Gettin Stuff off my mind

sometimes i need to get things off my chest n i feel bloggin bout it seems e best way..

i've had some nasty experiences in e past with certain persons whom i was chasin...n dat threw mi off datin for quite some time..

den i realise dat someone comes along n e whole world can turn upside n down..but den it makes mi recall past failures n nasty experiences n makes mi realli apprehensive over e whole issue..

n i feel horrible all over again..insecurity comes in n a lack of confidance which realli shows mi up for who i am..alwaez over-analyzin n worryin bout bein made use of while actin e coward 2 often..face to face with my own shortcomins is like lookin in2 a dark mirror..just like e Corinthian character in e Sandman series..revealin e darkest secrets n facets of what we are n wat we are afraid 2 face up to..n there we find our darkest passions dat grip us n hold us in a vice n drive us forward...

dun be fooled..every1 has a or some dark passions...n i dun think these r bad neccessarily..just wat God puts in us dat allows us 2 struggle with, sometimes overcomin, sometimes succumbin...n invariabli turned 2wards His noble ends..

my dark passion/s? A main one is the search for identity, security n Respect..yes..dat word...Respect...my pax imperium dat e onli way a man can b respected is thru wat he accomplishes n makes...not altogethr rite n not 1 i agree with totalli..but its there..

another is e search for stability n normality..sometimes i feel as if i'm not "normal"..thus does e search for bein normal aka most comfortable n maintainable continue..

if we shadows do offend, think but dis n all is mended,
dat u hav but slumbered here, while these visions did appear.
give mi ur hands if we be friends,
and
we
dark
passions
shall
restore
amends.
(adapted n modified from A Mid-Summer Night's Dream By Neil Gaiman)