Friday, June 23, 2006

Small Change

Does it feel different to post from home? yes it does.. there have been so many instances for mi 2 b thankful n grateful for in life since e return for e winter hols..

e 1st thing that caused some anxiety n den relief was when i searched for some fifty cent coins to pay for my first singaporean meal of laksa n hokkien mee after 6 months(its just 5, yes)..n i realised e joy of having coins fit snugli in ur palm without feelin like u're handling spanish pieces of eight that would feel rite at home embedded in e forehead of Goliath..

dat realli depicts e differences in size, scale, physiology, psychology n thinkin of Australians vis-a-vis S'poreans..its good 2 b home among one's countrymen no matter how bluidy screwed up some o' us can get..n as a sidenote, i'v enot met some of u my frens yet..but will get to u soon once all e catchin up on 6 months worth of letter-replyin n readin, studyin for my basic theory test, liasin with IDP for e June Newcastle intake n all..

now, regardin e world cup, i've got much more 2 say as e game progresses..but at dis stage, i think dat e English side especialli r playin e most uninspired game of football i've ever seen..competent but uninspired..n i can't help thinkin to miself dat Krouch realli looks like some Japanese prisoner of war with his stick thin frame that looks like a bamboo partition..my mind tells mi its gonna be Germany or Argentina holdin e cup aloft..but my heart cries "Oranjes!!!"....Johan Cruyf n Marco Van Basten these guys may not b..but the Royal Netherlands Football Team will alwaez hav dat special place in my heart-of-hearts..oh, n sorry gals, but Zinidine Zidane has got 2 b dropped (n dropped hard) if e French r gonna hav any chance..but mayb it oredi is too late for e French rooster..Henry shd hav been captain from e start..

Thursday, June 08, 2006

Ground 0

Last day b4 headin home..had a slight scare earlier with e airline check-in screwin up on mi..they had mi on a flight for Nov 10...n finalli sorted it out by callin n they tracked mi down thru my departure information (from Singapore)...i was hoppin mad n all my expletives started 2 spew oredi..mother-f***ers who shd juz F*** back 2 their mother's h**e..

i've taken enuff shite from certain ang mohs here oredi man..not gonna take any from my own countrymen n from e compamy supposed 2 b renowned for efficiency..i hav half a mind 2 make a formal complaint thru the Singapore International Foundation(SIF) n thru them to e local SIA representative in Sydney..why r members of the Newcastle Singapore Students Association bein victimised for our trouble man? i think dat we deserve a complimentary pair of tickets from SIA for such bullshite (i wish)..hahahaha..dats impossible i noe n juz a fantasy..unless i hav some pezzonovante(Big-shot) fren in high places like e Singapore High Commisioner 2 Australia (which i dun; though we've met at e darn High Commissioner's Tea Event n was dressed super-casualli;n was embarassment incarnate)

shd stop bein so aggressive..after all, i'm onli goin home for a month..but sometimes my ex-army specialist instincts n temper r recalled to service like some emotional reservist activation..better means of gettin back at pple who cause trouble there r den losin my temper..i hav lots 2 learn from Don Vita Corleone of the Godfather fame..

anywaez..e next post will b next week from home..here's my flight details for some of u frens anywaez..but i'll contact u when i get back..no need 2 meet mi at e airport act..i'll say hi if u're there n respect u for it..but i'll b goin home for some rest straight after..n catch ya guys n ladies in e mornin..SQ 232, estimated arrival 545 pm at Singapore Airport Terminal 2...

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Finito

"It is Finished..." e 1st semester of yr 1 is over..along with the work involved...

now all dat remains is 3 days between now n goin home for e 1st time in 6 months..i've got stuff 2 get n pple to visit b4 i make my way home..

i must have lunch with frens who've helped mi dis semester with work..i must hav lunch with my pastor n thank him for his advice n support all dis while..i must remembr 2 get those souvenirs for my cousins who gave mi a treat b4 i went overseas..they are family n blood is thicker than water..

n finalli, i can sleep earli n in peace at nite..without worry regardin e next submission, short project, assignment, essay, report or portfolio..until e start of next sem dat is..n truli..i can go back to meet e closest frens i ever made in my life n who've alwaez stood by mi back home..kumu n e NWO, Shamir n e scout bros, Leonard n coy, Kian n e army spec mates..hmmm..if i had some1 special waitin at e airport..it would b perfect..but i dun n i shd not fantasise..else i'll soon hav 2 start smokin 2 relieve dat unneccessary stress again..

but i'm also leavin some good frens i made here behind inc my housemates dat i'll miss till i get back..many pple say i'm very sociable..mayb i am..but i like to think dat i've been blessed with good frens whom i could develop a connection to..some more some less..some like kindred spirits drawn to e same flame..but all whom i appreciate..of course, i've also had bad frens whom i often rant about here...but a bad fren is simpli a fren who could hav been my good fren but chose to cause mi harm n hurt..n it is alwaez my wish dat so-called bad-frens can make good in their life n mine..

so, to those of u still havin exams, all e best n God bless...to others, see u over there..where? Home...beyond e western shore..byond e sunrise (though u can't actualli go beyond e sunrise technicalli speakin)..

Monday, June 05, 2006

People are people

"People are people so why should'nt we? u n i should get along so awfulli..i noe dat u hate though i've done nothin wrong"..e lyrics of Depeche Mode's People realli say it all bout e complexity n confusion of human relationships n human responses..

lateli, i've been so tired , not juz of sch work n all..but also by e multitude of small wars n conflicts regardin pple i noe here in Nescastle..its tirin 2 get involved in it all..but sometimes, we got 2 step back n let e storm blow itself out..

2 those who noe wats goin on, i think we shd juz concentrate on our work n e gd parts of e frenship with othrs..2 those not in e noe..lets juz sae human beins r sensitive creatures esp guys with our egos n frail hearts..dats 1 reason i refuse 2 work at home..even at 9 or 10 at nite..i'll still come 2 e library/studio 2 do work...we all need 2 get away frm it all sometimes..n besides..i hav a very clear dichotomy..home is for sleep n sch for work..i dun traditionalli do work at home or sleep in sch..its part of my work-life philosophy developed in e army..

i wish dat life were less complicated with such inter-personal human relationship comedies n tragedies (not 2 mention e drama serials n documentaries)..i mean..i've learnt more bout human problems in Newcastle den in e army..n dat is a lot lor...well, i'm juz gonna do mi part in everythin liao n not b so worried even if pple i noe decide 2 fight World War 3..

one trick i will appli...seein e gd side of things as they appli 2 mi..whethr its regardin gals or frens ..dats y i'm a happy-go-lucky person..i used 2 b more easili affected n am by nature broodin..but i've let lots of things go in life..n as a Christian..i alwaez see it dat wateva insults n injuries for mi fall on Christ' body on dat cross.."the wounds inflicted on u hav fallen on Mi" ...n there is healin..

Saturday, June 03, 2006

Mounties


Jamie up high-n-lofty

The Horse n his boy

Horse was placid; but fought mi on mounting

Friday, June 02, 2006

Weird Tots

when u're tired, things start 2 pop up in e head like some strange mental Brownian Motion..unexplained, unaccounted for n definiteli unwelcome..

i figure its probabli at e confluence of e realms of dream, suppressed desire n exhausted delirium dat causes such tots n feelins 2 arise..but strangeli as a side note..i find i write extremeli well in such chaotic circumstances..on e wellspring of creativity i find miself..n i can feel e urge 2 write/draw on my tinglin finger-tips

i find miself askin wat e term,sophormoric romance means..i saw dat phrase 1st on Shian aka Rex's blog..n wonder wat it all means..does it mean puppy love..or dat strange time when everythin is magical n u r given to attractions to membrs of e opposite sex?or simpli common infactuation dat constructs an image of someone dats false but loveli to our sight?

i'm not doin dis cos of any rubbish relaionshp probs of mi own..cos i've come 2 a point where i honestli say i dun like any1..not even myself..onli Christ n He's different..hahaha..i'm delirious afta not sleepin for a whole nite..dats y..so indulge mi..

i fell prey 2 dat tendency often times in mi life 2 noe dat franli, its a hidden desire 2 run away from e problems of life thru such poppy-cock(dats a new term)..so i advice walkin away when such desires threaten...n learnin 2 watch e danger signs is very relevant 2 such troubles..just bcos we think we like some1 does not mean we do..some of my frens i noe need 2 realise dat n realli wake up 2 e harsh light of day..

of course, if i could do it all over again in my past failed relationships, i would not change a thing..n sometimes, just sometimes, when i hear a certain piece of music, e magic comes back..n i feel alive once again..n i realise how far i've fallen from e magic of those days..schrage musik is wat e Germans call such deja vu acoustics..they remind mi of my ex..but honestli, i would not do wat i did for her to anothr gal now..or any1..n i would not want 2 b hurt by someone else e way i let miself get hurt back then..for her yes all over again if i went back in time..for someone else today, i dun think so (as far as i can tell)...on e same level of paradox as e statement, everything i say is a lie..including dis statement"

when i was a teen, i was like a lamb...but there was magik..when dat lamb was butchered as blood sacrifice for e adult 2 rise, dat magik died with him..now all dat remains is a sleek black form..smooth as shadow n dark as nite..i miss dat lamb sometimes...

Thursday, June 01, 2006

Wing-roll

i alwaez tot dat e end of sem was a wonderful opportunity for a victory roll..end of sch, end of troubles..end of all sorts of pressures n time to miself..n dat trip to Tioman with Kian n e guys..

did we not enjoy e "Lord dismiss us with thy blessin, thanks for mercies past received" n hated e same hymn with e lyrics for beginnin of term in secondary sch?

i'm not doin a victory roll now..n i'm not singin any endin of term hymn..if any song, its "Amazin Grace" when i get thru...

e sum of my experiences dis sem can be stated with some ease..with work, double hard n a design inclination towards e tutor's style..i'll give him back wat he likes..but with some curves..afterall, am i not part of e Newcastle University Anti-Box-n-Square-Edges Design Group?

where relationships r concerned..i'm playin Qing Fei De Yi n K Ge Zhi Wang a lot..i need some solitary time n time with frens who giv a rat's ass bout mi...n e strategy of keepin my distance from e female species seems 2 b workin juz fine..i've ended e semester happier n with less worry than b4..

wats left? Faith? i wish i could say honestli dat i dun need more of dat but uh-uh...i can't in all honest openess say dat..faith is a little thing dat goes a long way they say..well den, who's e guy who does not need or want more of dat little thing for life's long, n arduos, n oftentimes, bitchy journey?

i giv e final word to the DeLirium..newest addition 2 my charactr..dis gets chaotic from here...computers let go of mi n i fell into e air of the sea..now there i am without a head..brain left under my arm n i'm sayin hi..left of rite is e wrong way as i board e plane to sail for there..where is there? here? coming away n i-want-2-tell-my-housemate-2wake-up...no more cat love-makin..no more fren-sad bizness..i can't go near pple..i'm afraid of gettin hurted..huntin now..no more hurtin..