, Zhaowei, Eelen, Durah, Terence, Cat, Lawrence, Johnnie, Evelynn..a great comm and a great team to work wif..thanks...

e stingray was e highlight of e whole nite of course...eatin sambal stingray in ang mo land is realli like home away from home kind of feelin...e juicy, succulent, tender meat, drippin with sambal belacan n burnin on ur tongue n down e throat..all e wae in2 e belly on a cold autumn nite...fantastic man...Kudos to Aazac n Johnnie for thinkin dat up..n Zhaowei for gettin it from e Newcastle fish Market...

later, i'll talk bout e paintball action in e bush ala Ex Wallaby 2004..realli reminds mi of Shoalwater Bay training Area in Rockhampton, Queensland..n e Radio Singapore International report i'm gonna b sendin 2 News radio 93.8 bout dis activity...now for gym

A Time a Day For Piano

:Mood todae (on Left)

If u've ever read Dune its bout a lot of philosophical themes...like Frank Herbert(e author's) guide to life..like he says its not dat absolute power corrupts absoluteli...but rather, absolute power attracts the absoluteli corrupt..

One of e main themes is bout dis dude called Paul Atreides and his gift of seein the future..n all e pitfalls..n how he goes on to become Muad'dib, the Mahdi (prophet) of the wild Fremen peoples who conquer the universe in the name of their Zensunni religious gospel...dis was written 30 year before 9/11 mind u..Muad'dib's Great Jihad it was called...

but he was as much made by the events n circumstances as he shaped them...n den Frank Herbert goes on to talk about cause and effect and circumstances and their shapin...in a later book, after giving his life to the myth surroundin him because he could not stand it..he was brought back thousands of years later as a sorta clone whose memories were activated...n he grapples with conscience and transience...

my fren talked to mi on msn today bout e whole issue of transience and fragility of life and how its over all too soon and how we need to treasure those aroun us n live our lives with meanin...if we had onli one more day to live...would we still b chasin grandiose dreams of phantom futures or build more castles in the sky?or would we spend time wif those who matter to us n try to apologise for all e wrongs we've done n make peace...

"the flesh surrenders itself. eternity takes back its own. our bodies stirred these waters briefly, danced with a certain intoxication b4 the love of life and self, dealt with a few strange ideas, then submitted 2 e instruments of Time.What can we say of this? I occurred. I am not...yet, I occurred."

Paul Atreides the clone,
Memories of Muad'dib

A Picture A Day For Piano

"Is Love Born to us, as natural as part of our humanity as breathing n sleepin? Or is Love something we must create within ourselves?"


"Love is one of the most dangerous forces in the universe. Love weakens, while deceivin us into believing it is a good thing."

Which View? or just look at my cute sheep...

a Time of Emotion for Piano

:Mood Todae(on Top)

haiz.. was a nice evenin at Johnnie's place earlier..great drinks n food...loveli herbal chicken dat tasted as though all e nutrients had been leached in2 e soup which subsequentli boiled off...a bit dry la...sorrie Johno..but mai hiam bei pai as they say...good mixin n frenship all roun...

i think i can safeli say dat dis blog space is not bein watched by...lets just call 'em e Dunedain Rangers (ala Lord of the Rings) who would see wat evil stirs in Mordor..e Pass is clear for e Dark Armies to move thru in preparation for e Assault on Ithilien in Osgiliath (pardon mi all u Non-LOTR fans)...

dats y 2nite i can safeli bare some parts of my heart dat would normalli be kept off dis blog even...everytime a guy likes a girl it feels like Mission Impossible..at least for mi...there are indeed girls i do like...i better not say one or two or watever...n there hav been many failures in e past..some wif e gals i now talk abt...some wif other gals now out of e picture...y ah? i figure i must b extremeli unattractive or obnoxious dats y like dat..

more importantli, i dunno how 2 proceed or whether its even a good idea..i dunno whether e time is rite or wat e will of e Almighty is..n i dunno wat (lets just say their) reaction will b..n i dunno if i'll b up 2 e task of bein there for (them) even if i succeed...its tuff to noe wat 2 do...i noe wat i like..i noe i would like 2 b wif (them)..i noe i would giv my best...but i dunno wat shd b done or how 2 go abt doin it...prob e onli person who noes wat i'm realli talkin bout will b my good sista Jinny...no one else has any clear picture of wat i'm talkin bout..

i wish dat i had courage, wisdom, strength, charm, charisma...but i dun hav much...i think bout this person(s) a lot...n its difficult to juz carry on as if i'm unaffected by it..its distractin...i wish it were not, but it IS....God help mi...i swore b4 dat i dun wanna fail no more..nor do i wanna b such a fool in love...but i seem 2 b again n again...

i would realli giv a lot juz to noe wat dis person(s) thinks of mi..n whether (they) think its possible for us...hav u ever ever been in such a conundrum b4?

even if i knew {wat this person(s) tot n wat i shd do}, it would still b back to e words of dat old Mentat Trainin Paradox: At Last, after our long journey, we hav finalli arrived at the Beginning....

An Impression for Piano

On Sat, there was dat great show we all went down for..e Royal Easter Show...voted Best Show Last Year or somethin like dat..

e best part was of course, watchin e Rodeo shows where there was Buck Ridin, cowgirl horse-ridin, Bull Take-down Competition, Bull-ridin n stuff like dat..
but b4 all dat, Mr P. asked mi if i wanted 2 take a photo of dis Nutrition n Healthy Livin Booth where all e promoters looked so glum(must b from e Healthy food)..so i did...n e sales lady asked us 2 go in n hav a look...n someone was givin a demonstration..he asked some qn which i absudli answered...n got correct..so i won a 200 dollar set of kitchen knives...wau lau...never buy 4d!

den there was e sheep n goats, cows n pigs...n horses on display n e prizes they won at e fair...Best (Pure-breed) Features, Strongest Pig, Most Handsome Goat..Cow With Biggest...Nevermind...dunno wat also..den Mr P. again started talkin 2 e animals...hey pig, u're a weaner u noe that....i was super stunned man...Mr P. so full of lame crap..

so, after dat we went 2 e arena...n caught dat Rodeo Show..den there was e V8 Motor Cross..where we all juz watched cars on a muddy circuit while gettin drenched in e rain...n bikes doin furthest distance leaps on a wet ramp out across a field..

den finalli, there was dat cool Fireworks display for e Finale..it was great bein so up close 2 fireworks (even closer den when i was involved with NDP in 05) n cool..n after all dat, we still went 2 SuperBowl restaurant in SYdney for a late dinner..b4 headin 2 KTV...wa lau, 16 pple in 2 rooms is a lot of fun n crazy commotion man..den go back 2 sleep at fren's place at 5..n wake at 8am 2 go church..super tirin man..but all in all, e Royal Easter SHow n Sat was wat i will remember fondli for some time 2 come...

A Tune A Day For Piano

Easter 07: spent in Hillsongs Church at the Baulkham Hills Convention Centre For Good Fri...spent at The Darling Harbour Convention Centre with them again for Easter(Resurrection) Sunday

Somebody's got 2 b e Big B*st*rd n Whistle-blower to say wat many of us Christians realli think...i'm Pentecostal..as in I speak in tongues n believe in Gifts of Prophecy and things like that...(n i hav e first right 2 criticise, condemn and shout down my Pentecostal brethren).. there's nothin Pentecostal bout Hillsongs Australia...n in my opinion, little Christian wif them either..

Just another of dat Phenomenon called the Megachurch Phenomenon...Mega, Mac-Christian, Instantly Gratifyin n Eternalli Neglectin, Commercial, Shallow, Meaningless...wat hav i ever carried away wif mi from attendin any Hillsongs Service? i cannot even name one thing..Praise n Worship? Hyped up, over-souped Pop Concerts...good preachin?when the difference between the Christian life and living without Christ is illustrated by e example of how much better an Aston Martin DB7 is den an old Holden Kingswood..u realli hav 2 wonder wat it is actualli dat this church is preachin...Jesus Sanctionin the Good Life over the struggles of the Christian walk? Wat Does Jesus Actualli Say to self-fulfillin and satisfyin Hillsongs Christianity?

"You Fool! This very night ur life will be demanded from you. Then who will get what you have prepared for urself?" Lke 12:20

Well, Easter n Good Fri are days when the gospel should b preached more and more..but also days when Christians should reflect on what makes them Christian...the greatest good that has come out of all dat Hillsongs hype has been use of the time to reflect on the Christian life and wat it meant to realli follow Jesus Christ...n i realise dat whatever it is, it is not e Hillsongs life..i would rather be in danger of hellfire den go to e same kind of shallow eternity that these dudes are goin..Racca! You Fools!

An August Autumn Story

:Mood Todae (on left)

The months of the Year gathered for a feast round a roarin Bonfire...n as was e custom, each had to tell a story bout somethin interestin dat had happened when it was their month of the year...

Nobody wanted to start first...not wintry Jun, not warming October, not even quick-tempered December...all except mild (some say limpid) April...

"there was a boy, lets call him John,who hated everythin in his foster family where he had been brought up...mother was alwaez findin fault n father alwaez had such strange ambitions for him dat he never wanted for himself...n he was never allowed to play wif e other children (at least, not for long)...

so John decided to run away...he walked for km after km...till e Mars bars he brought ran out and e water he had finished...day 2 nite n nite 2 dae again in unendin cycle...n den he cut himself by accident on some rusty fence....n soon, he was just 2 tired 2 continue...so he lay 2 rest n died...

His ghost left his body n he saw a small figure in e bushes...hey, wats ur name? e figure asked...John...well, i'm Dan..i used 2 live up in dat house behind dis hill b4 i died...come on, lets play...n they spent e remainder of their April daez in such games n fun...activity after activity...dat was e best time John had in his whole life (or death i shd sae)

den one dae, he decided...lets go visit e house u used 2 live in Dan...but Dan just said, hav fun...e folks there r a strange lot...y dun u stay wif mi here n we can spend winter in these shrubs n bushes like e little hibernatin animals..but John absolutli refused...n Dan could onli bid him farewell sadli as John walked up e road n over e hill 2 e house beyond...."

"dats a nice story April.. i wish i were u for all my stories are dark n cold n filled with pain n regret...a longin for better daez..." said chill May..."oh well...dats juz e wae we were made...e daez are longer in mi n warmer n calm whereas for u, its windy n disturbed n the nights get long, dreadful and fearsome...no one realli to blame...." replied April in consolation.....

(adapted from Neil Gaiman's August's Tale in his book Fragile Things)---treasure the Autumn while warmth n life is still here...

Up to No Good

:Mood Todae(on Left)

there r times when i get on my anti-establishment n anti-authority rage..n 2nite's one o' them...heard from Miss Y bout e difficulties her church is facin gettin an extension n A&A done to their existin building...govt regulations...bah! Glen Murcutt said that regulations promote e worst and prevent e best architecture...they certainly promote mediocrity...all us architects need 2 collaborate 2gether 2 bust those regulations somehow..inc findin loopholes in e wordin...

all the world's horses and men
could not stop the Architect
out on his rampage
down came e walls of doubt
and disbelief, cynicism
and animal fear,
Trotsky and Red Guards
seizing Petrograd...
workers storming Bastille,
Guevarra tearing Bolivia
and Cuba apart-
all with one call:
Hasta la revolucion
le Siempre!

The Arabs hav a saying for certain types of things n pple: Mu Zein Walla (nothing good/never good)....to buildin codes n regulations...e establishment n all things dat troubled my growin years n caused growin pains...for u i promise...Mu Zein Walla..war without end...

Cold b' Hand
& Heart n Bone
& Cold be Sleep
under Stone
Nevermore to wake on stony bed
Never, till the moon dies and the sun is dead
Till the Lord Lifts His Hand
On Dead Sea,
& Withered Land