This or that

i'm wondering aloud (here) for a moment..shd i return to being cold, aloof and distant, untouchable n untouched by the people aroun mi, because i somehow feel my presence is an uninvited irritation and interruption to them? or shd i keep trying to be more involved and engaged with the people aroun mi inspite of my inner sense of being left out n excluded more often than not?

i wondr if the potential to be hurt n disappointed will be less if i do the former...quite possibly..but den again, like the Modern movement, life would be so dreadfully boring without some of that (post-modern) drama..hmmmm..a tough choice to make n one that i shall probably hav to conduct a greater study of...

i could just go back to my shell of being the dark one who speaks not unless spoken to..but i never liked that fellow as well...he was cold as liquid hydrogen n i like to be warm n friendly...he was a reaction to certain groups that made mi uncomfortable to be aroun, but i din like such a reaction..but i would be free of all that crappy human behaviour that can get us down all the time..free of changeable human nature that changes faster than my socks...free of that human criticism that always gets under my skin..so tempting.......

for now, i shall continue engagement and rapport-building with human beings...but my judgement is still reserved...i shall have to calculate the costs of human involvement sometime in the near future...

no. 3 Together in Electric Dreams

Oh yes my late sleeping frens, here's one by Phil Oakney about dreaming..for all your loved ones whom you miss and want to have and hold right now..with the internet age, electric dreaming gets easier every second..

Song no.2 Dancing Queen by Kylie

Oh Kylie!
if we could all dance like this old chick, the world might be a happier place...

All 80s weekend

here in Australia a bit boring sometimes..so have to do some lame stuff for self entertainment n motivation..i miss my Class 95 all 80s weekend..so i guess just have to come up with Jono's own All 80s Weekend..

n since i never figured how to add audio tracks to my blog..i just hav to add a few videos from you-tube...man..this is gonna make my blog like a mini-you-tube...but i'm siao one as all my frens noe..haha..well here goes..

Song no. 1

Richard Marx-Right Here Waiting, brought to ya by ur DJ Jono Singaporeman

Ahhhhhh, yes...

This song is Therapy for a lonely, tired, wounded soul...i feel the age dripping off my bones once more..

Forever Young, i wanna be forever young,
Do you really wanna live forever, forever and ever,
Young?

Some are like water, some are like the beach,
Some are like the melody and some like the beat,

So many adventures good enough today,
so many song we forgot to play,
so many dreams swinging out the blue,
let it come true!

Owowowowowowowo

went for Life to the Full with Brendan and Qunfeng on Thursday nite..where some cool 80s video was played..reminding mi of the Glorious 80s again..i was born in 1984 so i had about 6 years of those wonderful golden years..while i dun remember much of it, i do remember the 80s music blaring from my family's car stereo..n i rediscovered them in my late teens and early 20s..classics like Bananarama's Love in the First Degree, Square Rooms, Rick Astley's Together Forever, Never Gonna Give You Up, Flashdance, Modern Talking and All their songs..but those were pointed out to mi by my former housemate really..Richard Marx, Sister Sledge's Frankie and other classics, Phil Oakney's Together in Electric Dreams, Starship's Sara and We built This City, Berlinda Carlisle's Moonlight Shadow, Circles in the Sand and Summer Rain, Human League's Don't you Want me Baby? Tarzan Boy, FOREVER YOUNG!!! and all the classic synthesizer electric blues...man..i wonder where all that hairspray, shoulder pads, curly hair and funky colour combinations went to..

Look at the dance steps n listen to the complex arhythmic electro beats man..close ur eyes and feel it rushhing through your veins again my friends...relive the 80s!

Revolution or Compromise?

Lots of pple have given me the comment that my blog posts are too damn chim/complicated, n i always see myself as sympathetic to the Post-modern idea of communication being really important to the man-in-the-street(aka "unchim" pples)..so i guess i'll hav to experiment with new story-telling techniques in bloggin...n this blog is a sort of experimental station after all so...here goes..

in the cool land of Ash, there were once 2 boys...one was called Eric and the other Jack..now if u hav not noticed, these are corny names as hell, but they will do for the purpose of this story..Eric was strong, fit, sporty and everything that a classic hero should be..Jack, however, was thin, scrawny, weak and not very confident of himself..

as they grew up, Eric always had the best that life could give him..n pple liked Eric..especially the gals..who were attracted to his strong, full muscles and cute boyish features..Jack, on the other hand, was not dat well-like by pple..he was shy and not able to express himself well, and was not a muscular, sporty male..in fact, he was quite poor at sports..and of course, the girls did not like Jack..he never felt so alone like when he was growing up

and when the time came to work..and this was a time before university opportunity was widely available, Eric took over his father's plantation in Ash and became a rich land owner..and Jack, not having the confidence to do anything great, decided to work for Eric as a servant..in Ash, servants were almost treated like slaves...n Jack was treated quite poorly during these years..

however, as the years passed, Jack grew stronger n more confident as he worked in the fields..the land seemed to give him a dignity he never had before..he knew at exactly wat time the sun would rise in the sky and the time it would set..he knew wat to add to the soil when it did not produce stuff..he knew the fastest way to harvest watever it was they were growing..

and Eric grew more and more dependent on his servants and people around him..he did nothing by himself..gradually, his muscles became fat and he put on weight..his mind was less sharp then before and he just found it hard to concentrate..

now Jack wanted to be free of Eric..n so, he led a group of servants in a huge revolution to win their freedom..because Eric was unwilling to let them go, which was quite normal really..Just when Jack n the servants were winning however, Eric decided to make a deal..if they compromised, they could share in the harvest and the land equally n live free..

this sounded good to Jack..n so they made a deal..n gradually, step by step, Jack came to become exactly like Eric..n the whole point of the revolution was just that..to become like the people who they rebelled against..

Does compromise kill revolution? Will weakness come when revolution ends? What does dis mean for a revolutionary like mi?

Gu Wa Zai

all the secondary school boys wanna be Ekin Cheng in Young and Dangerous rite? same here..when i was 14 i also wanted to be that kind of pai kia/ah beng..but of course i too ang-mo-fied so cannot make it..but wa lau eh, all of us used to think those students involved in gangs were damn cool la..especially since all the ah lians will gives them some gangsta luvin lor? hahahaha..siao eh,chup de lou?kua simi l*n? bei song limbei ai sio pa?

how did i ever survive secondary school man?

Closing Hymn

Long ago, before i went thru my dark period in the army, there was a time when i was a Saint...not a saint as in a godly Christian guy...but a Saint as in a son of St Andrews School (SAS)..also called the Fighting Saints, the place where boys became men, the House of St Andrews, the blue and white, the SA Commonality..n i was a very self-righteous loyalist back in those days

Of course, over the years a lot of things have changed and God has changed me also..however, the 3 men who still made the most important impact on my life remain Jesus Christ, Harry Tan and John Calvin (well my own human father also but he's different, being my dad)...

Harry Tan, our former principal before Priscilla Krempl, passed away of cancer on the 7th of August. He was never my principal, having left the year before i entered the halls of St Andrews, but he came back on and off and taught a few after-school classes in Additional Mathematics which i attended, so he was my teacher at least.I remember him being full of wisdom and insight, being fast on his feet, a real thinker and a godly man who gave fiery devotions from the pulpit at morning devotion(n i was privileged to hear just one of these when he was invited back). His most famous quote was, "if you only had 5 seconds before the examiner said 'pens down!' how would u go about solving this equation?"generations of A-maths students survived and even did well thanks to Harry.And he was an avid commentator on sports, especially rugby, which was a quaint sport in Singapore, a left-over from British days, quite unlike here in Australia where it is the contemporary secular religion..oh n those stories every National Day! (when a boxing ring was set up in the quadrangle and where the boxing club gave a display of their prowess) Those stories of how Harry used to drag boys caught in gang fights and after school scuffles into the quadrangle and have them slug it out in front of the whole school..den they'd have a taste of wat a real fight was like..every son of St Andrews aspired to be like Harry, the epitome of Christian manhood, back in the day..

and he's gone...like dat..thus ends an era of our House's history..the days that are upon us bring no end of challenge and adversity, while we must needs make do without our principal,gone on to be with our Lord in the bosom of heaven..Oh, dat one day when we have finished our journey here on Earth, we also might join in with Harry in God's presence thru Jesus..oh..dat the grief of having Harry taken from us in such manner will be comforted by the thought of the infinite joys of heaven, the least of which is to see him again..dear Saints, brothers and sisters, from Harry's example learn trust, grace and readiness...while in this tent of flesh let us never put away our hope for the Day of Redemption that is to come..

May the final word go to the last stanza of the St Andrews Hymn,

Before us and beside us,
Still holden by Thy hand,
A cloud of unseen witness,
Our elder comrades stand;
One family unbroken,
We join in one acclaim;
One heart, one voice uplifting
To glorify Thy name.

Scent of Orange Jasmine

People who really noe mi will tell u i'm actually quite a fan of chinese pop culture...actualli i think i've becom super cheena-fied these past 3 years in Australia..which i darn strange..since its supposed to be an ang mo country...all thanks to my (meng ada) Malaysian, Hong Kong, China and cheena Singaporean frens..

i dunno why also but this song keeps stickin in my mind sia..its qi li xiang by Jay Chou

the whole night it rained
my love is abundant like the rain
the leaves fall in the garden
my feelings piles high with them
you appear in every page of my book

last time in school write such things sure kena scolded by teacher for being corny la, lame la, waste time never pay attention in class la, ...blah blah blah..KKNB man..but really i like the poetry of it and how it rolls of the tongue (in chinese) easily..haiz..thats wat i aspire to be like..equally at home talking about Jay Chou's latest chinese MTV and the cute taiwanese chick inside(i like Taiwanese gals..they are so cute..at least in the MTVs la) and discussing John Calvin and Michel Foucault in the next breath

Dance to This!

I always thought Linkin Park (who reminds mi of an angry old man from SISPEC Bravo Company) could never be reconciled to my Christian beliefs..until i heard this song at the Queen's Birthday Convention at St Andrews' Cathedral down in Sydney during one of the Coffee Breaks..the running joke of the day was that ol' Phil Jensen, the Speaker, had a thing for Linkin Park as well..at his age, really..tsk tsk..

Well my fren-who-happens-to-be-a-Christian-dancer-and-whom-i-promised-to-write-posts-that-you-could-
understand-rather-than-chim-o-logy, try using this as one of ur dance tracks and choreograph a really powerful one...by God's grace of course..;-)

Delirijono

its been almost 2 years since Deliri-jono made an appearance here on this blog..its bout time i let him out again..be warned..

Psychedelic colours! i see the sun thru these bones here...tell mi of the oracles..how many bones does the human body have? thigh bone, leg bone, head bone, wish bone...dog bone? mummy had a doggie once ate chickens it did...blood is always tasty after desert,killed doggie for the kitten..

open doors always lead to endless corridors...high collars n keys for chains..prison cells are good building art..lock door n throw away the key in the shape of whats-is-name? Spongebob round shirt? what happened to Big Bird?Big equals the new lettering of letter-writing. Green is the new black..or black is the new black...or green?yellow?

Love is all around actualli is the best movie on screen tv that cable owns..show mi the money baby..mummy said i could..no..i said that what is the thing that is not near or far? here? hear..her..all you need is love...

Zozzie the mozzie i will turn you into a creature that ate half the world n developed indigestion..she's eaten her babies...baby hamster...baby friendstre..You are the only 1 to be with on the desert island...number of times you appears in the english dictionary...6238.3 times..the magic number ruling the world is none..Zero zebra zorse zack zhap zimmerman zarathustra zoroastrian...

i will be good n badness shall be a good boy in the class..no trouble..werewolf animagus morph phenomenology..give me a steak! no break in claiming a stake with a stake made of steel..i like metaphors of soaring birds n flying beasts...creepy crawlie..

mist too on mew renew view yew...asphalt roads are in good order..they wait for the burgers to fall upside down..hard landing..too much trouble i want only to be left alone..navarrone..into the zone of inner outerness...try some orange juice with that lava in the sun looks perfectly healthy..good tan n tone..misting listing on the property market i will buy some capitalist vegetables that Marx uprooted...wats the other name? boillabaise...

Confessions

i need pple less today than 10 years ago-why i hav no idea, but i seem to feel most comfortable alone..

pple hurt mi..i dun like being hurt..ergo i dun really like pple-to heck with the rest of the universe..its just God n mi..like good ol Henry David Thoreau

i dun like free will..its just too much power in the hands of a depraved n wicked humanity..which i already confessed i dun really like-i like directness, clarity n simplicity

i'd like to be loved but am hesitant to show love..for fear of being hurt..which would confirm my hypothesis that i dun like human beings..n sometimes, to confirm a hypothesis is scary..

there was a foolish man who used to believe that everything is mystical n everything had a deep spiritual meaning..he paid greatly for his folly..bad things happen in God's will but often without human reason..because human beings screwed it up in the first place..therefore i shd not like human beings..that fool is me..

serving and loving pple takes its toll on everyone..not least me..many pple i serve in Christ's love i'm not particularly fond of..n if they think that i irritate them and make their lives miserable by constantly challenging them to godliness..well, the feeling is mutual..they irk me n make mi miserable too..which is another reason i dun like human beings..because serving n loving them is so difficult..

these are my confessions..God help mi overcome these flaws

What was That..or Beer Chivalry

Hey beautiful..see ya..

chicken rice talk

i've never talked about a good night at Focus Bible study here in Newcastle Uni before..tonight was exceptionally good..n on several layers..

Michael n i cooked up some chicken rice with some help from a jar of chicken rice ingredients..i will same, however, that this was only half the amount needed for the rice..the other half came from steaming a chicken and several drumsticks for the chicken oil and then using that oil, with sliced ginger, to add to the mix we placed in the rice cooker, with the rice..n we also roasted a chicken separately...so we had white steamed chicken, roast chicken and lots of chicken rice..oh yes, also oyster sauce vegetables with some fish sauce and our own self-made chicken sauce..consisting of light soya sauce, sesame oil and sugar..as authentic as we possibly could do it..i think that everybody had a filling meal..Michael is a great cook who came up with the idea n its really interestin to work with him..

then we had Bible study..tonite was a bit small..only like 16 pple around n mostly regulars..i think it turned out well because we really had a great starting introduction discussion on knowing/meeting famous pple..lots of laughter n i feel that many of this year's first year kids have begun bonding with the older batches of students..inc myself..

we're currently going through Mark and tonite we did Mark 9-10..lots of interesting discussions and i was really challenged myself as a helper in Bible study (which is one reason why i consider tonite great)..that no one has exclusive access to Jesus was really challenging..esp in the context of our discussions about responsibility, office and worth..also that greatness in God's currency is servanthood..that was a gd and humbling reminder..finally the hardest lesson of all, and that is, accepting pple in Jesus' name especially when they add nothing to our worth..because thats the meaning of accepting children.. they are nothing and worthless to a king..yet Jesus says accept these because in doing so, you are accepting God and Christ..i struggle with this because i dun like how this passage has been traditionally used by christians to emotionally blackmail others into not opposing pple who come with impure motives.."no, must accept the guy, even if he is actually very wicked and wants to harm u"..its true in one sense..but dat does not mean we shd b foolish..n i dun like the high moralising, legalistic attitude that Christians twist this passage into..so, you must do good to all the children in the world because Jesus said you must love and accept them and thats the end of the christian message fullstop..n u must accept pple from all backgrounds without telling them that Jesus also commands them to change..its not so shallow man..n lastly, i struggle with this because many pple whom i grew up with n stressed this passage in its most literal meaning were the most prejudiced, bigotted and unkind pple i noe..but i realise that Jesus does want me to accept pple and love them, but not just stay there, but move on to the central theme of Jesus Christ showing this loving acceptance in dying on the cross for sinners..alrite..its not always hard doctrines that i need to affirm..

n thanks Sheeana(codename) for answering "male pride" when asked wat made the disciples ashamed to tell Jesus what they were discussing on the road (it was about who was the greatest incidentally)..that really amused mi..always sobering to hear a healthy dose of feminism..even in Bible study..

n it was good to talk to Cyril about wat i term, the Shaun Foo topic...all u guys who were there last yr end in McDonalds near my place after dinner, esp Kumu shd noe wat this refers to..i wish that the church would not make the topic a sin, or rather, a taboo subject..in understanding, be men..therefore, do the right thing n talk!!

n i found Melissa Loh on facebook last nite..added her n am expecting to b given hell for my trouble..who's Mel Loh..well my frens from the NWO n mayb Richard will understand from this: Sesame Street today is brought to u by the letters N, J and C as well as the numbers 2,0 & 3..figure it out..