sometimes i need to get things off my chest n i feel bloggin bout it seems e best way..
i've had some nasty experiences in e past with certain persons whom i was chasin...n dat threw mi off datin for quite some time..
den i realise dat someone comes along n e whole world can turn upside n down..but den it makes mi recall past failures n nasty experiences n makes mi realli apprehensive over e whole issue..
n i feel horrible all over again..insecurity comes in n a lack of confidance which realli shows mi up for who i am..alwaez over-analyzin n worryin bout bein made use of while actin e coward 2 often..face to face with my own shortcomins is like lookin in2 a dark mirror..just like e Corinthian character in e Sandman series..revealin e darkest secrets n facets of what we are n wat we are afraid 2 face up to..n there we find our darkest passions dat grip us n hold us in a vice n drive us forward...
dun be fooled..every1 has a or some dark passions...n i dun think these r bad neccessarily..just wat God puts in us dat allows us 2 struggle with, sometimes overcomin, sometimes succumbin...n invariabli turned 2wards His noble ends..
my dark passion/s? A main one is the search for identity, security n Respect..yes..dat word...Respect...my pax imperium dat e onli way a man can b respected is thru wat he accomplishes n makes...not altogethr rite n not 1 i agree with totalli..but its there..
another is e search for stability n normality..sometimes i feel as if i'm not "normal"..thus does e search for bein normal aka most comfortable n maintainable continue..
if we shadows do offend, think but dis n all is mended,
dat u hav but slumbered here, while these visions did appear.
give mi ur hands if we be friends,
and
we
dark
passions
shall
restore
amends.
(adapted n modified from A Mid-Summer Night's Dream By Neil Gaiman)
u noe, they realli shd offer a course at universities Worldwide for both Engineerin n Science Students n as an elective 2 biz ad, commerce, management, social science n in fact, any degree dat will deal with some aspect of e real world one day in life...
wats dis module? Its a very scientific theory and hypothesis dat should get its theorist a Noble Prize like John Nash...hell they shd offer it as a degree in its own rite n dedicate a faculty or institution at Princeton or Cambridge(hear Gabriel)to the study n development of understandin of this hypothesis..mayb create a think-tank or 2 devoted 2 usin this mathematical theory 2 analyse e world..
every1 must b fed up with me by now..wats dis elegaic non-algebraic theorem u r shoutin at e top of ya lungs..for God's sake, tell us say u...ok ok..its called The Atrophical Uniting Theorem of Moffat...in laymen's terms...Murphy's Law.. where alpha tends through n phases towards omega..where alpha represents Unity, Order, Harmony and perfection whereas omega represents chaos, malfunction, destruction, disorder n breakdown...
everything breaks down n fails as time goes by, represented by each n phase where the worst time n circumstance possible is the n event.i mean, i come home from Australia for e holidays n n event takes place...my internet connection breaks down at home n i can't use e net at home..i come back from australia n on e days i wish 2 meet my frens..n event happens..all studyin for exams, out in army on mission or rushin work thru for some big assignment..i come bacvk just in time for a busy christmas period when n happens...my pastors r away in some capacity ministerin overseas n e hard work of christmas preparations is shared by far 2 few pple..i come home from australia, go clubbin where n happens..i see 1 of e reasons i left for australia on e dance floor with some sick dude..
now e theme song for dis n phase has got 2 b Depeche Mode's I Just Can't Get Enough...Murphy's Law...awesome stuff man..hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Ahhahaha...dats prob e most gay-lo image i'll ever take n upload of myself...Hillsongs at Seven Hills...Ground Zero of the all singin, all worshippin but sadli, very commercialised Pentecoastal phenomenon in Australia n e world over..
yes, deng lai liao! finalli back home after 6 months of uni dat match in intensity e worst combat training schedule in e SAF...so wats next? well first, redesignin e interior of Charis Church for Christmas n e comin year..n my room..n freelance logo design work for a fren's company..at least i hope so..in addition 2 learnin drivin, autocad n archicad plus workin on Indesign n Adobe Illustrator..
interestin dat i've become more concerned with Christian fundamentals dis year..like e study of the cross n its centrality in e life of a christian..such a study is, i believe, e way 2 counter e so-called prosperity gospel..with e suffering gospel of the cross..n i've become a little fascinated by e ways in which we pentecostals hav deviated from the teachins of e n Bible..it is my supreme desire, one day, to write a book entitled Whats Wrong with us Pentecostals? Oh well, truth demands an examination of conscience n a recognition of fallin short..
its not dat i love bein a critic..just dat i feel dat all of us need a voice of conscience now n den 2 cry out, Prepare e Way of e Lord! Make Straight e Crooked Paths..just like e ancient Roman generals returnin triumphant from war had a small dwarf in their entourage whisperin into their ear, "Temporal glory is fleetin..dis too shall pass away"..
e voice of conscience asks 2day, wats wrong with e church? wats wrong with society..especially singaporean? mayb just about everything....
been feeling inspired lately...by events organised with the SSA Newcatsle like our Dinner held b4 most of e Singaporeans' exams..as seen above..n by e exhibition of final year Architecture Seniors' works as seen in e previous photos dis week..
i discovered some issues of dat underground British architecture journal known as Archigram..n i've been so inspired by e visual n graphic presentation..n e whole counter-culture idea all over again..anti-establishment, rebellious n radical..dats wat i love man.. just like e wonderful Deconstructivist final yr project known as This Is Not Culture..i like such stuff..n e high quality panel presentation n detail models..
n e elegant final dinner at Larna Thai Restaurant organised with SSA Newcastle n SIthu's excellent help realli showed us in dis year's comm dat we could b capable of so much more..e year of experimentation for our comm has ended with dis final project..a year of consolidation lies ahead..n God willing, a year of advance after dat...but as alwaez, e Will of God is impervious to the musings of man..
where are my manners? in e photo above, from left to right...Sithu n Evelynn standing, Flavian(i wonder if he's named after e Roman Emperor Vespasius Flavius), myself n Bingyu(excellent housemate)..
Exquisite Model-making!
Gillette's famous tag is "the best that man can get"..but sometimes, I feel like i hav not gotten e best..
in terms of e work i'm doin here in Newcastle, I dun seem to hav achieved e best performance i could under e most tryin conditions..i dun seem to hav gotten e best results, measure for measure for e work i've put in dis year..dun get mi wrong..or as George Bush junior would call it, make no mistake..i hav put in my very best dis yr..but still hav come away a little disappointed..
wat seems to b e issue i wonder? a lack of experience? a lack of technical skill? certainly..a lack of imagination? impossibly..a lack of favour..divine and human? with equal parts mixed in, no doubt...
still, an acceptance of fact is imperative..certain academic areas r indeed lackin in my year's work..n there is great room for improvement..i made a vow b4 dat i would never fear a dead thing like an academic subject or academic weakness..not since i detonated my first 10 kg of explosives..n i do not indeed fear obstacles or difficulties..
to the Almighty i give my personal best..n den, i plan how, as it were, to succeed without ambiguity...beyond reproach n with all speed..an obstacle is there to be overcome..n a weakness to b corrected..dis too is vanity..yet it shall be..for life is short n the days long..wat use is dwelling on wat might hav been?
Wat can one week do? a lot is my answer..a week is e difference between havin lotsa sch work n assignments n havin ur fate determined by some presentation of ur work for e last 3 months dat is not very comfortin...
den there's one final bang..or rather 2..before e academic yr fizzles out..website design with html dat i never tried b4..without e help of a html editin program mind..n Archicad..e architect's version of Auto-cad...but realli e worst is over..
it was hell week while it lasted sia.. two n a half weeks of sleepin at 6 am n wakin at 12 noon to continue work or 10 am to go for class n tutorials...n worst of all, its settled in a flash of 3 mins in front of 3 hyper-critical, racialli -biasede tutors who realli dun giv a damn if i pass or fail..well, dat stinks man..but i figure its alwaez gonna b a struggle for guys like mi...
its a hard fight alwaez..struggle thru a-levels...in e army, sispec n 46 SAR..den now here also struggle...haiz..sometimes i wish dat it would b a lil easier..n dat some slack might b cut mi..but it never seems to b e case..so i juz perservere n fight...like e Israelis...alone, isolated, independent n uncared for...but as such, we who fight make sure dat we WiN..bcos dat is wat matters...not wat pple think..God alone is judge...
well, like e Israelis, i will evolve new doctrines, new order of battle, new tactics n new strategies..arma virumque cano is how Virgil begins his great nationalist Roman epic The Aeneid..I sing of war n a man at arms..choice is irrelevant when assaults r laid at e gate..onli e sleek, lean, hungry n prepared survive n thrive..dis yr has been a baptism of fire..i will do wat i must next yr...
i realise i haven't done philosophy for some time...wat branch of philosophy should we delve into 2day n bore evry1 to death in an egomainical manner?
mayb e idea of wat satire is...political n otherwise..i'm treadin a fine line here...so b4 goin any further, bak chor mee ai te quah mai? mee siam hum bei?
actualli, i think mr Brown actualli meant mee siam mai hiam..not mai hum..but realli, some high level Powers in the world should not take it so personalli la..n anywaez, its good dat someone stood up n said wat he wanted to say...n best of all...made evry1 hav a good laugh...not like e Lenin of Singapore politics (who refused to co-operate with e Russian govt b4 Oct 1917 n was imprisoned for radical ideas)..mark my words, dat former NUS Associate Professor is DAMN smart..if e current Power of authority back home is toppled, he will b e 1st to sae I TOLD U SO n b credited for it....total non-cooperation is a stance to gain attention n influence...
back 2 satire..y should newspapers not hav a cartoon satire page? caricature cartoons need not onli b for political purposes..i noe many cartoons ridiculin e state of society n many dat ridicule celebrities...such as Pamela Anderson n her immense n generous bosom buddies...e best social commentary cartoon i saw was 1 where a house was bein burned down 'to flush out rats' n was an allegory of over-reaction in a certain society in e world(not s'pore)
haiz, lets all hav a few laughs at e expense of society, politics n even e media...hmmm, mayb dats y e media back home does not support satire as well...cos pple can laugh at them too...smart pple noe dat society needs a littl shakin up from time 2 time..smarter pple noe to shake a little, step back, den when it all calms down, shake again..guerilla warfare its called...n its pretty damn well effective cos a few smart pple can hold a Caesar or e entire populace at bay...or at ransom..u gotta love power man...its a satire of e human condition itself..
Community Day '06 brought mi down 2 Canberra over e weekend..i managed 2 meet some of the Commission staff n some peers in UNSW, USyd, Macquarie Uni n UWS..includin e new committe for UNSW's SSA (S'pore Students Association)..
e greatest part of e trip was realisin with some shock dat the mother-f***in city centre looked exactly like Toa Payoh central with all its streets n open mall spaces...inc. e part that used 2 b under renovation/construction near e interchange..it was realli weird..
at nite, a few of us hit e clubs n pubs aroun...Mooseheads, Sultans' n O'Malley's Irish Pub..not a bad experience considerin e highest cover charge was $8 n offered 2-for-1 drinks till 11pm..e pple there were e most racially integrated lot i've ever met in Aus land..ang mo chicks with asian guys n asian gals with ang mo dudes..n also realli mixed groups of frens partyin away..it was interestin n a change from rascist newcastle..
n i came back 2 a startlin realisation i made years ago.. dat some of e most f***ed up women are Christians..amazin man..so realli i think we Christian men shd drop e holy facade to get e gals..just b ourselves..warts n all...n seriousli, let Christian character flower fully for Christ n not accordin 2 any1's estimates..for mi...i would like to b a Christian like Christ yet also able to do e Butcher's job when neccessary...just like the Emperor Constantine..or the godfather figure Don Corleone...
but dats another story for another time.. e Canberra trip was finalli great for its excellent architecture i saw..includin e War Memorial, new Parliament House n National Museum...once is enuff believe u mi, but it was still a good experience..2 dat, cheers..
My good fren once said, follow mi n a fisher of men i'll make ya...not e most nice politically-correct statement 2 make 1st time to a stranger...but it sure had impact...
u'll never know e thrill of fishin till u've caught ur first fish on ur very own rod without any external help..u sit waitin for hours(sometimes days) without any thing, but den there's a bite n a tug n ur heart leaps..sometimes u just throw in e line n start reelin large flippers in a matter of minutes..sometimes every1 gets something but u dun..kua heng sway one..but u never noe unless u cast ur rod..
i had such an experience on Mon n Tues when i went with my housemates n some close guy frens to Stockton to try our hand on our new rods..it was blowin northeast at gale force n we were nearly sunk like the Shipwreck at Shipwreck Point where we cast our lures..n got nothin for our trouble..so we relocated to Honeysuckle to try fishin in e cul-de-sac of e harbour..every1 seemed top b reelin in fish except mi..promferts, yellow tails(ikan kurau), silver bream, pike n even a small eel..i had no luck man..
Tues we went again after havin those fish for lunch (man, dat eel in black bean sauce is heavenli) n dis time i had better luck...but i prefer to think its prayer :) even though e idea of askin God for a hand in catchin fish seems a lil' manipulative n theologicalli unsound..i did catch a small grass fish with a hand reel..but it was inedible n too small..then e wind got massiveli bad again like e day b4 n we relocated 2 Honeysuckle..
within minutes of castin my rod in i got atug n my float n attached lightstick went underwater..sheer sign of something on e hook..i reeled n pulled to land a small promfert..den later, i landed 2 pike..1 small n another medium..dat was a highpoint man..i felt like on cloud 9...thanks b to God..n i fulli understand e characterization Jesus uses for witnessin n evangelism, as fishin for men..it realli does feel e same way to win a soul for Christ n see dat person goin on 2 lead a most vibrant n sincere Christian life..one dats deep yet not over religious..n it dun matter wat type of rod or bait u use..u can catch even with a bamboo stick n bugs..but when u do make a catch, just make sure u land it well..
