U noe, its not dat i went rogue in many areas of life for e sheer heck of it...growin up n seein wat befell many innocent n naive frens led mi 2 e conclusion dat its better 2 maintain a hard edge rather den fall prey 2 e crap dat life throws at one..
n my fren's quote of CS Lewis brought it all bac today,"its not e experienced man who sees evil in everythin, but e novice"...n i remained true 2 e tenets of faith in all areas even durin e difficult army years(n dats not includin BMT which was n still is a walk in e park)..those were years of harrowin n winnowin dat led 2 a streamlined "Mere Christianity" dat Lewis wrote about..
n e stunnin realization dat if leaders r not hard-edged, its those they lead dat invariabli waver n fall...well, one of e goin rogue experiences was realisin dat many charismatic n pentecostal doctrines i did not quite agree with...e mainline dudes i support..esp on e emphasis on e Bible n e need 2 thoroughli substantiate prophecy on e Word..n e overemphasis on prosperity at e expense of e sufferings of Christ by us Charismatic/pentecostals...n e inadequacy of e link between worship n healin n Spiritual Gifts with the Person of Christ n His Cross..which is realli All dat matters...n e misguided theology of allowin certain ministers 2 annoint themselves apostles when Christ onli annointed 12 n no more (n 1 qualification is dat apostles write scripture, e other dat they've touched n seen Christ in e flesh-hmmm, any takers?)
i do believ dat God made it such dat "Every man has onli one destiny" in e words of e Godfather...one lover n wife, one life path, one faith....i juz dun agree when pple say dat i think God wants such n such for u...shd dat not b between God n u? i feel real sad when pple attribute say, e failure of one's church 2 b large n prosperous 2 some ingrain spiritual flaw or inadequacy..wat if God wanted dat 2 show His glory (e same wae He did with e man blind from birth in John's Gospel)
in my experiences, i found dat many times, Christians r allowed 2 suffer..sometimes without explaination...n God's view of justice may b very different from ours...not very poetic in dat...ask e babes who were killed by Herod's thugs...n God does hav favourites..ask Jacob, Joseph n David, not 2 mention Moses n even Jesus Himself..so den, enuff of dat bourgeois interpretation of scripture so prevalent in e churches of e developed world today..spare mi ur bourgeois morals bout stem cell research n contraception..if e Immaculate Conception of Christ were subject 2 Protestant Bioethics approval, Christ would never hav seen e light of day......
apprehension sets in as e clock counts down 2 departure for Australia..Newcastle dat is..hmmm, on a quiet nite i realli can look at e benefits n disadvantages of studyin abroad..
studyin overseas allows 1 to broaden horizons indeed..by forcin us 2 clean up after ourselves n cook edible dishes, in addition 2 jugglin uni work sometimes with a job n handlin profs from a completely different culture n race dat many times clashes with our own (becomin downrite rascism)
n we realise its not all bout e rat race...there truli r so many better things den juz studyin n gettin a job n strugglin 2 climb e corporate ladder...grades n studies r very important, but not evrythin...
but of course, we leav our frens n loved ones behind n those we care about...n all e things dat matter a damn 2 us..n e temptation 2 go in2 stuff like binge drinkin n Mary Jane(dats code for Mahjrihuana)n 2 stay on, bum aroun n bcome a bloke who forgets where he's from, mistakenli thinkin, "i'm local too"..n of course e whole loneliness issue(esp for frens who're havin long-d relationships)
i think in such a world, we're forced 2 grow up pretty quick n become self-sufficient but God-dependent..n we develop our own strong worldviews n moral systems...n we sometimes get a little eccentric...those not given e opp or not choosin dis so-called overseas experience can't see many things e wae we do..dats alrite...but we need to clear up dat we aren't snobs or jia kantang or lousy n can't get in2 local universities or dat our parents hav tonnes 2 fritter away..
many of us self support or hav limited support from parents..i mix mainli with e ex-polytechnic guys n gals who pay their wae thru uni overseas thru e sweat of their backs n brows..truli noble n i salute them forever...we all want somethin better man...dats y we're on study attachment overseas as i call it.... see u guys soon
Dat was a nice party n dinner last nite with e Rovers, Ventures n Rover squires...it felt like comin home 2.....family again...i would like 2 realli get involved in a teachin n plannin role with e ol SA Scout Group whenever i'm bac for e holidays..
it also gets all tots dat i dislike outta my head...i'm full on involved n am doin somethin positive n constructive..there's so much i'd like 2 teach e boys..not just in terms of skills but also in terms of leadership n command..like e value of morale in any group of people n how e patrol leaders n system can bring dat up to e full..n how exercisin shd push e body 2 its limits 2 explore e boundaries of wat we r physicalli..
n its nice 2 work with fresh blood not part of e traditional all-boys scoutin system...e female rover squires..their thinkin can b quite refreshin at times (even though i'd never admit it & see it as an annoyance at others)...n i made 1 interestin observation...not all SA pple r jia kantang as i'd remembered from my days...they sing in chinese n cantonese even (amazin when u're not a native speaker like miself *ahem*)
e major shock was discoverin dat e current ventures had a (lets call her miss e) of their own...durin our batch, a similar miss A(slightly different spellin) caused mi much hardship...hahahaha...if she ever sees dis i'm f***in screwed...amongst e great funnies n ironies was learnin dat e current gals seem 2 b more active den e guys n dat an ex-ij T.P gal actualli would join e SA Scout Unit...hahahahahahaha..God, e difference a few yrs make...its just so inconceivable for my time la...
n, happy chinese new yr blokes...
Dats Soft Construction With Boiled Beans: A Premonition of Civil War by Salvador Dali
U tutorin dicks can critique dis for Design 2A n 1B dis year
Valentines Day is traced bac 2 when St Valentine chose 2 marry couples in defiance of Roman laws forbiddin Christians 2 marry in a futile effort 2 control Christianity's adherents n no.s durin e Roman Empire.....
e noble has thru time of course, been replace by e mundane, much as Easter which has nothin 2 do with eggs(dats from e pagan worship of e Greek goddess Eoster of e Dawn), added dat on as time went by...so now we hav heart shaped balloons n 99 red roses n cake n sexy dressin n sex...
nothin against dat of course (well 'cept e sex bit mayb) since i once did dat 2 gals i was chasin n my ex-gal-fren(again not e sex bit, unless u disbelieve mi)... but it does somehow dishearten those of us who r, for better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness n in health,(but hopefully not till death do we part) alone...
i'm not goin 2 lambast Valentines Day n love like e (enormousli fun) movie Down With Love nor am i goin 2 lament n grieve over singlehood angst..i am goin 2 b realistic n say dat it is nice 2 see public affections of love n romance but dat it also brings 2 mind e fact dat sometimes love passes n does not last...who i spend V dae with dis yr may not b e same as dat last or next yr...
dun get mi wrong..i do believe in divine appointment n sovereignty, juz not dat much in human nature...In God i Trust, all others bring cash...
oh, n by e wae, Ghostrider officialli debuts 2dae..juz as V'dae ends...Rider by Nightzzzzz.........
as some frens might noe thru long association with mi, i can b very dark n broodin at times even though i'm normalli bright n easy-goin..
I can b as dark as u Shian, if u ever read dis....gothic themes n hard gritty scenes r wat i alwaez admire... dats y my hero is Hannibal Lecter n i loved Kill Bill 1 & 2...Speakin of which, Hannibal Risin is comin out March dis yr n Ghost Rider, dat counter-culture anti-hero comic, is comin out dis thurs...
i love anti-heros like Spawn n now, GhostRider man...Man by day, Rider by Night...e whole skull n Biker thing is just so fascintatin 2 mi man...i'm seriousli disturbed i noe...yeah, i think when some1 next asks mi how i am, i shd reply,"i'm disturbed, seriousli"
n Hannibal? e guy's a genius man...e way he sees humanity in terms of culinary experiment...a whole new view on life man..killin for no simpler reason den 2 satisfy hunger....dats purity man...clear vision n purpose...
i'm rogue where movies r concerned man...forget blood n gore...show mi e darkest recesses n deepest desires of e human heart man...Fascinatin stuff...
Wakes bring closure...wakes help e livin to put everythin down n move on...
sometimes we need wakes to bury certain things n move on in life...sometimes, we need wakes to bury pple close 2 us...sometimes we need wakes to wake up, square our shoulders n move on...
my fren whose close relative passed away recently, dis is for u...dun worry bout e peculiar emotions followin loss..experience it, accept it n den lets move on...e world alwaez ends for some1 everyday...why let it b u 2day?
i guess u can call mi a bleak b*stard...but seriously,i paraphrase someone great ( an Emperor actualli )...o man, u are not ejected from life by some unjust judge, but by He dat brought u into it...just like an actor dismissed by a manager..but i've onli finished 3 out of 5 acts u say...so be it, in ur drama of life, 3 acts are all e play.He who formerly sanctioned ur creation 2day also sanctions ur dissolution n neither of those decisions lay within urself. Go on ur way den, with a smilin face, under the smile of Him who bids u go...
well...lets start somewhere....dis year...i hate updatin frenster....y? everytime i go on frenster, i realise just how many of my ol frens i onli contact thru frenster now...n how many hav moved on so far in their lives...while i hav been made agonisinli slow progress
it leaves mi with a sense of unease n dread..after 5 yrs..how many of my frens will b left?
n it also leads mi to think of wat i'll b doin 5 yrs from now....n where i've come in e last 5 years..morbid tot huh?oh well, dats frenster for u...n my morbid tots on it....sometimes i begin 2 wonder if i hav sociopathic or pschopathic tendencies...hahahahahaha
U noe, its not dat i went rogue in many areas of life for e sheer heck of it...growin up n seein wat befell many innocent n naive frens led mi 2 e conclusion dat its better 2 maintain a hard edge rather den fall prey 2 e crap dat life throws at one..
