l'esprit d'escalier

The "spirit of the stair" its called. l'esprit d'escalier. imagine having an awkward conversation or a quarrel with someone and being tongue tied and not knowing what to say. Then as you're walking down the stairs on ya way to the coat rack you suddenly come up with this brilliant comeback or sarcastic comment you should have made that would surely have left the opposition at a loss for words and reeling in disarray, winning the match like Federer versus Davydenko at the Melbourne Open, 2-6, 6-3, 6-0, 7-5.

i find that true for myself in many situations as well, even those of a non-confrontational nature. For instance, at the IMPACT Conference last week for fresh australian students trying to link up with churches and/or campus christian groups down under, i found myself tongue-tied at sudden moments when called upon to talk about my university or what Architecture as a course was like or even why prospective students coming over in June should consider Newcastle-upon-Antipodes instead of Sydney (that fantastic Con of a city) or Melbourne (2nd best Sydney). All i could come up with were some nervous jokes about Newcastle being more regional and scenic than the metropolitan cities which are great breeding grounds for vampires who hate the sun, and where rascism is open and above board rather than disguised and hypocritical. Better to get bashed in broad daylight than stabbed in the back at night right?

Or at Bible study last Friday when i should have said that the new Michael Morrow song i'd like to share was meaningful for the lines "His is the right to rule my life, mine is the joy to live for Him" and how contemporary christianity has man (specifically each individual..read: me) as the centre of the universe, with God revolving around him, doing my bidding and at my beck and call whereas the New Testament is quite clear that Jesus Christ is the centre of the universe, with me at the periphery revolving around Him, to do His bidding and His calling. (at least, thats how the early church preached Christ). Like Tim Keller i want to see a Copernican Revolution in our view of God, life, and the meaning of existence and the best way to do it is from the ground up, in small Bible Study groups around the world.

Instead, all i said was i like this song because its very challenging for christians and because i think contemporary christian music doesn't challenge christians out of complacency enough. i know. Pathetic isn't it? The spirit of the stair strikes again.

The banned P-word?

i was a bit apprehensive going to Shaun's for Bible study with people whom i've either not had Bible study with for some time(Shaun and Dene) or not had Bible study with before(James, Sam, Miss J and W). especially when you've brought along Mango salad crafted in your own HDB backyard kitchen..about 2 hours worth of washing, slicing, dicing, grating and tossing...i wasnt sure how well it would turn out but it apparently did go down well with all involved..praise God for that!

now study involved Phillipians 4:4-13, courtesy of James about rejoicing regardless of circumstance, whether with plenty or in need. i enjoyed the discussions involved, especially the off-tangent ones when Miss J and James talked about their banned P-word and then Miss W talking about the fact that its so hard telling people about Jesus maybe because God hasnt chosen them and then J and James started laughing..and then i got it! Pre-destination!! so thats what the P-word was, not some part of the male human anatomy..right!

James was very apprehensive talking about the P-word and God's sovereignty and his view was the moderate evangelical one that we meet God halfway..or maybe 60-40...70-30? there was some tossing up of God's sovereignty means man's powerlessness and inability to choose..and i told him that i didnt quite see it in that light. then we changed the subject hurriedly..whew! it seemed..

was it really a relief? well, yes and no. for some of us, i genuinely think that other topics would prove more beneficial to their immediate christian growth..for others however, clearing some of the misconceptions about Calvinism and the reformed view of God's Word would have been more helpful..but i agree that this was not the time to discuss the issue..

i like my singapore bible study group..it has the flavour of Focus in Newcastle with people from different christian backgrounds and at different stages..and its non-denominational, by and for a group of christians truly keen to read God's Word and to live with Jesus as king (even though we may not use those exact words) and to share Jesus with our friends..whats not to be excited about?! especially in recent weeks i've been receiving some pretty discouraging stuff from friends like S and I and P who claim to be christian but have just shown in their living that they've got different priorities from the king of the universe..other not so positive stuff is Ian's Dad isnt too well and i'm praying for him..and i'm just discouraged by the state i've found my home church in Singapore in everytime i come back..well at least this week at church we'll be starting Bible study sessions on Saturday night..

so i Should rejoice in Jesus as i draw strength from Him, eh? cheers guys!

Cello Suite 1 with thanks to J Dickson

This is Bach's Cello Suite 1 which John Dickson showed us in his final NTE talk..Don't blame the poor performance of a piece on the composition..again this is a great performance of a great composition, but by Rostropovich rather than YoYo Ma..thanks John Dickson for introducing me to the greatest composer ever. i liked some classical music before this but now, i'm hooked, especially to Johan Sebastian Bach!

From my Liberal perspective

i pride myself as a true political liberal, not the kind you find in the Sydney Morning Herald who rattle off hackneyed positions without conscious deliberation. Genuine liberals are open-minded and distrusting of human nature and the mob, friendly to all religions even if they have their own viewpoints and concerned for the welfare of all peoples, races, tongues and religions. True liberals never condone violence, oppression or coercion of any kind, not even for the greater good. There is no greater good in the implicit approval of evil. i am a true democrat and will always be one, notwithstanding my conservative evangelical religious beliefs.

i booed the American evangelical lobby for turning a blind eye to sin in the previous administration and i've attacked Richard Dawkins for his stupid empirical delusions that human beings need help from religion to kill each other. we don't. I've always stood for multiculturalism and tolerance outside the major Australian cities.

Violence to settle disputes is never justifiable. Especially not when settling disputes over words. i was on the ground in KL on friday when the fire-bombings of churches and christian property began and i know the majority of my Malay and Muslim friends do not condone these actions even if they disagree regarding the issue at stake. From my study of group dynamics, i know that such disturbances and mob behaviour never arise without agitators and saboteurs.

these people must now be located and incarcerated under the maximum sentence. They are subversives and a threat to the internal security of any civilisation. I believe in the process of law and the courts. Under the infamous Internal Security Act, which exists for such situations, these denizens must now be arrested. Yes, their case must be tried by judicial process and openly but the state in which these crimes have been perpertrated must now show its political will to act if it is truly sincere about peace and harmony.

Some names are worth dying for; but there is no name which is worth killing for.

my cool KL dream

a primeval landscape stretches out before me, shorty spiny brownish grass below the edge of a low cliff that faces the sea. the lens pans out and rises to take in a scene of strange wildlife running on the plateau above the sea. Flocking, herding and swarming heedless of danger. No sign of humanity anywhere. next, scenes flash past of mountains and volcanoes and upheavals of the landscape with colourful swirls of gas and lava. i wake. Stumbling blindly for the toilet, i realise in my groggy state of semi-sleep that i've dreamt up a fantastic movie idea.

coming back from my toilet call, i hurriedly jot down the words, veteran film-maker, wild life, scenery, James Cameron before going back to my world of wonders.

i've had this dream or something similar to it before. once, when i was really young..only that time, there were dinosaurs in it, namely Allosaurus, a Triassic creature, first of the great flesh eating, rapid hunting bipeds. i had this dream while in Junshoong's house staying when i visited KL recently and caught up with my Malaysian friends from Newcastle University and FOCUS in particular. i reckon that i must have been influenced by Avatar and from what i wrote in my little diary while half asleep, i probably was. that being said, i think the idea of doing a film documentary of a prehistoric world before man is a fascinating and original idea. Of course, Walking with Dinosaurs and Walking with Mammals already did something similar, but never before focusing on the landscape. My dream movie indeed.

well, that one goes into my catalogue of dream scapes and dream compositions. wonder if Neil Gaiman's library of all the dream books and compositions ever dreamt really does exist somewhere huh? till next time, sweet dreams.