Creature Comfort

Why i still support Holland

2010-07-12T23:31:00.002+07:00

My love affair with Dutch football began at the 2002 World Cup in South Korea. I remember the talk of the town being of the incredible transformation of the South Korean team under Guus Hiddink and how the South Koreans played a style of soccer that was oddly reminiscent of the Total Football approach of the 1974 Dutch Finals team. I then remember being fascinated by this Total Football idea and the Dutch system of soccer. I watched a few of Holland's matches then and liked what i saw, even though they weren't at their best form. Since then, my love for Dutch Football has grown, as has my respect for their style. Yes, they lost 1-0 to Spain yesterday morning. Yes, their style is far from the Total Football of Johan Cruyf's era. Yes, they didn't play as beautifully as i would have liked or as well as their match against Uruguay. Yes, i'm sad to admit, the Spanish played better and deserved to win (though i argue based only on that game's performance.) But still my heart beats Oranje. And here's 3 reasons why.

Firstly, the Dutch team had more than one player capable of being a dangerous star striker. And in this respect, they're more Total than the 1974 Total Football team. Obviously, men like Robben down the right flank, Van Persie down the middle and the Dirk Kuyt-Wesley Schneider combination down the left flank were dangerous enough, with strong midfield performance by the likes of Van Bommel and van Bronckhorst that have translated into goal scoring shows in previous matches. Other team members like Van der Vart and Van der Wiel were dark horses that i believe will mature in the future. Others like Khalid Bourlahrouz, Jan Huntelaar, Elia and Ibrahim Affelay i would have liked to see more of, especially in the substitutions Holland had yesterday. Affelay, especially i believe, would have made a tremendous performance if he had come on as the last sub yesterday morning.

Secondly, this team really had fantastic teamwork, a certain camaraderie and powerful esprit de corps that made defence intuitive and strongly challenged Spain for possession of the ball throughout the 120 minutes (44 percent). In contrast, the German team only managed a pitiful 30 odd percent possession of the ball when matched against Spain. The rapid closing down of Spanish players and closing of gaps in the defence was done intuitively and with a flair that was totally different from boring Italian Catenaccio routine. Moreover, this Dutch side really believed in their skill, game, cause and their winning. Unfortunately, their luck ran out, which is always a prerequisite at such knock out stages. (imagine what would have happened if Fernando Torres had pulled his hamstring before, rather than after that winning goal had been scored by Iniesta and had been taken off the pitch to make it 10 men for both sides)

Finally, i believe this side played better than the 1974 Total Football generation in some key aspects. The reality of Total Football (and something many don't realise) is that it is actually a very inefficient system, where everybody has to be able to do everybody else's job just as well as their own. The concentration, energy, skill and teamwork neccessary for this are incredible and thats why its so loved, but Total Football just can't be sustained in the long run, especially in gruelling competitions of the World Cup's stature. Moreover, Total Football was always reliant on a very strong and gifted captain or leader like Johan Cruyff who could see the possiblities and direct the flow of the game. Total Football isn't democratic football, contrary to what some mistakenly believe. Not everyone was a scorer, only one or two, whom the others filled in for and supported. As such, the current Dutch side with multiple danger men is much more Total than Total Football.

They change and adapt, as i believe they will after this tournament. Their next chance might be in 30 years (though i hope not) but they'll keep fine-tuning and attacking. Thats why i love the Dutch.

The Grace of the King

2010-02-28T19:13:00.002+07:00

As i sat through Greg's talk at Unichurch tonight i had some reflections on my character and my attitudes in life and the areas where i came short were revealed.

The reading was from Matthew 1:1-17 which was really what John Dickson had covered in his first talk for NTE last Dec. But the reminder that Jesus is the King who is the Son of David, heir of David's throne and through 2 Sam 7 prophesied to be the King of the Universe was wonderful. And not only is Jesus the Son of David, he also is the son of Abraham, through whom God promised to bless whoever blessed Abraham and curse whoever cursed Abraham in Genesis 12. In other words, Greg said, whoever had a positive relationship with Abraham would be blessed. And Jesus is Abraham's son, according to Matthew. He is firstly, the New Abraham, the origin of God's new people, and secondly, Jesus inherits the promises to Abraham: whoever has a positive relationship with Jesus will be blessed by God with all the blessings of heaven. 'Jesus is Lord' should be our response, as it was for the earliest christians who received the gospel.

Secondly, Greg talked about the women in Jesus' lineage whom Matthew records for us,again like John Dickson. These were Jesus' skeletons in the closet: Tamar, who acted like a prostitute to sleep with her father-in-law, Rahab, a 'working girl', Ruth, a Moabite, and Bathsheba, who married a Hittite and then committed adultery with David. Incest, prostitution and adultery are paraded in Jesus' genealogy in Matthew 1. The point Matthew seems to make is that Jesus is king of and for the 'skeleton people', men and women who have ugly pasts and dirty lives.

Son of David, son of Abraham, king of the Universe, king of the skeletons. Thats who Jesus Christ is. Which is where my summary of Greg's Talk ends and my reflection comes in. How often do i want to judge people who are sinful and who still live in sin? How often have i thought that these people are unclean and unworthy of my affection and concern? How often have i desired revenge and thought malicious thoughts against those who have hurt, offended or slighted me? How often have i shown forgiveness, grace, mercy, kindness and love for my enemies and those who hate me? Clearly, i can see that i am far, far from the character, image and behaviour of this Jesus of Nazareth, whom i call my king.

"There were some present at that very time who had told him about the Galileans whose blood Pilate had mingled with their sacrifices. And he answered them, "Do you think that these Galileans were worse sinners than all the other Galileans, because they suffered in this way? No, i tell you; but unless you repent, you will all likewise perish.Or those eighteen on whom the tower in Siloam fell and killed them:do you think that they were worse offenders than all the others who lived in Jerusalem? No, i tell you; but unless you repent, you will all likewise perish."
Luke 13:1-5

I am Such a Loser!!

2010-02-14T03:04:00.002+07:00

Guys in the know, remember those times at the SA when we used to laugh at losers who spent time in the kitchen on New Years' Eve helping their mothers with reunion dinner preparations when others were out with their (probably imaginary) galfrens?

well guess what? i was one of those yesterday evening helping my mum with the Yu-sheng and the fish steaming..and i told her to add more of my sauce mix but she wouldnt listen..so the fish came out tasting a bit more blend than i would have liked..and she complained about my rice not being soft enough when it tasted like restaurant quality stuff to me..Mum!!!

Man, i am such a flipping loser right guys?! haha

The Social Basis of Tax

2010-02-13T00:31:00.004+07:00

It was Malcolm Gladwell, in his writing for the New Yorker and his fantastic books, The Tipping Point, Blink, Outliers and What the Dog Saw, who helped me realise that the majority way of thinking is not always the right way of thinking.

As Tsang, Gabriel, Varun, Shamir and myself met last nite for a short while after steamboat with my singapore bible study group, we had some interesting conversations, reminiscing about life, our St Andrews School days and onward to politics and a social commentary on the state of our country.

one of the topics that stuck in my mind was that of taxation. Tsang was saying Singapore was a country where social studies students were taught that indirect taxation helps the poor and those from low income households. He pointed out the incongruity of it all, because for the poor, consummables such as food, water and electricity are the main things they spend on. These are taxed. And, the taxes they pay for consummables form a larger percentage of their income then for the rich. How can indirect taxation be good for the poor?

Well, i said, only if 1) indirect taxation is used to directly fund additional health and medical, education and welfare services that are only available to the poor [some form of means testing determines who is 'poor'], 2) the poor [determined by means testing] are given rebates for the cosummables they spend on, for as long as there exists an indirect tax on consummables, or 3) those who have been means tested and found to be financially lacking are given coupons that waive the Goods and Services Tax when they purchase consummables [and present these coupons] or 4) remove basic consummables like food, water and electricity from the list of taxable items in the GST. But of course, across-the-board application is always inefficient compared to means-testing.

In all our discussions i realised one thing, and that is, what on earth is the justification for taxation of any sort? To be more specific, why do citizens in a democratic country allow their governments to tax them? Most people think that because my government has the power to do so this ends the matter. Well, what if the government decides it is within their power to legalize murder? Some will say that taxation is there to finance public services and the salaries of public servants. Of course. But thats not close enough to the heart of the matter. We pay taxes so that the administration of the country may ensure that all citizens have basic needs, like healthcare, education and public transport. Taxation is about state intervention in the individual accumulation of private wealth, so that public needs are met for all in the community. The very idea of taxation is against the principle of a laissez faire free market economy.

Secondly, because taxation is state intervention in private wealth for the benefit of the larger public, it is always biased towards those with greater private wealth who may benefit the public most. In other words, the rich pay more because they have more to give, and the poor pay less because they have less to give. Thats also known as income tax. But wait a minute! thats not the case in indirect taxation..every one pays the 3 odd 4 percent in Singapore's GST or the 7 odd percent in the UK's VAT..why? fairness for all? but taxation as a concept can never be fair. Can fairness for all really mean everyone pays the same amount? You wouldnt think of getting someone in the lowest income bracket to pay 49% of tax, the same as the head of a billion dollar firm, in the interests of 'fairness', would you? In fact, to be fair means exactly the opposite, that not everyone pays the same amount of tax.

therefore, whats the end of the matter? the way that the majority of economists think about indirect taxation is wrong. As long as the phrase 'indirect taxation' contains the root word 'tax' and behaves like a tax, intervening in my private wealth on state orders for the benefit of the greater populace, well then, it has to be graduated for different income earners, shouldnt it? so Singapore, take my suggestion and implement one of the first three recommendations i gave above, or some combination of them, won't ya?

Animal Instinct in Me

2010-02-09T23:56:00.002+07:00

My fav. Cranberries MTV! ever wondered why the road signs are all reversed? my theory is that justice is back to front..instead of protecting the innocent and helping a single mum care for and raise her two sons, the courts now punish the innocent and victimize the single parent, preventing her from caring for and raising them..the idea is that human justice always miscarries..i like that!

Dolores Oh Dolores

2010-02-03T01:43:00.002+07:00

The haunting voice of Dolores O'Riordan haunts the moments before i drop off to sleep and in that in-between state before waking..God its at these times that i curse my not-being born Irish..stunning bodies and stunning brogue

Communicating the Gospel

2010-02-03T00:18:00.003+07:00

as i sat through Bible Study last night, i gained some very interesting insights into what sharing the Gospel of Jesus Christ involves. I had forgotten that Christians are indeed called to be signposts for Christ. we give true, clear, honest directions and we need to be noticed, but we're not drawing attention to ourselves, but rather, the message, in this case the cross of Christ.

also, i was convicted of a central reality that i'd not consiously articulated for 4 years in Australia: people are not conversion targets to look good on a list of statistics about my faith or my church. Instead i need to view people as long-term gospel relationships that are cultivated for the long (namely, eternal) view. This changes the way i relate to my non-Christian cousins, for instance. If i truly view them as long term gospel relationships, then i should visit them at Chinese New Year and seek to get to know them more, while presenting a christian view on the issues they face.

another thing i took away from last night's study was the fact that as Christians we often don't realise that behind the cutting, strange or defiant questions may indeed be deeper issues and deeper hurts that need to be addressed. Miss S related how people had asked her questions about sexuality and the Christian perspective which masked deeper issues that prevented them coming to the Cross. Only by getting to know people in long term gospel relationships can we bring out these issues and address them with the words and love of Christ.

Finally, i was challenged to think about the issue of contextualising the gospel for clarity and understanding amongst different groups. Here Eugene's example of christians in the part of the Philippines where some missionaries work and where he has visited strikes a deep chord. Do ask me in person about this sometime if you're interested because this public domain has limitations to what i want to speak about. Even so, i think we should distinguish between good and bad contextualisation. Contextualisation should never be done to encourage or pander to the sinfulness of human beings in a particular culture, and the prosperity gospel is one example of bad contextualisation, since it encourages human greed at worst and blurs our focus on an eternal destiny at best. But i will honesty admit, i'm still figuring this one out, as its a thorny issue.

l'esprit d'escalier

2010-01-31T22:29:00.002+07:00

The "spirit of the stair" its called. l'esprit d'escalier. imagine having an awkward conversation or a quarrel with someone and being tongue tied and not knowing what to say. Then as you're walking down the stairs on ya way to the coat rack you suddenly come up with this brilliant comeback or sarcastic comment you should have made that would surely have left the opposition at a loss for words and reeling in disarray, winning the match like Federer versus Davydenko at the Melbourne Open, 2-6, 6-3, 6-0, 7-5.

i find that true for myself in many situations as well, even those of a non-confrontational nature. For instance, at the IMPACT Conference last week for fresh australian students trying to link up with churches and/or campus christian groups down under, i found myself tongue-tied at sudden moments when called upon to talk about my university or what Architecture as a course was like or even why prospective students coming over in June should consider Newcastle-upon-Antipodes instead of Sydney (that fantastic Con of a city) or Melbourne (2nd best Sydney). All i could come up with were some nervous jokes about Newcastle being more regional and scenic than the metropolitan cities which are great breeding grounds for vampires who hate the sun, and where rascism is open and above board rather than disguised and hypocritical. Better to get bashed in broad daylight than stabbed in the back at night right?

Or at Bible study last Friday when i should have said that the new Michael Morrow song i'd like to share was meaningful for the lines "His is the right to rule my life, mine is the joy to live for Him" and how contemporary christianity has man (specifically each individual..read: me) as the centre of the universe, with God revolving around him, doing my bidding and at my beck and call whereas the New Testament is quite clear that Jesus Christ is the centre of the universe, with me at the periphery revolving around Him, to do His bidding and His calling. (at least, thats how the early church preached Christ). Like Tim Keller i want to see a Copernican Revolution in our view of God, life, and the meaning of existence and the best way to do it is from the ground up, in small Bible Study groups around the world.

Instead, all i said was i like this song because its very challenging for christians and because i think contemporary christian music doesn't challenge christians out of complacency enough. i know. Pathetic isn't it? The spirit of the stair strikes again.

The banned P-word?

2010-01-14T00:09:00.002+07:00

i was a bit apprehensive going to Shaun's for Bible study with people whom i've either not had Bible study with for some time(Shaun and Dene) or not had Bible study with before(James, Sam, Miss J and W). especially when you've brought along Mango salad crafted in your own HDB backyard kitchen..about 2 hours worth of washing, slicing, dicing, grating and tossing...i wasnt sure how well it would turn out but it apparently did go down well with all involved..praise God for that!

now study involved Phillipians 4:4-13, courtesy of James about rejoicing regardless of circumstance, whether with plenty or in need. i enjoyed the discussions involved, especially the off-tangent ones when Miss J and James talked about their banned P-word and then Miss W talking about the fact that its so hard telling people about Jesus maybe because God hasnt chosen them and then J and James started laughing..and then i got it! Pre-destination!! so thats what the P-word was, not some part of the male human anatomy..right!

James was very apprehensive talking about the P-word and God's sovereignty and his view was the moderate evangelical one that we meet God halfway..or maybe 60-40...70-30? there was some tossing up of God's sovereignty means man's powerlessness and inability to choose..and i told him that i didnt quite see it in that light. then we changed the subject hurriedly..whew! it seemed..

was it really a relief? well, yes and no. for some of us, i genuinely think that other topics would prove more beneficial to their immediate christian growth..for others however, clearing some of the misconceptions about Calvinism and the reformed view of God's Word would have been more helpful..but i agree that this was not the time to discuss the issue..

i like my singapore bible study group..it has the flavour of Focus in Newcastle with people from different christian backgrounds and at different stages..and its non-denominational, by and for a group of christians truly keen to read God's Word and to live with Jesus as king (even though we may not use those exact words) and to share Jesus with our friends..whats not to be excited about?! especially in recent weeks i've been receiving some pretty discouraging stuff from friends like S and I and P who claim to be christian but have just shown in their living that they've got different priorities from the king of the universe..other not so positive stuff is Ian's Dad isnt too well and i'm praying for him..and i'm just discouraged by the state i've found my home church in Singapore in everytime i come back..well at least this week at church we'll be starting Bible study sessions on Saturday night..

so i Should rejoice in Jesus as i draw strength from Him, eh? cheers guys!

Cello Suite 1 with thanks to J Dickson

2010-01-13T14:54:00.002+07:00

This is Bach's Cello Suite 1 which John Dickson showed us in his final NTE talk..Don't blame the poor performance of a piece on the composition..again this is a great performance of a great composition, but by Rostropovich rather than YoYo Ma..thanks John Dickson for introducing me to the greatest composer ever. i liked some classical music before this but now, i'm hooked, especially to Johan Sebastian Bach!

From my Liberal perspective

2010-01-11T16:01:00.002+07:00

i pride myself as a true political liberal, not the kind you find in the Sydney Morning Herald who rattle off hackneyed positions without conscious deliberation. Genuine liberals are open-minded and distrusting of human nature and the mob, friendly to all religions even if they have their own viewpoints and concerned for the welfare of all peoples, races, tongues and religions. True liberals never condone violence, oppression or coercion of any kind, not even for the greater good. There is no greater good in the implicit approval of evil. i am a true democrat and will always be one, notwithstanding my conservative evangelical religious beliefs.

i booed the American evangelical lobby for turning a blind eye to sin in the previous administration and i've attacked Richard Dawkins for his stupid empirical delusions that human beings need help from religion to kill each other. we don't. I've always stood for multiculturalism and tolerance outside the major Australian cities.

Violence to settle disputes is never justifiable. Especially not when settling disputes over words. i was on the ground in KL on friday when the fire-bombings of churches and christian property began and i know the majority of my Malay and Muslim friends do not condone these actions even if they disagree regarding the issue at stake. From my study of group dynamics, i know that such disturbances and mob behaviour never arise without agitators and saboteurs.

these people must now be located and incarcerated under the maximum sentence. They are subversives and a threat to the internal security of any civilisation. I believe in the process of law and the courts. Under the infamous Internal Security Act, which exists for such situations, these denizens must now be arrested. Yes, their case must be tried by judicial process and openly but the state in which these crimes have been perpertrated must now show its political will to act if it is truly sincere about peace and harmony.

Some names are worth dying for; but there is no name which is worth killing for.

my cool KL dream

2010-01-10T00:16:00.003+07:00

a primeval landscape stretches out before me, shorty spiny brownish grass below the edge of a low cliff that faces the sea. the lens pans out and rises to take in a scene of strange wildlife running on the plateau above the sea. Flocking, herding and swarming heedless of danger. No sign of humanity anywhere. next, scenes flash past of mountains and volcanoes and upheavals of the landscape with colourful swirls of gas and lava. i wake. Stumbling blindly for the toilet, i realise in my groggy state of semi-sleep that i've dreamt up a fantastic movie idea.

coming back from my toilet call, i hurriedly jot down the words, veteran film-maker, wild life, scenery, James Cameron before going back to my world of wonders.

i've had this dream or something similar to it before. once, when i was really young..only that time, there were dinosaurs in it, namely Allosaurus, a Triassic creature, first of the great flesh eating, rapid hunting bipeds. i had this dream while in Junshoong's house staying when i visited KL recently and caught up with my Malaysian friends from Newcastle University and FOCUS in particular. i reckon that i must have been influenced by Avatar and from what i wrote in my little diary while half asleep, i probably was. that being said, i think the idea of doing a film documentary of a prehistoric world before man is a fascinating and original idea. Of course, Walking with Dinosaurs and Walking with Mammals already did something similar, but never before focusing on the landscape. My dream movie indeed.

well, that one goes into my catalogue of dream scapes and dream compositions. wonder if Neil Gaiman's library of all the dream books and compositions ever dreamt really does exist somewhere huh? till next time, sweet dreams.

Bodyguards and Assassins

2009-12-27T15:57:00.003+07:00

i must confess, i've been nurturing a chinese loving side of my character ever since going to Australia...so i began watching cantonese drama serials and chinese movies while in Australia and have enjoyed hanging out at Lunar back home in Singapore with Kian and Richard..eh, Kian..when's the next time we go ah??

last night we went to catch Bodyguards and Assassins, the new movie out in cinemas in Singapore and Malaysia which was nearly 10 years in the making because the director couldn't make up his mind about who to cast and what angle to go for regarding the storyline..it was indeed a bit top heavy with too many famous Hong Kong actors and actresses..the plot transitioned a bit too abruptly as well since the script was probably redone once every 6 months for 10 years..and there were too many holes in the filming..such as when Donnie Yen of Ip Man fame, acting as a bodyguard, charged headlong into an assassin's galloping horse and was flung off to the side dead. Well, the horse disappeared from the film scene at that point and the assassin was shown standing dirty and forlorn and looking like his mount had been plucked from under him by magic..he had this vacant what-the-hell-just-happened-look which summed up the audience' thought train at that moment. Or when a female bodyguard held shut the door to the assassins' hideout so none could escape as explosives went off and blew the place to bits. In the aftermath, we see the hideout destroyed but the actress' body lying in the rubble intact. As a former combat engineer, this stuff jumps out at me as being ridiculously amusing.

But i credit the overall storyline as being good. After all its based on the real story of Dr Sun Yat Sen visiting Hong Kong in 1906 to coordinate the resistance to the corrupt Chinese Qing Dynasty and having Qing assassins sent to kill him. He was protected by a group of bodyguards and a body double, many of whom didn't even know who it was they were protecting. The story moves through the few days before Sun arrives and the assassination attempt on the day itself. The angle taken of men giving their lives in exchange for someone they don't know to ensure the success of the Chinese Revolution is something which works with movie goers.

My favorite part of the film was when one of the bodyguards said that the revolution was so important that he couldn't stay home while events played out and that in times like those, nobody could claim they were just innocent civilians or disinterested business folk..life as normal was foolish when great events were unfolding..

reminds me of what the bible says, as in the days of Noah before the flood, so it will be at the end of the age, when the people of this world will be buying and selling, giving and being given in marriage, until the floods came..the King has come,died and risen, and the world now lives in a very small window of opportunity for repentance before the King returns and judges this world..those who have been forgiven by Christ and are part of His family must not think that life can carry on as normal without regard for the urgency of the gospel and the repentance of sins. Some things are not that important in light of historical events, events such as the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ and His coming return.

Reflections on 09

2009-12-26T18:08:00.002+07:00

09 is the year i graduated with my Bachelors (by God's grace, no room for pride) so it will be memorable for me, always.

Other reasons for remembering this year include getting together with Yueen Mun...i'm still getting used to my not being a single anymore so don't worry, you're not the only shocked one (whoever you are who's reading this, and if its Yueen Mun, hi there, i'm screwed i know)

09 was also memorable for a great NTE mission where i did my first talk before a youth group and discovered Andrew Reid and John Dickson at the 'Living for the King' conference. NTE is one of those rare opportunities to prepare and do a talk and get some preaching practice.

09 was also the year that i did New Testament 1 for the Moore College Provisional Training Certificate (PTC) and learnt just how provocative Jesus is and how much the king demands a decision whether we're for or against Him, without there being a middle ground. And so it was that i also decided to be more provocative for Jesus and less retreating.

09 was the year the Left learned that it couldnt rejoice at the collapse of markets and the Right learned that market liberalization is recipe for corruption. The Greens learned that rhetoric and scare tactics go only so far at Copenhagen and Climate-change Skeptics learned that Evangelical Christianity is not their friend after all. The scene is ripe for the second entrance of the King to restore order amid chaos.

Finally, 09 is the year when my carefully cultivated Christian cynicism took a blow when Charis Full Gospel Church began doing huge amounts of evangelism and not a few church members started living for Jesus Christ solely through the work of God's Spirit in their lives. God does change people and work without the input of men..i have been deeply humbled..ah humility! what an amazing discovery

Finishing the degree

2009-11-15T12:21:00.003+07:00

i do sincerely apologise for the long delay in updating this blog and to all my friends with whom relations have been strained through this..the past one and a half months have swamped me as wave after wave of final assignments and design crits hit the shore, so to speak..well, needless to say, its done and dusted..and by God's infinite Grace, i would have graduated..if everything i pass that is.

how does it feel to be done every semester? well, as we in the School of Architecture and the Built Environment here at the University of Newcastle always point out, our semester ends with a whimper, not a bang as for many who have final written, paper media examinations..our process of ending the semester is that much more sublime..

you see, instead of the final, written examination, we have the verbal design examination, or as the name for this goes, the critique (Crit in short)..this is where the entire semester's work is presented and defended within the space of 3 -5 minutes, in front of a panel of design judges. so, it isn't true that Architecture students have no final exam. We do, face-to-fringing-face with our dreaded Design examiners. and whats worse is that we sit through the examinations of our fellow peers , who in turn, sit through ours. and, unlike run-of-the-mill classroom presentations, Crit panelists do go for blood as the norm. I would not expect any outside the Design community to grasp the import of this, really.

i had my design exam for my final developed design phase in October, after which whether one has passed or failed the semester becomes frightfully clear. My final two phases after that were also-rans, to determine whether i got a credit or distinction or barely survived. So, as i said, even though i was swamped until now, the semester really ended with a whimper after the final Crit.

What does it feel to end the semester, especially since, this ends my Bachelor's education? numb actually, because Architecture is a two-tier system that consists of a 3 year Bachelor's degree and 2 year Master's. The first degree really isnt much since one isn't qualified to really design and build and isnt an Architect yet. The second used to be called the B.Arch before it was changed to M.Arch, for no other reason than to inflate the credentials of those who possess it (tipping my hat to Garry Stevens, that insightful Architectural Sociologist). You can't have the second without the first and the first without the second is pretty useless. so, in sum, the final countdown for me is two years more (if by God's Grace they let me out of the doghouse of my Bachelor's this year)

and, needless to say, i am pretty tired of it all. For those who know me, you're aware no doubt that i am no fan of the Establishment and establishment norms. the whole careerism and rat-race thing is about as inspiring to me as pesticide to the cockroach. maybe Philip Jensen and the Sydney Anglicans have brain-washed me, but they are so much more perceptive and discerning about the nature of things and life and God than many of my prosperity gospel believing friends. To them i counsel two things; first, if you chase success and careerism, then by them you will be mastered and finally disillusioned, as the man who chases mirages and phantasms of an oasis in the desert. Second, those who take the road that seems the less in hope and prosperity while the more in suffering and sacrifice are they who truly are wise, for thus do they gain a reward for which there is no measure. Let this be the Doom of Jonathan, if so you will.

Life after Naivete

2009-09-15T20:14:00.002+07:00

On the eve of my biggest Design Submission to date, i ponder life and the changes that make us what we are through music..and i'm drawn to The Cranberries' When You're Gone..Irish folk tunes and Irish singers such as Dolores O'Riordan, Sinead O'Connor and U2's Bono move me..hmm, i was going to add Annie Lennox to the mix but wasn't sure she was Irish..why do i like these singers and their music? The sense of Dystopia maybe, the feeling that our society is the lost child of parents who abandoned God and live Outside Eden..maybe the falleness of the human condition..maybe the idea that we're all looking for something that we can't find..maybe the idea that no relationship can fulfill except with a Father who made us and to whom the song below is really addressed to..

In the midst of Lamentations we find the verse, "Because of the Lord's tender mercies we are not consumed, for His love endures forever. His mercies are new every morning. Great is Your Faithfulness." and in the midst of Habakkuk, with all the fierce anger of God being played out, good ol' Haba says, " Though the fig tree does not blossom, nor there be fruit on the vine, the produce of the olive fail and the fields yield no food, the flock be cut off from the fold and there be no herd in the stalls, yet i will rejoice in the LORD; i will take joy in the God of my salvation."

I do not understand the plans of God because of the thorns in my flesh..but one thing i know, that by the Grace of God "i spring higher with a thorn in the foot than the man with two whole feet."

The Divine Exchange

2009-09-08T20:24:00.002+07:00

Tonight at Focus, i felt my pulse quicken during the study. You see, we've been studying the book of 1 Peter together for the past couple of weeks. Reading stuff about submission and being called to holiness, i honestly felt like i'd heard it all before and struggled in being inspired. To be fair, i realise God's Word needs to be respected and heard in its entirety, whether we enjoy it or are interested in it or not, whether we're inspired or bored with the passage or not. But as a sinful human being, i must admit there are topics and passages i like more than others.

So you can well imagine my surprise tonight at a passage that i had read before and thought i knew well, suddenly coming alive and bearing what seemed like newness and freshness for me. We were reading 1 Peter 3:13 to 4:6. That passage has a lot of thorny issues at first read but really if we understand the context of the surrounding verses and the history of Peter's audience (without getting side-tracked with preaching to the dead for instance) its possible to understand where Peter is coming from and what he's saying.

but when we came to 1 Peter 3:18 it seemed like something struck me. At first i couldn't put my finger on it, until we came to discussion about what people from all ages have in common. The reference at that point was, you guessed it, 1 Pet 3:18. " For Christ died for sins once for all, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God. He was put to death in the body but made alive by the Spirit,.." There, in no uncertain terms, we have it..The Divine Exchange..Jesus Christ, the Righteous, taking the place of the Unrighteous, namely, you, me and everyone in the entire history of humanity.

My pulse started racing real fast. Oh the wonders of the Cross! In the layman's language of the dirty fish market, we have the exact picture of Redemption: a customer makes his selection of fish and pays for it with gold coins. An exchange occurs, a transaction. Smelly fish for precious gold? The Man-of-men for me, the sinner? Who says the Christian God is miserly and conservative? The words "generous" and "radical" seem much more appropriate.

And just when you thought its too good to be true, Peter, that shrewd fisherman, throws in a buy-one-get-one-free fish sale. For Christ did not just die for the unrighteous, he died once for all. The Divine Exchange took place not just for us who live Anno Domini, but for all mankind, from Adam to John the Baptist. Just like a soccer game where a substitute is called on to play in place of a non-performing player (and lets face it, in this game of life, we're all non-performing players), Jesus was our substitute on the Cross, except that, he didn't sub for just one game or one season, he subbed for all games and all seasons and all players.

Thank God is really all i can say, in humility...

On Fear

2009-09-01T22:00:00.003+07:00

Fear paralyses and saps.

Fear diminishes and taints.

Fear disheartens and disturbs.

Fear destroys and kills.

Fear prejudices and colours.

Fear breaks and tears.

Fear threatens.

Fear fails, disappoints.

Fear is trouble, Big Trouble.

"Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little Death that brings obliteration.
I will not Fear.
I will let my fear pass over me and through me,
I will turn the inner eye to observe its path.
Where that fear has gone there shall be nothing.
Only i remain."
-Litany against Fear,
Frank Herbert,
Dune

Nights

2009-08-28T21:42:00.003+07:00

while at Merdeka Night with my Malaysian friends i found myself completely enjoying the cultural performances that we in Singapore disdain outright or ignore, such as the DiKay Barat, Bollywood dances, Silat performances and even, God forbid, the Chinese fan dance..i came away with the conviction that Malaysians (overseas at least) love and feel more strongly for their country than us Singaporeans. Inspite of the deep dissatisfaction many Malaysians feel for their government and leaders (and i know this personally), they seem to love their land more than those of us who live across that disputed landmark, the causeway.

one day i pray that my countrymen will love their homes and fellow citizens without and beyond the nationalistic, propagandistic jingoism that rings full of shallow cliches during our own National Day.

In other news, university commitments reared their ugly head this week and i fought a desperate battle keeping my head above the water while threading as hard as i possibly could. All to no avail as i emerged from my Schematic submission Crit bloodied and wounded. Still, dignity i maintained and cool non-chalance..long have i learned that fear is a poison that kills both mind and soul, especially in this profession of Architecture. This much they may take from me, neither my dignity nor my integrity.

I've been reading Yancey's Soul Survivor for a while (not this week though) and must say that Yancey has always been my theological conscience. So whenever i feel like i've got a firm handle on God's Word or God or that i've got everything sorted down pat, i pick up my Yancey and read about Soren Kiekergard, GK Chesterton, CS Lewis, Martin Luther King Jr, Gandhi and Shusaku Endo. And i emerge chastised and humbled. Always. I was especially impacted by the biography of Dr C Everet Koop, the Surgeon General of America during the Reagan administration lately and being a public Christian. Lest you think that Koop was your run of the mill Evangelical lobbyist promoted to the White House for favours done to the incumbent administration, well, you're wrong. By maintaining his integrity and Christian compassion in issues like the AIDS education programme of the 80s, providing proper care for homosexual AIDS sufferers inspite of disagreeing with their lifestyle and in not covering up the scientific facts that were inconclusive about the harmful effects of abortion on women (even though he disagreed with abortion) Koop was vindicated as a genuine Christian, not just a political Christian. He suffered for this by being vilified by the Conservative Christian lobbyists of the time of course as having 'sold out'. I think Jesus was proud of him though.

Finally, i started reading Galatians with Dene this week in our one-to-one Bible study times. I've been wondering about my Christian stand toward Law and Grace since having that conversation with S.F of the NWO. I knew all along that the Christian should not abuse God's Grace, for, as FF Bruce famously put it, "Christian Liberty is not Christian License" and that we are saved by grace, not law-keeping, but is the idea of a middle ground between the two (the commonly held view) even Biblical? Are not we Christians supposed to "love the Lord our God with all our heart and mind and soul, with our whole being"? Or else, like the Laodicean church in Revelations 3, "I know your works, you are neither cold nor hot ...So, because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth." The language of the Bible is clear that God does not like wishy-washy, higgledy-piggledy Christianity. What about Law and Grace? Well, my adventure continues but thats enogh for one night. Until next time, see ya's!

November Rain

2009-08-13T00:50:00.002+07:00

Please indulge a Guns and Roses Moment..oh for the strength of Slash! May i also surmount it all like Slash on Elton John's Grand Piano, ascendant, transcendant in musical ecstasy.

Updates

2009-08-12T00:54:00.002+07:00

Some of my FOCUS bible study group went out recently for a guys' dinner at an Indian takeaway place. During the conversations, one of us talked candidly about his difficulty in relating to ladies and asked for some advice and counsel. Immediately, we all started this soul-baring confession of our own difficulties in this area. Knowing the monkey that i am, i flippantly and defiantly declared,"all i can say about the opposite sex is that it isnt worth it." Of course, a lot of this is from bitter experience which i've sworn not to bring up again, but it touched some raw nerves and (almost) reopened some old wounds.

today, some friends i met began talking to me about the whole singleness and dating thing again, though of course, in not such diplomatic language. i'm beginning to discern a discomforting pattern here. Added to all this is the Newcastle Christian Students' (NCS) Mission Week talk entitled "The Ultimate Sex" next week at the Bar-On-The-Hill, Thursday. What a way to evangelize your lost friends..just bring them to a talk on the ultimate sex and what Jesus has to say about that. My almost-monastic peace and quiet away from such thorny issues has been totally disrupted.

i do not know what to make of all this completely. What is it that God is trying to say? or is He saying anything about this at all? Man, this sure is a tough one.

oh and by the way, i've been having these really strange and pretty disturbing dreams lately. One of those i remember was a good friend i know from back home marrying this psychopath and me being introduced to him for the first time and thinking, "man, this guy's a real psychopath." and turns out (in my dream anyway) i gradually discover that he's a psychopath so i was spot on. Can one even dream irony? Another was me being humiliated by this person i did not like publicly and then without explaination being dumped by my dream girlfirend whom i had not even met before. i woke up with a shock and very very sad, almost wanting to cry..then i realised it was all a dream. How silly of me...haha..this is so weird really..

oh boy, time to go to bed and more dreaming i presume..

An allegorical Story

2009-08-04T21:52:00.003+07:00

This is the story of Aurvandil, Sea Lover..it is allegorical and those who know what and who it is about, forgive me..

Aurvandil, son of Aeorgaerd, huntsman of the Arvangeins returned from the Great Hunt at World's End, expecting to find his wife and children waiting for him in their home. However, the only thing that remained in the ashes and flames of his former home was his father's broken hat and memories of a better life, a life that was no more.

"Father!" he cried, "where are you?" Only silence and the scent of emptiness. Nothing. Aurvandil, hunter of creatures, great and small, sat felled by death, the death of those he loved. Many moons passed where he sat amidst the ruins of hearth and home. Finally the hunter came to his senses. "Blood, the blood of those who have broken me." A true hunter's response. With bow and lance, short sword and belly of fire rises he. So began the Hunt of Aurvandil.

He slashes his way through ranks of flesh, cutting, stabbing, thrusting, hacking. Till none is left. Then what? "Answers!" he screams. Still nothing. Finally he arrives at the gates of Beorguldor, what in former days was called Bewagudoriien. "Answers! Who did this?" Then comes the greatest blow of all. When a man loses his loved ones, he knows only to hunt. When a man knows truth, what does he do?

There, in Beorguldor, he sees his wife enslaved in the harem of Rex Maximus, his children under the slave masters' whip. Aurvandil's Hunt has come to its conclusion. His sword blooded on servants, priests and sword thanes of Rex Maximus, he faces the Rex himself in battle.

Thrust, slash, counter-thrust, riposte! Parry, feint, strike..hour after hour the duel proceeds with increasing intensity. Climax flames into existence for swiftest instant and it is over. Aurvandil lies dying in his own blood, defiant and unbowed till the end. His body will be burned on ceremonial pyre, his ashes scattered over the tombs of the Rexes. "This one was worthy of Rex Maximus sword." That will be his legacy, his name and memory invoked by the scribes and priests of Beorguldor. In time they will say his death at the sword of Rex Maximus was his apotheosis. He will be made a god and come to be guardian of all in Beorguldor who hunt or carry the sword.

But still his father is dead, his home destroyed forever, his wife and children enslaved. Sad Aurvandil, mourn we with you.

My first week of the last Sem or Ai Pia Jia Eh Yah

2009-07-30T20:27:00.006+07:00

Sa hun ti chu tia, chi hun ko pa pia, ai pia jia eh yah..that should be the theme song for my first week of this final sem of my Bachelor of Design in Architecture..feels so surreal back in the run of things man..

and it just droned by like that with promises of getting more speed wrecked and agitated in the coming weeks..man i really can't stand the way these lecturers try to promote the Ai Pia Jia Eh Yah mentality that you've got to sell your soul to the course in order to become a 'good' architect..and you're not worth your weight in salt unless you become a 'good' architect..for those of ya who don't know, Ai pia Jia Eh Yah is a crude anglicised translation of the Hokkien phrase, you've got to slog ya guts out to win/succeed..

so it was that we started on Monday with a site visit to Newcastle East to inspect a site along Zaara Street for a potential Art Museum, which my brilliant lecturer dubbed the Newseum of Art..witty very witty..and cold..so we're gonna build a Contemporary Cathedral to Culture as Museums are known unofficially in Architecture circles..i should be thankful for the opportunity since in Life, only members of the jet-setting Rockstar-esque architects, or Starchitects get selected to design museums, especially art museums. So yes, you've got Frank Gehry and his Guggenheim Bilbao which launched the whole craze, Zaha Hadid and Rem Koolhaus, Daniel Libeskind and his Holocaust Museum, Peter Eisenman's Centre for Culture in Galicia and a few others..but i'm just not so enthralled..

and Wednesday we came in for a full day of Design Studio sessions to tease out the practicalities of the Design Brief and examine the constraints of site, planning regulations and Newcastle City Council guidelines..a labyrinthe of very pedantic and useless information and to-and-fro discussions about 'eliminating variables'..i guess thats what Life is like as well, having worked in a firm for 2 months last year..and then i went to the library to research precedents for this project and what approach to take..

no fun..and i had an opportunity to talk to a friend today who was feeling homesick since its his first year in Newcastle..i can imagine how much harder this must all be for him..i know i felt terrible during my first winter and spring back in 2006..the first year is always toughest for the international student who comes alone to a foreign land..but if one does survive, it makes one much, much stronger..and also more appreciative of one's friends and loved ones back home..

so that was my week pretty much, and am now looking forward to more work over the weekend..but, to my homesick friend, hang in there bro..second semester flies right by in a flash..and home you'll be again.

Poolside Reflections

2009-07-27T21:56:00.003+07:00

Reflections on the 'Con 09: the theme of this year being the Resurrection, i found the night Talks with Martin aka Shaddes not just inspiring but life changing.

The first nite Shaddes talked about why the Resurrection is such a significant topic for Christians: namely, the Resurrection is so good because Death is so bad. We looked at life in the shadow of death because of the Fall of Man and how Death is the final word for all human beings outside the person of Jesus. Death crushes the hopes of all generations of men and ruptures our relationships with those we love.Most importantly, Death assaults everything good in God's creation. It is thus the enemy of God's good purposes. We also contrasted different world views regarding death and how atheists like Dawkins have no real answer to the finality of death. After a break we ended the Talk by talking about God's Plan to reverse the Curse of Death through the birth of A New Hope (ala Star Wars IV) In Jesus. In what i shall call the "Star Wars IV clause", we encounter the Death of Death in the Death of Christ.

Talk 2 was about the significance of the Resurrection for Jesus and for Time.Jesus' rising from the dead proves that Jesus is the Christ, that God keeps His promises to David, that Jesus is Lord, Saviour, Judge and Exalted Servant of His Father. Now one of the phrases Shaddes used was that the Resurrection was the Father's reward for Jesus' sacrifice and suffering, which must lead to all humanity one day worshipping God. After the break we talked about how Jesus marks the great change in time. Before Jesus, humanity was under the Reign of Death but now, in Jesus, the Age of Resurrection has dawned. Satan has been defeated (ref. Jn 12:31) and Israel's Exile has come to an end. This talk was for me, earth shattering. I finally felt completely purged of all traces of dispensationalism that i grew up in church with. Augustine(though i greatly respect him)was wrong. There are no ages of the church, only BC and AD.

Talk 3 on Wednesday night was about our hope in Jesus because of His Resurrection. We have a well founded, essential, ultimate, transforming and transcendant hope that is also triumphant. The greatest statement made that night was this: you know how we always say that the Christians' greatest hope is that when we die we will go to heaven?this is a true hope but not The Greatest hope. The Greatest Hope for the christian is that one day, we will personally experience the bodily resurrection from the dead, given the same glorified bodies as Jesus. After the break we talked about the last judgement and the language of the Bible regarding this: namely, 1) the last battle and the defeat of God's enemies, 2) the market place where the ultimate transaction has been made (heavenly Deal or No Deal) and 3) the law court where the Last Judgement is delivered by the Lamb on the Great White Throne.

Talk 4 was about Living in the Present Time because of Jesus' Resurrection. we have New Purpose, a New Day, New Life, New Power and New Freedom. and we did some Case studies regarding things like Suffering, Marriage. The idea behind all this was that God's saints live in Babylon now, with all its temptations and persecutions. How should we therefore live as Christians in Babylon?at this point i shall add some commentary of my own. i feel that it is at Wintercon that God has allowed the greatest "Conceptual Breakthroughs" in my Christian life. First year it was about ministry and the idea that ministry is much bigger and more mundane than i thought. Second year it was about the mercifulness of God's Sovereignty and the Magnificent Sweep of God's Majesty. Last year it was about the will of God in singleness and coming to terms with it. This year it is about taking unilateral action if need be in living for God and in ministry. We should live for Jesus over and inspite of the examples of others.

Talk 5 on friday morning was about the Biblical teaching about work. What it was in God's creation before the Fall, how work has been corrupted and the good ideals behind work frustrated by the Fall, and how we should work in God's new creation in Jesus. Finally, does Christianity make a difference in Babylon? Yes and no. but ultimately, we must work in anticipation of the New Jerusalem.

it was a great Con for me this year, and i especially loved all the jokes we shared, like Shaddes' accounts of Martin Luther choosing a wife: "there were some nuns who came out of Roman Catholicism and came to Luther for help. Luther promised them their sustenance, which in those days meant a husband so men came from all over Germany to choose wives from these nuns. Unfortunately, there was 1 left over, so Luther married her to keep his promise. By all accounts it was a fantastic marriage and Luther loved his Katie." or Luther's beer quotes: " a man who drinks much sleeps much. A man who sleeps much sins little. A man who sins little goes to heaven. Therefore, let us drink beer." Luther, you old geezer, you got my heart there. Cheers!

A Morally Self-Consious Water Bottle

2009-07-25T14:20:00.005+07:00

Since i'm in my Cam-Whore Mode before uni begins again wat-the-heck..Saw this while in Jesmond Shops at Cotton On and decided to buy it..because it says, "A Morally Consious Water Bottle"...Ermmm..you mean, a Morally SELF-Conscious Water Bottle that Reeks of Do-Gooder Bullsh*t...as the Pommies(Brit-ish) might say, "Bah, Humbug!"

Wintercon Photos

2009-07-25T08:31:00.015+07:00

Wintercon photos are up and i'll display all of them before going into a description of the conference for 09..

The Serving Team..from left, Ben Broadfoot aka Double B, Fiona, Harvey, Adam Savage, Matthew Watson for first night food service..Fantastic Hospitality

Harvey Noell, with desert. Come on Harves, why so glum? haha

After Dinner Conversation..first night is always best with all the get-to-know-ya awkwardness and this-guy-must-be-a-real bogan

Morning Quiet Times..up at 7.45 am, Breakfast till 9, then Quiet Times till 9.30am..Go on, pick a spot in the sun

Worship Sessions at Night, let down only by the poor quality of my point-and-shoot camera, lousy at-a-snap photo taking skills..nice hat Sam

Singing my Fav camp Song, Before the Throne of God Above

Ultimate Frisbee, right after i'd bowed out to get ready for Group Photo Taking and Campus Planning Sessions..1st rule of free time: use free time for fun activities

Martin Shadwick aka Shaddes during Session 3 of Night Talks..Resurrection: A New and Living Hope, which was, in my humble opinion, the best session

My Manuscript Dicovery Group on Friday Morning; Romans 5-8 studied with the theme of Law and Grace explored as best we could under the Holy Spirit's guidance, from left, Rhys Tippet Discussion Leader, Matt Tyler fellow FOCUS helper and my driver to the 'Con, Andrew, me taking photo of course

No Woman No Cry

2009-07-19T22:12:00.002+07:00

As of today, i officially have a new room mate..Lawrence Kasherman! oh boy, i'm anticipating lotsa male testosterone and boyish fun..muahahaha..i acknowledge, my long months living in isolation from the rest of humanity have left me more than a bit looney..so a little bit of company sure is welcome..

and friends, you know whats the theme song of tonite? you guessed it, No Woman No Cry by Bob Marley..just us 2 boys and no women in our lives..(but who knows..my roomie might turn up attached suddenly and unexpectedly ;) No, Not to me of course, you bumbling foolish dumb bells!

Jokes and teasing aside..i felt Refreshed with a capital R at Unichurch service again..Pete Witt, a Bible translator to Vanuatu spoke from Colossians 3:18-4:1..about christian relationships; wives, husbands, children, parents, slaves, masters. There was of course the usual exegesis about what to do when you get married and Guide to Choosing a Right Life Partner According to Australian Christianity..you're talking to a Realist when it comes to relationships so don't be so shocked..but i think Pete made a good argument from scripture which is Honest and i accept it as what God wants for us.. however, you gotta factor in human attraction and desires (sinful and holy)

after the service Joyce, Jamie and Jono(myself) aka the J-Team (ok i made that up) met Catherina Weiss, a Deutshfrau from Deutschland who's on a study abroad scheme in Australia for a year..i guessed that she was from Europe and either France, Germany or the Czech Republic (which is a pretty darn big area actually; and if i'd been firing nuclear missiles i'd absolutely fail to hit the target) before finally being let in on the secret of her origin..so there, if she does join FOCUS regularly, i can practice my little Deutsch with Frau Caterina..and i would be doing Fraulein Maria, who taught me ein bischen Deutsch when i was 16, after my O'Levels proud! at the very least, i can try and failing which, respond, 'Keine Ahnung' or 'ich spracken ein bischen Deutsch' ....at least my German is better than my Japanese that i did for 1 sem in Year 2 and still have no clue how to say hullo, my name is Jono, how are ya? in...

alrightie..enough clowning around..gotta sleep early to go for Wintercon at Galston Gorge, Sydney tomorrow..am looking forward to Martin's Talks and Dene's Foundations Series and relishing the opportunity to ask all my thorny Pre-destination and the Sovereignty of God questions that i've been holding for a year now..feels like first year Wintercon all over again..landing in an unknown area with unknown people hot and suited up, ready for a fight..GPMG loaded and cocked, bayonet de-rusted, oiled and ready for fixing to my trusty M1A1 carbine...2 waterbottles in SBO filled..Board the Chopper!

Piano

2009-07-14T02:06:00.007+07:00

After spending time with the SRJC guys from NWO on Sunday night i began thinking about how far we've grown and the times i missed out on their lives either because i was too busy with NS or overseas studying..and strangely, about the regrets we've had..Mr S.F was telling me some of his difficulties and his fears and i wished that the Christians in the group had more time to talk about these issues and read the Bible to find out what it actually does say about these issues. Mr S.F and myself resolved to read the Bible together when i'm next around in Singapore regarding some of these struggles we face as young Christian adults and men. And i've been thinking about my own regrets this night and the really dumb and bad decisions i've made in the past.

we can't take those bad mistakes and decisions away and thats a fact, but we stand under Christ's blood and forgiveness. Still, i wish i'd listened more to what God was saying to me in His Word when i was growing up. And in the vein of my shared Cheena Ah Pek-ness with Fuzz and shared love for 80s music with Dean, here's Fan Yi Cheng's Piano or Gang Qin. Enjoy.. (the tune if you can't get the words)

Not Learning Anything or Why i Distrust Political Liberalism

2009-07-10T07:27:00.002+07:00

Let me highlight a recent article in the Business Times of Singapore, on Wednesday, July 8, 2009, entitled, "The Cane Whistles, But Does It Really Hurt?"

"The Monetary Authority of Singapore (MAS) has banned 10 financial institutions (FIs) from selling structured notes for periods ranging between 6 months and 2 years for mis-selling products linked to collapsed US bank Lehman Brothers...On the surface, the MAS ban, following approximately 7 months of investigations, appears to be appropriate punishment. But it really rings hollow, because it isn't going to to hurt the FIs much.The fact is that the whole structured products market has vanished-the financial crisis and the structured notes fiasco have seen to that...This will be cold-comfort to the 10000 or so investors who suffered from the mis-selling..and it isn't satisfactory, given the serious lapses at the FIs. The list of shortcomings makes for shocking reading.."

"If a ban really means nothing, the MAS should have imposed fines, big fines, that would really have hurt the FIs...it should have pushed the FIs to compensate...The nature of the lapses identified by the MAs suggests a failure in oversight and processes, which really points the finger at senior executives, and they shouldn't escape responsibility."

"And what about the MAS' own role? Dare we suggest that if the sub-prime fiasco hadn't happened and Lehman hadn't collapsed,the mis-selling would have continued merrily and no one would be the wiser? How closely did the central bank supervise the banks when it came to the sale of structured products before the crisis?"

"The industry will respond as it usually does. Indeed, the Association of Banks in Singapore (ABS) immediately announced that its member banks are putting in place a series of measures covering a range of governance and assurance processes, training and compensation of sales personnel, consumer education and enhancements to the sales process. Investors will take all this with a pinch of salt. Weren't there such protestations before?"

Thats the cost of liberalism and market de-regulation..after 4 years in Australia, i'm skeptical..political liberalism is a chimaera at best and a false messiah at worst, offering much but delivering little. Even now our incumbent government is unwilling to learn and listen, preferencing corporate interests over the small-time individual investor. Thats why I distrust political liberalism, period.

You're Beautiful.. James Blunt

2009-06-29T22:30:00.003+07:00

Day 2 of me Great Musical Experiment..must see previous post to understand..

and documenting of Day 2 of Jono's Great Tioman Adventure..well, we got up at 7.30am the next morning and had breakfast at Hamdan's Cafe near the beach and packed lunch for the day on the boat at sea..i remember wat i had, Nasi Pattaya..

Day 2 was great for fishin really..all bright sunny skies and calm waters..and the first stop was garupa or Garupo as Awang, our elderly Malay boatman called it..near the west side of the resort, near some rocky reefs we let down our fishin reels and fishin rods..and promptly caught a few mid sized Garupo..promptly applies to Dad and Pastor Kitham, not me...i waited for almost an hour before getting any bite..and reeled up only to lose the little bugger...took my bait with 'im too..cunning fella..

we went to 4 or 5 spots before i caught anything..a small Garupo..sigh..den of course we broke for lunch..the other Malay boatman (whom we later learnt was from Indonesia) was darn good at fishin man..he kept catching so many small to mid-sized Garupo and snappers and Greasies and yellow tails..Dad and Pastor Kitham din do so bad as well..at least 10 teach between them before lunch..

after lunch we headed out to the open sea as the weather was good enough and it was there that i caught my largest fish in the last 5 years..i dunno what it was but it sure looked like a cross between a barramundi and shark..at least 55 cm long..that truly rekindled my interest in fishin which has been simmerin on the back burner the last 2 years..we stayed out at sea till around 6.30pm before heading back to shore..it was a very very rewarding day..i like the feel of working hard for a good catch under the sun with good honest sweat down one's back..never tried it before? you should some time..

and we had our washing up, first of the rods, reels and equipment then ourselves before bringing 8 of the fish to the nearby Chinese restaurant to cook sweet and sour, with other dishes of course..even now, the thought makes me mouth water..yum..i was pretty dead beat after that so it was back to the room and a good sleep around 10.30 pm...but not before taking my back, shoulders and neck pain relief medication..dislike that problem man..keeps coming back to plague me on and off..

tell everyone more about Day 3 soon..

Again, Not my image but thats the kinda boat we took out to sea..not identical but very similar..actually the one we took was a bit more run down..this image is from the Net and shows Tioman in the background

You Remind Me, Usher

2009-06-28T00:31:00.005+07:00

Lets do a little bit of experimentation, or X-perimentation as i call it..you all know how i love Class 95 back home in Singapore rite? so, i've decided to name my posts in Singapore by the name of watever song is playing on Class 95 at the time i begin each blog post (it'll probably wear off in a couple of weeks but you never know if you never try, eh?)

Ok. this post is about my recent trip to Tioman, Malaysia with family and Pastor Kitham, the Myanmar pastor from Charis Full Gospel Centre who pastors our Burmese/Myanmar congregation..before i begin, i really envy you Malaysian friends of mine when it comes to possible holiday destinations. You guys have such cool places as Tioman, Redang, Johore Bahru (even though security is sometimes an issue), Rawa, Aur, Pangkor, Penang, Langkawi, Maldives(eh, salah, that one not counted) and you can go there anytime without needing to bring passport or fill in forms about how much money you're bringing into Malaysia(must be under RM 2000, don't play play, ok?)

we took 2.5 hours to drive up from Singapore to Mersing and let me tell you, navigating to and from the new customs checkpoint in JB is no joke ok..follow road sign happy happy then eh! "TA BOLEh JALAn! OR*** ****!Machiam Mana PErGi?!" thats quoting some of the inhabitants of the car who jiakup Melayu fluently..then from Mersing we took the ferry to Tioman after a wait of about an hour..ferry took 2.5 hours..and then, of course, father cleverly never book transport from Tekek Village(our stop) to Juara Beach so have to find local transport..thankfully, this guy offered to give us a lift there for RM 140..which was daylight robbery, so we said no, then he said he'll find one more person to share with us and that was how we met Alicia, a back-packer from New Zealand who had come to Singapore as the Physio for the NZ Under-21 National Hockey Team but was staying on for a week to do travelling after the competition ended..she's a christian going to Green Lane Church in Auckland and it was really good for us to get to know her over the next few days..back to my story..the guy said 4 Wheel Drive by which i think he meant a car with 4 wheels because he brought a Perodua Kancil to bring us up and down many hills and valleys to Mutiara Resort at Juara Beach..the suspension was creaking like nobody's business and at several points i really thought that must get out and push the bullock cart, sorry, Kancil already..good thing arrive there in one piece and not in body bags..

Father of course forget to confirm our booking on the day before coming so there was a bit of a fiasco..good thing we were placed in a pretty nice chalet for RM 120 a night and when i saw the BEACH i went crazy man.. went straight to the room and changed into my trunks and literally ran to the beach and ran in for a darn good swim in warm, crystal clear waters with visibility of at least 12 m i swear..forget Australian beaches man..this one is to die for ok!!too bad it was already 530pm when we arrived, so did not have much time with my beloved salty sea....

and then, dad being dad, said that we should go explore..and his ulterior motive was to find Gunung (Mount) Durian behind the resort, full of Durian trees and pick up some free kampung durian..which we did..4 wild, kampung durians, no fertilisers or human intervention..except in their digestion..Alicia met us while we were "exploring" so we invited her to join us for kampung durian at the beach cafe..and she actually tried and did not mind the taste of durian..i told her that she definitely put to shame many of my white Aussie friends man..

and that basically sums up the first day of my Great Tioman Adventure..tell ya more about Day 2, 3 and 4 over the next few posts..stay tuned ;->

Not my picture but this is the exact type of chalet we stayed in (photo of Mutiara Resort chalet, Juara Beach, taken from internet)

Live High

2009-06-26T10:30:00.003+07:00

Jason Mraz does Live High in Paris, with the Centre Georges Pompidou by Renzo Piano in the background and nobody recognizes him. Whats it with the French? can't appreciate good architecture and good music? nothing to live for then..well i'd Live High any day..

Book Review Time!

2009-06-22T00:10:00.008+07:00

its time to do another book review for a book that most people would probably rather not read..so hang in there those of you readers who are intellectually challenged by some of these posts

Prisoner of the State, The Secret Journal of Chinese Premier Zhao Ziyang is a fascinating read for those of us Sino-Soviet history buffs..the rivetting insider story of Zhao Ziyang's appointment as General Secretary of the Peoples' Republic of China and head of the Politburo Standing Committee and eventual fall from grace during the internal power struggles of June 1989 when the Tiananmen Incident broke out, all told from his point of view for once..

I always thought that Zhao Ziyang was a capable man, much maligned by his peers and rivals..but now i seem to have found a new respect for the guy who, during the upheavals of June 1989, proved to be the true "good and honourable man" who refused to be coerced into sending troops into Tiananmen and refused to go down in history as the Premier who ordered Chinese troops to spill Chinese blood..

For this of course, he spent the rest of his life under house arrest and hidden from the world. The story of how this secret journal came about is a gripping tale in itself. Apparently, from about 1992, Zhao began taping over audio cassettes of songs and children's stories with sections of his reflections. These were then distributed separately to different trusted friends and family members, who, on his death, covertly began to compile the tapes and smuggle them out of the country. Thats how the world first came to know of his secret journal and heard his voice for the first time since 1989.

the most interesting part of this book is the close look we get of different leaders of the CCP and the other sides to their charcter than that commonly played before the world's media, from Deng to Jiang Zemin..and of course the behind-the-scenes account of how China reformed her economy from centrally planned, 5 Year Plan style socialist models to free market economy within the space of 10 years under Hu Yaobang and Zhao Ziyang, when the foundations were laid for the explosive and uncontainable growth after 1992 till today. Most intriguing of all is Zhao's final chapter on the way forward for China where a CCP member (he was never expelled even under arrest), experienced in the politics of the Politburo and Central Committee and a veteran of the Cultural Revolution states that only western style parliamentary democracy, with free elections, the rule of law and separation of Legislature, Executive and Judiciary will be able to curb the rampant corruption, excess and inequality in China today.

Agree with him or not, Zhao speaks from the grave and refuses to be put down, suppressed or silenced. He may have said to the students of Tiananmen, "we're old and what we say doesn't matter anymore. But you are young and should not throw your lives away so foolishly." In reality, Zhao is more current and up-to-date on China than we think.

Thats all folks,
Jono Chua
Closet Sino Analyst

Timbre part 2

2009-06-19T02:20:00.004+07:00

Timbre

2009-06-19T01:33:00.003+07:00

it feels great being home again.. Kian and Richard met with me earlier for some beef brisket noodles, pork congee and fried wonton dumplings at Crystal Jade (Plaza Singapura, Dhoby Ghaut )and we proceeded to Timbre Old School at Mount Sophia (near Dhoby Ghaut) after that..the live music is fantastic and kudos again to the entrepreneuring people who thought of a place for local Singaporean bands to play while customers chill out with some beer..

of course, if you're talking about charm, ambience and idyllic(some say decadent) settings, nothing beats Dempsey Road at the converted former British colonial Baracks..now that place is the perfect haunt of expatriates and those of us with a sense of taste and finese, if i do say so myself..muahaha

one of the songs sung tonight by the band was Lady Gaga's Pokerface... Acoustic and unplugged..and i couldnt help laughing to myself and thinking about my friends in Newcastle who've seen me go crazy over this song and Lady Gaga's other musical ensembles..my my my my pokerface, my pokerface..this song is for you guys..and of course, the other memorable song that brought tears to my eyes (because i was laughing so hard) had to be..you guessed it, Jason Mraz and Colbie Cailat's Lucky...now that song is for you Dene and Emmerie..hahahahaha

and by God's grace i did have the opportunity before this to meet Ian while i was at the Cityhall Starbucks..which was completely unplanned and random..and we had a great time talking about his counselling work at St Francis School in Bukit Timah and work with Christian youth the past 6 months, while i told him about my past 6 months and the great academic trials i always face every sem..

and after that, i was having some late night supper at the Macas (aka Macdonalds) near my home..and i heard Reo Speedwagon on the radio..and promptly fell in love with Class 95 all over again..that was the radio station that saw me through the years 18 to 22 so i love you guys! Before that it was Perfect 10, 98.7 FM between 14 and 18 of course..buts its too bubble gum pop for me now..oh well..will keep everyone updated..See ya soon

The group

2009-06-07T01:57:00.002+07:00

This is my growth group from unichurch..and i do love them..Lachlan Wetherall our group leader, Sam Barnes, in the second row, myself, DJ, Kate, Ellen, Lianna, Pip, Linda Wetherall who's Lachy's wife, Dave and in the last row, Alyssa and Tim Arnold

i've learnt so much from them espcially Lachy and Tim, who've been like my Christian mentors..from Lachy i've learnt the value of humble, quiet service that doesnt get talked about much or hyped up a lot, from Tim i learnt what a Christian husband looks like (especially a young Christian husband who's just starting out in life) and i've learnt from Sam Barnes who's the real philosopher in the group and who always offers a fresh philosophical perspective..or throws light on our thought processes..and Linda has taught me a great deal of what qualities to look for in a Christian wife and what really is valuable..and the younger members of our group remind me that i'm not that old after all..you guys invigorate me with the freshness of life at 20 all over again, before i even left the Army..i feel so alive around you people..great job! haha..

Speaking about youth..i watched Zhongyu's performance on Facebook earlier..i wish i'd been there last October to hear her rendition of Sarach Lachlan's Angel live with her band..now, that woman can sing i tell ya..you know what they say that when some people sing Magic happens? Well, Zhongyu's one of those who works magic when she sings..i feel young again, and i like that..

Man, thats the one thing i hate most about Newcastle Uni..it makes me feel so drained and it saps my energy at the end of every semester..thats why i need a change of environment at the end of each sem..and as a FOCUS helper it sometimes takes its toll with the constant battles between uni work and FOCUS responsibilities and wanting to encourage Christians rather than go off and do what i please..and when i hear friends like Zhongyu, Alvin Tay or Yap, Jonathan Tsang with their bands doing what they really enjoy without a care in the world i really wanna just ditch everything and go do something i like, such as Snorkel and Scuba Dive around the world..and to hell with the rest..i do like feeling young, i do like feeling that the world is my oyster, i do like the feeling of doing everything i enjoy whenever i please..

as i think about what i want to do with my future, i must thank Zhongyu for her performance..cos it has got me thinking and re-evaluating my choices.

Excerpts

2009-06-01T23:17:00.003+07:00

"hey guys,

i dunno if you guys share the same concern for the environment, energy conservation and the poor as I do, but an idea just popped into my mind for a business/charity based on those causes.

I thought I'd like to attempt to help people convert waste heat to do something useful around the house like dry clothes.

An initial attempt would be to channel the coolant from a fridge to a larger area that can be maintained and cleaned so that the clothes can be dried on it.

I reckon this idea will not be immediately attractive as the cost savings will be quite little - maybe under $100 a year? and the initial cost of labor and raw materials to set it up may be way above that order of magnitude (some survey will have to go into this).

There are also several technical and aesthetic/design issues to concern oneself with - whether we can come up with designs for each situation that is functional and simple enough to be of casual utility, and that will be the thing which determines if this idea takes off.

In this climate of tightening belts and of people looking for something worthwhile to do, we can take otherwise unemployed people (ourselves) and apply them to helping the poor whom a few dollars in savings would matter to.

It could serve as a springboard/source of experience to implementing ideas that involve higher tech, more complication and more cost e.g. I envision solar powered windows to absorb energy from the sunlight to power air conditioners, or an external system to aid in cooling the computer, which is becoming the central problem with computing these days (incorporating the home server with the home water heating system). It has the scope of utilizing some of our trainings - varun's business skills, chua's design training, and perhaps shamir could help us market the product using videos - getting the message across to the our target audience."

To Gabriel:
applaud your thinking that went into this. Am greatly encouraged that friends like you remind me of where i came from. Without people just trying to do something worthwhile in this life like yourself, we'd all be screwed (for want of a better term). Note to self: do something small but worthwhile this week and stop screwing around with selfish ambitions.

Cheers
Chua aka The Creature

Change and Sian-ness

2009-06-01T22:47:00.003+07:00

This photo says so much about my mood at the time..around Day 14 of my Japan mission trip last year..actually i think it says so much about everyone of the team at the time..

Ian has been talking a lot about change on his blog and i feel that it is an issue that does tug at my own heartstrings this year. I do believe that certain aspects of my character have changed significantly from last year while other aspects have been, shall we say, re-defined. Take for instance my left wing radicalism. That has mellowed so much. And my skepticism? i think that this year it isn't the in your face variety that it was before..i'm still deeply skeptical of people's motives and hidden agendas..but i believe i would say that i try not to be so hasty to judge..

it could simply be that i'm sian aka tired as in the Japan Mission pic and i'm growing out of my youthful "i can change the world" idealism..or just simply that being more engaged with individuals around me and being more in tune with their personal stories has made me a more practical human being who is much more useful to God than an idealistic hothead..or on a slightly less optimistic note, i'm more selfish in protecting myself by saying polite and moderate things rather than stuff that could ruin my friendships..

Just a few nites back i was at Joyce's place for some dinner and to check out her cool new fish tank (which i must say is pretty impressive but lacks a piranha) and ended up playing Wii with Jeram, Brendan, Joyce and Brandon..we all took turns and Josephine, Serene and Roger Jonas were up next..and i enjoyed it completely..and i felt that i was really engaging with true friends and caring for them..i wouldnt have been so at ease a year back probably as i'd have been more uptight. Its liberating really, being more laidback and sporting.

Its great to change to be a more easy going person i think..you noe, the next time you're over at Barahineban, give me a buzz or drop by my room and say hi..maybe we could have a beer and a nice chat about anything from uni work to life, God and the nature of the universe...except when i'm stressed by architecture maybe..*laughz*

2 Months

2009-05-31T23:07:00.002+07:00

2 months is forever by the standards of this ultra fast, information saturated world ain't it? well, not by the architectural clock thats still ticking down to the final conclusion for this semester..eternity is like waiting for the semester to end so one can take stock of all the grenade fragments and body parts littering the sidewalk of our lives..

i remember the time when after seeming years of service to Country and my Fellow Citizens in the Singapore Armed Forces i finally was discharged..or ORD'd as we call it in Singapore...No more armoured vehicles to hose down at the washing bays or Own Vehicle Equipment to oil and maintain..goodbye Company Sergeant Majors and OCs..and then the grenade fragment picking up began where i started to pick up the pieces of my life that had come to a grinding halt while i served NS..

same feeling different circumstances now you might say..Design 3 is not an easy nut to crack..even with all that temp job working in a firm over summer last year..still i don't seem able to execute my conceived ideas quite as well as i wished. Oh well, i figure its due to the disjunction between idea and reality. I must say i'm much more satisfied with my design though. The idea of deformation and skewing of standard buildings to challenge perceptions of what is conventional architecture has great merit. And the use of steel structure in a non-rational, non-linear manner to support the building certainly screws with people's perceptions of what is "accepted practice". As Charles Jencks would have it, " in an age where consensus about any subject is practically non-existent, the answer to any question might as well be fish" (paraphrased)

well, we're having our FOCUS end of semester steamboat session this friday evening at Hamilton Bap.s so i'm looking forward to that and will keep readers who have endured my almost 3 months of silence updated..you deserve it..haha

Book recommendation of the Month

2009-03-02T12:02:00.003+07:00

"This stone was raised to Sarah Ford,
not Sarah's virtues to record-
For they're well known to all the town-
No Lord; it was raised to keep her down."

"Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake,
Stepped on the gas
Instead of the brake."

"Here lies Butch,
We planted him raw.
He was quick on the trigger,
But slow on the draw."

that was a selection of epigrams from real tombstones around the world and which i found on the website dedicated to Neil Gaiman's coolest book yet, The Graveyard Book. Thanks to Huixun and my old Neil Gaiman Book Club i was alerted to this cool illustrated book.

written in the great tradition of Rudyard Kipling which Mr Gaiman himself claims was his literary inspiration, its a complex allegory about life, death, growing up, loss and change. Of course, its setting is an English graveyard which is pretty different from the kind one finds in Southeast Asia or the East, which are not seen as places of rest but places of death, rot and evil..even though Asians would not call it evil but the world of yin..but a rose by any other name..

an English graveyard with its overhanging tress and overgrowing grass and plants with wild foxes and cats thrown in for good measure becomes the home of a baby who has a rather tragic background..taken in by Mr and Mrs Owens, a childless ghost couple, he becomes Nobody Owens, or Bod, for short..along the way we meet interesting inhabitants of the graveyard such as Caius Pompeius, the oldest resident, a remnant from Roman times and the city of Camulodunum..we meet Josiah Worthington, Bart, local politician and aristocrat who purchased the graveyard and dedicated it to posterity as a government reserve..we meet Silas, the dark resident who might just have been a reformed Jack the Ripper or a vampire turned death highway patrolman..Miss Lupescu, a Hound of God as she calls herself, but known to us as a werewolf, and Elizabeth Hempstroke, a witch drowned in Elizabethan times and buried in the unconsecrated ground of the graveyard, reserved for the criminals, suicides and witches..and of course, Jack, the cause of all of our unlikely protagonist's troubles..

my favourite chapter in the book has to be Chapter 5, The Danse Macabre..when white flowers bloom in the height of winter (they shouldn't) this signals the start of the festival of Macabray, when the dead, in stately fashion, leave the graveyard and meeting the living in the town square, where there is a great dance, until finally, even the Lady of the Grey herself, a figure representing a genial death, appears to dance with them, until mid-night when the dead and living return to their own homes, once more having nothing to do with each other..a macabre version of Cinderella indeed..i especially love the lyrics of the song, "one to leave and one to stay, and all to dance the Macabray" of course, for all my literature inclined friends out there, this is once again, a metaphor for the dance of death all human beings go through all their lives, until death finally claims us..

my second favourite chapter is the story of Bod meeting the witch, Liza (which is such a post-modern version of Elizabeth and appropriate for the story) and learing about the Biblical-English tradition of the Potter's Field where the outcasts of society are buried..this is a veiled attack on the supposedly uncharitable Christian Church of course, for those who have eyes to see it as it is, but totally fun as it were..it ends with Bod fashioning a headstone for the unmarked grave of Liza with a glass paper weight and some paint..appropriate and quirky, but i think some fruitcake and a cricket bat would do better..there are other chapters which are interesting..but i feel that the chapter on the ghoul-gate didnt really fit in with the story..even though the names of the ghouls, such as the Bishop of Bath and Wells, the Duke of Westminster, the Honourable Archibald Fitzburgh, the Thirty-Third President of The United States of America, The Emperor of China and The Famous Writer Victor Hugo was so totally, morbidly cool..until we got to the bit where one finds out the ghouls get their names from the first victim they eat..which even i found a bit much for a children's book..

and in case you thought otherwise, The Graveyard Book won the 2008 John Newbury Award for Childrens' Literature..i dun noe if i'll ever read this to my kids as a bedtime story, but i sure do enjoy the book miself..all in all i'd rate this book 4.5 stars out of 5 for a Neil Gaiman book..well done Mr Gaiman..you've blown us all away again with that trademark quirkiness and "Wodehousian generosity of spirit" as one critic commented on ya Anansi Boys..i seriously recommend this book..

Australia, the Epic

2009-02-27T11:38:00.003+07:00

the Epic year at uni begins..i missed Australia so much yet without knowing how much till i reached Newcastle and started distributing flyers for the Lighthouse Walk on Wednesday Arvo (Afternoon is Aussie speak)..the coffee certainly helped fight the tiredness and drowsiness while pamphletting..

Getting Barahineban Unit 121 ship shape and ready for 'combat operations' as i term it took the remainder of the Evening..the only fuel i ran on at that point was pure adrenaline, momentum and lotsa Lady Gaga, Colbie Caillat, NeYo, Jason Mraz and Chris Jordan..No Air indeed..and over the next 36 hours, i would be tracking down, recovering, inventorizing and readying my stored materiale for living in Newcastle..thankfully the night brought deep, dreamless sleep for the exhausted which is the best and most restful of all the various stages and types of sleep possible..until about 4 flipping AM in the morning when the sound of distant drums woke me from my silent reveille..tribal witch doctors or drunk freshmen on the road outside Barahineban i'll never know for sure..that cost me 45 minutes of dis-stress before sleep found me with her silken wings again..i glide into oblivion..

and then the alarm rings at 10am and i stretch out a sleep drenched hand to fling it into the furthest corner, cursing the demons of wakefulness in the Master's Name..but sleep she flutters away like a flock of doves in startled flight from a pouncing cat..Cold be hand and heart and bone, and cold be sleep under stone..as JRR Tolkien's Barrow wright would have it..and i rise to another day's labour, in the fields of golden rye..

oh well, the Bible does say that by the sweat of ye brow ye shall till the earth all ye days, for dust ye are, and to dust ye shall return..lets go kiddo, no rest for the weary..

On The Side of Me

2009-02-24T02:25:00.003+07:00

i really enjoy Corrine May..you know, there was a time when she was my Ideal Woman..actually, i think she still is..oh well, thats me being whimsical and quirky..cheers

3 Ministers, One Summer

2009-02-23T23:53:00.003+07:00

"I too, am seen as the elder brother and older friend and nothing more. Probably thats why I have so many friends who are girls but they're all not attracted to me as a partner"..that was my response to Ian's comment about the issues with being a professional counsellor and known as one..the perception of members of the opposite sex changes..

I've been blessed to have been taught by great teachers and blessed to have sat at the feet of godly ministers of God's Word who've taught me all i know about the Bible and being a Christian..its really God's grace..i'm going to talk about three of them in this post for they've been some of the most formative in my Christian walk and life here in Singapore..

First, there's Dr E N Poulsen, the Pastor Emeritus of Grace Baptist Church and Professor Emeritus of Singapore Bible College, the minister who taught my father in Bible College for 4 years many, many years ago..An American missionary from the Church of the Open Door in Los Angeles, he's been in Singapore for the last 53 years! He recently returned to California for what he says will be the last time, because he intends to die and be buried in the mission field of Singapore where God called him in 1955...Now this is a very interesting man who was a naval pilot during the Second World War, actually flying in combat at Guadacanal and Guam..my father and myself recently visited him over the Chinese New Year period in Singapore where he regalled us with stories of eating raw fish yusheng with his chinese co-workers..he gave me good advice that i should finish my studies and work for at least 2 years or 5 before going into ministry..and that in an Asian context, evangelism often involves offering tuition to students in the neighbourhood and telling them about Jesus during short breaks between lessons..of course we should make this clear from the start, but the kinds of pure evangelistic outreach events we do in Australia just don't work well..which got me thinking about Focus..if we have English coaching sessions and breaks where we share 2 Ways to Live with international students, would that work better? we should include that in our advertising so we're not misleading anyone, but is this unscriptural?

Minister no. 2 is the Reverend Fred Abeysekara, an old school and old time Pentecostal man who recently returned from missionary work in Banglore, India..he spoke in Charis Full Gospel Church on Sunday from Matthew 10:1-15..i have not heard a verse by verse exegesis by a Pentecostal minister for a very, very long time..with the exception of my father who even then, sometimes gets carried away.."and proclaim as you go, saying, "The kingdom of heaven is at hand. Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse lepers, cast out demons. You received without paying, give without pay. acquire no gold nor silver nor copper for your belts, no bag for your journey, nor two tunics nor sandals nor a staff, for the laborer deserves his food." v. 7-10...he went on to talk about ministry, mission work, service of God and the difficulty faced in the Christian life..of course, i don't agree with everything he preached from a Biblical Theological perspective...but i think often i retreat behind intellectualism and theologising about the Bible which shouldnt be..the thrust of his sermon was right..especially when Rev. Fred said, "i've had people spit on me and hit me for the sake of the gospel..some of them Christians in whose churches i preached, right after the service..the Christian walk and life is Hard and Difficult..but we do it for the sake of Jesus..look to Him"..a far cry indeed from the New Liberal Pentecostals who preach health, wealth and prosperity..now you see why i dislike them and their theology so much? if they're right, that means everything Reverend Fred and my family have endured for the gospel for the last 20 to 30 years has been in vain, because we have far more suffered than been blessed..Of course, few other pentecostal churches in Singapore these days invites Rev Fred to preach..poor man, he preaches too much about the Wrath of God, the sinfulness of man and the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ as the cure..not politically correct in this age of "luv" (not Love as you may notice..as Dr Poulsen says, the Liberals spell it as 'Luv' rather than 'Love' as the Bible spells it)

and no. 3 is Ian Poullier (thats right, my friend, its about you :) a true Christian friend and Counsellor who struggles with singlehood and marriage..he recently underwent an operation for cervical spondelosis because C4-6 of his vertebrae were pressing on his spinal cord, causing numbness, difficulty in his gait and some vertigo..i did not realise my friend, if not i would have been praying for you..i'm sorry for being such a careless friend..he underwent a major surgery which was 7 hours in all and yet, was up and about and discharged within 4 days of the operation..he talked at length about God's Grace, mercy and favour..and i agree and empathise completely..my grandma underwent an operation for cervical spondelosis in 1990 which left her paralysed from the waist down..God is merciful indeed..anyway, he was back in the office last week and counselling students at St Francis Methodist School, even while wearing a neck brace..i always find it refreshing talking to Ian, who never fails to put things in perspective (with that counsellor finesse of his)..from singlehood and marriage to ministry and caring for kids and adolescents..without condemnation and judging and any air of self-righteousness..yet always being realistic and up front..anyways, so that his head doesnt get too bloated (i know you read this space Ian) i'll move on to what he told me about getting some basic training in counselling if i wanted to get involved in ministry..its helpful for ministers to learn how to communicate with distressed people and counsel them with some proper knowledge..and to have some basic bedside manners which don't scare troubled congregation members off..thats something to keep in view for the future..

well, thats enough for tonite..God has been gracious to me in letting me have the fellowship and teaching of these ministers..this is for you.."God rest ye merry gentlemen" indeed..

My feelings after the Architecture Internship

2009-02-17T00:01:00.002+07:00

what are my collective feelings after a mnth and half of working in the Architectural Office where i did my "internship"? in the words of Jeremy, "this is for designing buildings without flair, without soul, without passion... just making white goods"

Small Blessings

2009-02-16T22:34:00.003+07:00

Count your blessings, name them one by one, count your blessings see what God has done..Count your blessings, name them by the score, count your many blessings, there'll be many more! the words of the old hymn ring true for me today..and i see why this should be one of my father's favourite hymns..

its been a blessing today to meet some old friends whom i've not met for some time and how the sharing can be a blessing and encouragement for all parties..take my friend R for instance..last saw her 3 years ago when she was still doing a Bachelor of Arts majoring in Social Work at the National University of Singapore..she's grown and changed a lot since those days and i find that today i can have a discussion about the Bible and our respective churches that i couldnt have a few years back because our positions and opinions were often diametrically opposed..of course it was i who needed to mature and not her..she was telling me about her issues with her boyfriend who's still quite a young christian and it was a helpful discussion..she reminded me again about what the Bible actually says about relationships and our priorities in this life..

then over dinner i met 3 of my ex-classmates from St Andrews School..since we started meeting regularly again last year whenever i'm back home they've been a great source of encouragement and a pool of Christian wisdom..one of them will be leaving soon to do mission in (of all places) Japan for a year with OMF..another friend was talking about how his church was asking him to consider full time ministry with youths for a year or 2..sort of like MTS..we've all grown up so much from those noisy,rowdy and girl-crazy boys in SAS when we were 14 and 15..next year it would be the 10 year reunion for the class..i wonder how each of us turned out..and how many people will be going into full time ministry from our batch..whenever i think i must be some kinda weirdo talking about christianity and ministry so much..i look at these ex-classmates and am both challenged and encouraged

and today i heard again the desire for effective sharing and bible study amongst university graduates..i heard once again a university grad looking for a bible study that is able to engage with the issues the person is facing at this stage in life..as i meet Michael tomorrow for one to one bible study, i think we should pray about this..

Surviving Valentines' Day

2009-02-15T19:40:00.002+07:00

the words of that Gloria Gaynor song ring through my mind..At first i was afraid, i was petrified...i will survive..and survive i did for Valentines Day this year...

the number of flower sellers out to earn a quick buck would put money-grasping wall-street to shame..in fact, i reckon those condemned executives should come over to Singapore and get a second career selling flowers on Valentines Day..i'm immediately reminded of the case of the Hebrew Midwives in Exodus when i see these flower sellers..you know, they couldnt have children of their own so they became mid wives, they can't get partners so they sell flowers..if you can't beat em join em and if you can't join em...well, enter the catering business..

ok, i shouldnt be so mean..Valentines Day is an amazing tribute to love(of the commercialised, commodified variety) that i shouldnt feel envious of just because i can't get attached myself..that is emininently true and i will be the first to deprecate myself..its lovely to see young couples on the streets of Singapore in their couple T-shirts that spell "L-O" for the guys and "V-E" for the girls but which actually mean"I-D" and "I-O-T"..oops sorry its unevenly split..maybe "FOOL" would do better..

amid all the hype, its easy to see why even the Catholic Church is getting involved..according to a news report in the Straits Times today, the Catholic Church has stated that people have been praying to the wrong patron saint (of love) after all..its not ST Valentine but rather St Raphael who's in charge of people encountering their future spouses..ST Valentine is the quasi-divine dude who Marries love struck sweethearts who shouldnt be together...hmmm..is he going against God's Sovereign Will and getting away with it?

i'm actually a romantic at heart dun get me wrong..true romantics love tragedy and how true love is perfected in death and all that..not that farce i see on the streets of Singapore..and like all romantics i'm comforted by my Senecca and Cicero and Herodotus and all that Stoic crowd..so there, i may not have a valentine..but "Call no man happy until he is dead"..as Herodotus would put it..and "the only man who is hurt by the caprices of Fortune is the man who allows himself to be deceived by her favours first"...I Survived Valentines Day!!!!

Re entry to Blog Posting

2009-01-26T01:14:00.003+07:00

since Japan, i've been really busy and slack at the same time, which is a contradiction in terms..as i listen to Class 95 on the Singapore radio and sip my glass of white wine on the early early morning of the first day of the Chinese New Year celebrations (and type this online post on my online journal) i find myself unsure of what to post..

about my time since Japan: i've been stupid enough to apply for an internship job at an architecture firm that started just before the start of January and saw me work through New Year's Eve and New Year's Day on a Masterplan project for a Special Investment Region in Ahmedabad, India which was really rushed and full of desperate attempts to make something incomplete look presentable to Big Business Concerns..and drafting plans for Car Park facilities for a convention hall in Singapore and then preparing circulation and conceptual diagrams for an extension to an Anglican Church here..its been pretty hectic but a real learning experience..and with an uncaring Christian boss who just wants to see work completed on time without regard for employees' welfare (by one account, he delays payment of salaries by 3 weeks into the new month)..oh well, if this is working for a Christian Architecture Firm in Singapore..well, i really should reconsider a career in architecture..

about Christian ministry since Japan: i've taken up teaching Kid's Ministry on Saturdays at the Boon Keng Housing Estate near my church from where i left off last year and its been mixed..many of the children i've been sharing the gospel with and teaching the Bible to have left..Wailing because she wants to work on Saturday afternoons (yes, children as young as 12 here can work and she just turned 13 a few months back) ..Donald because he finds playing soccer on Saturday afternoons with his friends more fun than coming to hear about Jesus..Paul, Mervyn and Songlian who want to come but are afraid when Donald, whom they look up to, is not interested.. the only one left is a young boy named Kiat Seng who told me on Saturday when we studied John 3:1-21 that Jesus is so important because ______? His answer was, only Jesus can give eternal life...and his heart wrenching question, "you mean, Jesus is God's judgement on the world because Jesus shows that people hate the light and love darkness?" Truly, from the mouths of babes God has ordained wisdom..Furthermore, my church in Singapore has decided to use 2 Ways to Live as its main witnessing tool..its not true that all Asians are offended by 2 Ways to Live..many of the people my church shares the gospel with are pretty hard and steeped in rebellion against God for 40-60 years of their lives..2 Ways to Live cuts through the hubris and hits people where it hurts, at the root of our sinful rebellion..and it has produced results amongst Chinese educated Singaporeans who are hearing the gospel for the first time..

about Relationships and those affairs of the heart that really piss me off with their nagging persistence: no progress..consistent and utter disillusionment with members of the opposite sex..and cold comfort that none of my godly christian brothers here are attached yet..am i morphing day by day into this cold, mean, hard-hearted and cynical dude who just wants to be left alone from the stupidities of humanity? if i could do just what i wanted without anybody interfering, would i truly be happy? why do i like John Calvin and the reformed evangelicals so much? because they're as hard hearted as me? or is it just me taking glee at being able to offend, insult, provoke and hurt human beings whom i feel have never been particularly kind to me, like some sort of perverse revenge through preaching the gospel in a way that they will most reject? i admit, i'm as sinful in my motives and desires as anybody..

about spiritual growth and the pilgrim's progress: my sin truly i hate, and my desire is to live for Jesus, in Jesus..i realise any human being placed under sufficient pressure and the right (or rather, wrong) situation will do evil things..still its God's grace and mercy, in Christ, who took our place and died our death, that we might live in His life..He alone counts for anything..and wherever i go, whether Australia or Singapore, my submission, accountability and allegiance is to Him..

about visiting GBC yesterday: thanks Jiamin for being so welcoming..it was interesting sitting next to ur Dad and Mum without even knowing it..haha..and i would like to start an ex-FOCUS bible study in Singapore when i graduate..and i definitely would want to ask ya (being a 'Gong Focus alumni and all) to be a part of it...ex-FOCI shd continue meeting and reading God's Word together and praying..after talking to my fren Ben from UNSW Focus i realise that there is such a huge need..lets pray and dream..

Photos in Japan

2008-12-10T23:37:00.005+07:00

With the Kirisutosha Gakusei Kai (Christian Students Fellowship) at Seiwa College

The Bonus

2008-11-24T11:47:00.002+07:00

there once were a group of people who talked a lot about God's gifts to humanity..everything was a gift from God..and they are right in saying that everything we have is due to God's grace..however, and we all know there is a big "but" behind this..they wanted to show that God would only act as human beings thought was good..and chose to ignore other parts of God's character..they were like the man who looks through a narrow slit in the wall and sees the elephant's trunk, and to him, the elephant is the trunk and nothing more..

today, i'm gonna talk about tasting God's bonus a little bit..in the book of Judges, we find God's people in God's promised land, the land of blessing and rest..God took His people through hell and high water literally to bring them to this land..and everything else from the time they entered the land was to be God's blessing, peace, rest and bonus..

but God's people took for granted God's blessing and turned to serve their idols..the Baals and Ashtoreth of their neighbours..and of course God, Israel's father, was very very angry..so much so that he sent evil rulers to judge and oppress His people..

of course, God was so merciful that He raised judges from amongst His people to free Israel from the judgement that God Himself had passed on them..now, we are different from the Israelites..in Jesus, God's Spirit lives in us and we are not stubborn and disobedient like those people..we have true peace with God and God forgives us when we sin..He is no longer angry with us and does not judge us like those stubborn Israelites..the Promised Land and God's bonus in that land point us to Jesus..God's greatest blessing and Promise for us..and as a result, if we have Jesus, everything else is really secondary..if i have a family, it is God's bonus..if i have a wife, it is God's bonus..if i have a great career as an Architect or Lawyer, Accountant or Doctor..it is God's bonus..if i have nothing, still i am blessed because God has given me Jesus..

you see, God's bonus only makes sense if i have God's greatest blessing, Jesus..without Jesus, every bonus is just rubbish and counted as loss..that is what Paul says..

and now, for the punchline application: why participate in ministry? why bother about a conference like SPRTE or a mission to Japan which takes away time from my family and my best frens back home in Singapore whom i want to go on holidays with, to some exotic beach resort with some diving thrown in for good measure?after all, a little bit of water sports never did any harm..why spend time away from family over Christmas? and why the heck should one try to care for God's people when my own needs are hardly met and i don't feel like it and i want to be the happy and comfortable?

Jesus is God's greatest blessing to me.the rest is a bonus..i'm living on borrowed time..should not we have gospel priorities and kingdom concern?should we not give of ourselves just as Jesus gave of Himself? Brendan and Aaron and Emmerie encourage me at this point..they're not FOCUS helpers or ministers..they're not that close to the members of NCS who are so keen on SPRTE which is really an Aussie thing, organised for Aussie Christians..they dun have an obligation to come..yet they do..why? Kingdom living..who's really our king?

Boys Warfare Post

2008-11-23T19:55:00.005+07:00

was thinking of doing my weekly update post but realised that i really dun have that much to update about these days as i'm a pretty boring dude and i'm just waiting for SPRTE to roll around and Japan mission..pretty retarded if u ask mi..will update everyone about my battle at packing everything away for storage cos college is gonna kick me out on 29 Nov..dun worry, they do that for all college students cos thats when our contract ends and Summer accomodation begins and the money-grubbing b*st*rds need the rooms for rentin to summer students..hey but no complaints..capitalism has no heart u should noe if u wanna stay in a Bourgeois country..but that update later..first..

i recall a conversation with Tim Wong last year where we had a typical boys' talk about warfare and weapons and which gun u like versus which gun i like...n i realise that i miss that convo n the ex-radiology student..n i never got around to doing a post in honour of ya Timo (the Hom..never mind ;-) well if you're reading this Timo i hope ya like it..hang in there in pilot training ol' buddy...n gals, i'm sorry we're losing ya from this moment on..

now, Tim i noe we disagree on weapons and u think i have weird tastes and i think u've got too conventional western-indoctrinated tastes..so u like the M-16 (n i've fired it before) whereas i prefer the Ak-74 (not the earlier 47 version)...but still, u gotta agree, the world's best n most terrifying machine gun is...

Maschinengewerh MG-42

sounds like ripping cloth and with a rate of fire up to 1200 rounds per minute..chambered for the 7.92 X 57mm Mauser round..psychologically terrifying for troops that have ever faced it in action..roller-locked short recoil action for the bolt..too bad the poor Soviets din copy it and place it in production the way they copied the Sturmgewehr 44/45 and turned it into the famous AK-47...most important of all to those of us who have fired real machine guns before like the Fabrique Nationale (FN) MAG aka GPMG..it is extremely resistant to dust and dirt, weighs only 11.6 kg versus the 11.79 kg weight of the GPMG (n considering that the MG-42 fires a 7.92 mm cartridge versus 7.62mm for the GPMG, this is significant)..

i fantasized firing this weapon and throwing molotov cocktails (that other famous weapon) during the last day of my A-levels..n there were so many times in the SAF i was tempted to treat my GPMG like an MG-42 and turn it on my officers..now u noe how du-l*n i was with some ocs-iffers back then..actually dun need GPMG, SAR-21 can already...apologies to all my Second Lieutenant and First Lieutenant friends hor..this Third Sergeant (NS) say some not so nice things tonite..but i'm prob not talking about u if u are my fren..

by the way, there is a successor to the MG-42..in the post-ww2 German Budeswehr, the MG-42 was modernised and used as the MG3..similar except that it was now chambered for the 7.62 x 51mm NATO round.. n they still use it today..due to be retired in 2011..but still going strong after all these years..

Budeswehr Marines with post-war MG3

well Tim, nice reminiscing bout Boys' Ultimate Toys, Guns..dun take gun n zhua anyone hor..please..

NCS Ball and Japan Trip

2008-11-11T12:10:00.004+07:00

everybody has a happy song or a few of them..this is one of mine..and a high candidate for a wedding song..(dat is, IF i do get married)..i'll reform the old Scout campfire band with Tsang on the guitar and myself on the Bass..maybe have to get a stand-in drummer and some singers..but it'll be fun..

anyways, this song was played again at NCS Ball..where Joyce, Matt and myself had a swell time dancing n going crazy..in part thanks to Chris Webb who started the crazy twisting and jiving like he was 16 or maybe 14 again..the idea of dressing up formally for dinner to bid farewell to graduates and then having a dance floor with amazing tunes where pple can just embarrass themselves doing their lil' 2-step shuffle like myself is a pretty cool idea..and its one of those things that work only with Australians where everyone is willing to be a fool for the fun of it..unlike us uptight Asians..i was not acting in character as an uptight Asian international last Thurs nite and i loved it..haha..even though my Australian frens' view of me probably dropped a few notches because of such undignified dancing..then again, dignity is NOT a fruit of the Spirit but Pommie cultural imperialism..haha

And, i feel sad to see my frens leaving, some of whom entered uni about the same time as me..i'll miss u guys, Bambs, Luke Marshall, Josh Allen, Claire Foster, Katie Pearson..its been a wonderful 3 years..just wish i'd gotten an opportunity to hang out with u guys more..and Chris and Karen Webb are leaving us to go to SMBC next year..and just as an aside, i got to know most of these guys through my first Wintercon where i was the Only international around..and i absolutely do not regret it..on a happier note, Steve Watts is joining NCS for MTS apprenticeship next year..MTS is a 2 year ministry apprenticeship programme to prepare graduates for Bible College and eventual ministry and i absolutely recommend it for pple who are contemplating ministry..its available in Singapore now u noe? and as a final note on NCS Ball, Julie Lindemann has got a Perfect voice..;)

Moving on..Japan!its coming up very very soon..i guess i'm kinda an Adrenalin junkie who needs his regular dose of excitement every sem..last sem i travelled to Cairns and dived plus snorkelled at the Great Barrier Reef..which kinda put my whole first sem in great perspective..dis sem there was Melbourne but it really was kinda a let down...but now, Japan is coming up!! and it looks like we're gonna be budget missionaries..Mission on a Shoestring sounds like a great reality TV Show huh..am looking forward to the culture shock and clash of civilisations between West and East..especially between doing church in Japan as compared to Australia (huge difference expected) and with the rest of Asia (still a critical gap expected)..and it would be nice being a blessing to other Christians and non-Christians rather than senselessly taking all the time..at this point my Social Democratic Conscience, Post-Modern Skepticism and Christianity meet..but enough about ideology..

ilook forward to staying in Tokyo and Osaka and Biwako and travelling on the Moonlight Nagara (sounds so culturally Japan, like Cherry Blossom Airlines) and serving in Megumi church...hmmm, i need to find out the actual church names where we'll be serving..anyways, check out FocusinJapan.blogspot.com for more info..dat is, if u give a damn..if u dun, forget it, (such bourgeois utilitarian-materialist self-interested schnobs)

A short Exam Reviver

2008-11-06T05:19:00.002+07:00

To those of my friends who are currently hard at work studying for their exams or who are sitting for them as we speak, rest assured that my prayers and hopes go with you all.. i am sure that in this difficult period stress mounts and sometimes tempers fray..sometimes we feel like the end of the world has come..or sometimes we feel that everything takes on negative shades of grey..or maybe we just can't imagine it all ending and if it does, that will be the day of deliverance or salvation or vindication..but again, it will end..This too shall pass..as they say..

Well, at this point no amount of reassurance from this humble friend would quieten the fears and tensions of hearts that are laden with worry and wracked with tension..and the objective eye that wants to place things into perspective for you is cold comfort for your stomach..so probably the only worthwhile thing (and probably the best) that this friend can offer is what Job's friends did for the first 7 days they were with him..and dat is, to sit in silent respect and moral encouragement with all of you and try not to make a nuisance of myself..and NOT to become like Job's friends After the first 7 days when they opened their mouths and became a royal pain in the butt..from their performance we get the term "Job's Comforters" and rest assured, it is not what i desire to be to all of ya..

and, dear friends, here's a final word i'll throw in the mix..God is in charge and watching us in these times...so stop sneaking answers into the exam hall written on your shoes and socks...;)

End Game

2008-11-01T14:22:00.004+07:00

Blogging from a uni Pc does have its significant advantages over working from a boring monochrome Mac..well, well...i am at the strange portion of the year where i've finished my last assignment and am getting ready for my final presentation on Monday..which will end it all for this year.. and then i do have one exam on th 22nd of November..which would be for the Introduction to the Bible course under the Provisional Theological Certificate done by Moore College in Sydney...pretty rapid actually, from start to finish of the course..

working with Darius over the past few days was really cool..for once i got to work on a project with a fellow Architecture student rather than separately from them..cos Architecture is a fiercely individual, independent and competitive course which builds up one's hardness, leaness and intellectual defence..i've built some pretty tough muscle in the area of defending my work and counter-criticising my Crit tutors ..anyways, working with Darius reintroduced me to whole new genres of soft rock and pop music which i'd previously abandoned after high school...and some sappy love tunes like Taylor Swift's Teardrops on my Guitar..man..the incurable tragic romantic in me was stirred out of his deep slumber for those few days listening to Darius' music collection..and singing along while working at 3 am in the morning really helps train both the vocal chords and one's ability to handle stress...and of course, his trance music helped me carry on at the ungodly hour of 6 am every morning..even if i was working mechanically in wat i call Zombie Slave mode..even now the tunes play recalcitrantly in the deepest recesses of my mind..

and a last word which is more reflective (like in Reflective Design Theory)...i was talking to a friend recently about...lotsa stuff actualli..and one topic which came up was singleness and relationships. And my friend, being the ever kind and compassionate one who cares for all living creatures and would never harm an ant except for occasional red-back spiders which aren't classified as ants anyway..she promptly compares me to someone who once complained about the same issue and was rebuffed for being selfish and self-centred, and this was given as the probable cause for this person's long time singleness..at first i thought i was being called selfish and self-centred and it was pretty upsetting..den as i prayed and thought about it, i realised that there were lessons indeed to be learned..such as not being too hung up on singleness or marriage, that God is in control and has His plans and reasons for things and that He means us no harm even if it is painful or difficult (which again human beings never consider)..and that i often do care only for myself where relationships are concerned, rather than for others..of course, one might argue that human beings are selfish and so are our relationships, but i think that by God's Spirit, Christians should be different..so yes, i will admit that i often am selfish and self-centred, much as i try, by God's grace, to be God and other-people-centred..and that singleness is an opportunity to learn to care for others in Christian ways without false intentions or wrong motives..and this does prepare Christians in relating to their spouses within the context of marriage..because if we can care for pple and Christians not related to us as Christ intends, so much more will we care for those whom we love dearly.. i won't try to be over-analytical at this point, but i do want to be reflective as a Christian..and at his point, i will say that my friend has encouraged me in a helpful way..even if she probably wasn't thinking things through that widely or thoroughly then..

thus, it is with confidence that i will say to my fellow Christian brothers who deal with this issue on a daily basis that we should place our confidence in Christ and, to quote 2 authors i admire, " when forced to make a difficult decision, take the choice of honour"..and honour is not our own petty male ego-led honour, but Christ's honour..and what is honouring to Christ? Let Him be King and God, over our will, our desires, our ambitions, our wants, everything..

Technical Issues and updates

2008-10-25T23:24:00.003+07:00

this is so boring..blogging on my mum's mac doesnt seem to allow change of fonts or colour from paragraph to paragraph..which takes a lot of character out of my posts..the colour thing and font thing is meant to actually allow greater readability since reading a long document in black and white in times new roman is so mundane and uninteresting..and u noe mi...i want to be both interesting and good at wat i do..i wonder if i shd hav a chat with a fren of mine who's a "self-confessed mac geek" about this issue with mac blogging..

you noe, i really would like to get to noe better some of these frens who are like between 24, which is my age, and 29..cos i think there is just so much in christian ministry that needs to be done for pple in our age bracket..and being the collectivizer that i am, i've always sought to meet with christians and pple at watever time in my life i'm at and grow as christians or share the gospel together..as good ol Proverbs would have it, "2 are better than 1" and Jesus does say that a church is "2 or 3 gathering together in His name"..so, we need churching at different periods of life with pple from similar periods..

and dats y i think that i would like to meet with some of the Foci members from Singapore back home for fellowship and ministry of the Word together..Collectivised Christian Action i call it...hmmmm...just as a side thought, when Jesus comes again, will the basic unit of government and administration at the local level be the church? so in socialism, the basic unit is the commune or soviet..wat about Christianity? The All Christian Communion of Churches...thats a thought..

Recently, i had a nap between doing work for an assignment which was really tough..and i had one of those half-awake, half asleep dreams dat are just so vivid cos u dunno if u're awake or asleep..and in it, i was reliving the last day of junior collecge at Serangoon JC..and talking to PW and Sabrina...u guys remember them don't ya..and i told them the things i'd always wanted to say to them..the youthful angst came rite back and hit mi in the face all over again..that great Anger that still drives my engine to this day over the great injustices that guys who are kind and generous and nice endure from pple who just look down on them and despise them deep down..when u receive the message from certain frens that you're just not good enough for them or not cool enough to be in their little clique thru their body language and their attitude..and i was an angry young man all over again..ready to throw my lot in with whoever allowed me to best strike back at these pple and show them how they're so wrong..and that anger of course, saw me thru NS and caused me to push higher and harder and faster..and to make the decision to come to Australia..so yeah..maybe dats wat my dream was about..a re-examination of my motives and whether its all ultimately worth it..and whether as a Christian, i should think and feel this Anger..and if so, how might it be directed so as not to sin? against sin and ungodliness and hypocrisy? against injustice and the oppression of the fatherless and widows as Malachi says?

Maybe its the ungodly attitudes that i saw in these frens that i hated so much and was the cause for my anger..maybe i should be angry at sin and ungodliness in Christians and in the world rather than my frens..maybe i shuld see sin and ungodliness as The Embodiment and Manifestation of those things i endured as a youth which drove me to anger..and thrust against them harder and more fiercely than against my frens..thats a thought..

Family

2008-10-15T03:13:00.005+07:00

after getting a lift from a friend's mum yesterday to town to get some lovely and very affordable (bluidy sarcastic bloke i am) balsa wood for a model i'm making, we had to stop by Mater hopsital on the way back to pick up a frenli medical student who also needed a lift to the gym..and outside the gym i saw this kid who had finished his swimming classes and was clad only in his swimming trunks..waiting for his parents to come pick him up obviously...but in that late afternoon, the wind started to blow for a rough spell and it really was pretty chilly..

and i was reminded of my own little kindergarden days and early childhood years where i also would be found waiting outside class or school or kindergarden and good ol dad would be late by 45 minutes to an hour on average at least to pick mi up...or dear mum who bore me in her womb for 9 months and with whom i have an extremely close bond that just won't be broken (probably due to the fact that she shared her food and water with me through a tube the size of a garden hose for those nine months), dear mum who's blood of my blood and flesh of my flesh..she would often be held up by work for at least 15 minutes..i'm not complaining ..no i most definitely can't..but i did have to manage myself often during all those in-between periods growing up..

but just a few nites ago i had an extremely good conversation with both of them over the phone..you see, Mum had very wisely told me to bring her unused Macbook back with me to Australia at the start of this year "in case anything happens"..n it so happened that the night before, my laptop decided to crash and dump the entire operating system..well the data was backed up thankfully..Praise and glory to God for that..but without Mum's Macbook i would have nothing to use and would be camping in the library 24-7 for the next 3 weeks..and since the library doesnt have the Archicad software i use for rendering and can't download it due to "university concerns over the illegal download of music and multiomedia"..yeah right...capitalist rhetoric straight out of an imperialist Telstra executive's mouth...Guillotine the bourgeois apparatchiks man!

anyway, at that point i remember how Mum was always the forward thinking and strategising one who had a great deal of foresight and vision plus untold reserves of pragmatism and patience..she's the steel spine of my family that makes the boys in the family (dad and me) be civilised and have some sort of routine..else we would all degenrate into a Lord of the Flies kinda existence..must be all that Chong blood from Grandma..man, those women sure were legendary...ever heard of 5 hour long tongue lashings? there we go..

and as my good fren and bro Kumu would say, the only woman who will ever stand by you unconditionally is your own mum..the only woman who truly loves you is mum..i learnt a lot about dogged persistence and the ability to take pressure without snapping from her..i sometimes wish that life had been a little easier on her and i would want her to truly retire and not have to keep thinking about the family finances and the like..but thats life..we make the best of what the Sovereign Lord has given, good or bad..no choice in that..her lesson to me also..

and there's Dad of course..if Mum's the steel spine, he's the element of fire.. i mean, there are times when he can be embarrassing due to his extremely outgoing nature (even though he always denies this, "i only have a few friends...dun bluff la pa, haha) and he is fiercely independent (if u wanna noe wat the meaning of "doing your own thing" really is, u have to meet my Dad) and he is fiercly hot-headed also..one of the traits i've inherited from him for better or worse..attack first, talk later..but during the conversation i found out that he had actually been talking to the owners of the shop downstairs of the premises our church back home is using..before our conversation..and he told how the owners were illiterate and din understand english and how they had received a letter from "govenment authorities" aka apparatchiks telling them that their grease trap inspection had failed and they needed to do something about it in 3 weeks or else..and how, my father, being the big kaypo, had decided to translate and explain the letter to them..

i told him, come on, these pple who share the rental of the building with us have never been very kind to us..in fact, they've been downright nasty..and they refuse to separate their utilities meters from us so we never really quite know how much it is we're using since we could be paying for their useage even if we split the bill according to percentages..and how they made so much noise when we wanted to rent the vacant space above them (and its not their building also).. and how much they disturb our peace..the fair thing to do would be to just ignore them and have nothing to do with them and dats wat i would do normally..but my Dad, being a pastor..and being generous and big-hearted, promptly helps them in their need..he even told me that we're all fellow tenants and neighbours and how Jesus said we should love our neighbours as ourselves..he's right of course..which doesnt make it any easier..i want to play power politics by nature rather than show mercy, generousity and kindness..

thats why i love that man whom i call my Dad..i've always defined myself by what he is Not..especially in my growing up years..because i saw his kindness as weakness and because i saw his temper as a contradiction of his kindness and generosity..but now i realise more and more the strength of character he often shows and how we're all equally hypocritical and contradictory at some point..n how all families are dysfunctional at some point..oh well, we're family and family is special..somehow, somewhere..it is..

Quotes

2008-10-11T14:14:00.002+07:00

Over the past couple of weeks and days, i've been exposed to quite a few quotes that i've found inspirational or have reminded me of what God is like or what i should be like or why i perservere in the gospel and in my work..

The first is by Garage Hymnal in their album, Bring on the Day..I tell you ok, this Australian group is as good as Hillsongs or better...just that they're not known in Asia or anywhere else much...i delight in discovering lesser known bands like these and telling my closest friends about how good their music is..and of course, if u actually keep track of this blog then well, you're probably one of my close frens who gives a crap about my life..or mayb u're just nosy..anyways..
my quote from them is from their song, Promises...

"Not one of the promises
of God has ever failed
Not one, Not one"

God does not fail, especially in what He has promised in His Word..no, it is us, ungrateful and unfaithful human beings, who fail...and then we want to bring God down to our level by claiming that He has failed or is dead or does not exist...ridiculous arrogance..

my second quote is from today's lesson at Introduction to the Bible, Course 1 of the part-time, distance learning Certificate of Theology from Moore Theological College ..i tell you ok, i struggled to get out of bed at 8 am this morning after coming back from Sydney around 12 last nite with my frens (u noe who u are)..and after i finished class at 11am i came back n collapsed on my bed till 4 pm..
anyway, the quote is from my textbook, "those who receive God's gracious gift of redemption must respond in obedience. This is not only gratitude. It is the nature of redemption." Redeemed to obey? How interesting...

and my third quote is from Spain Rodriguez' Graphic Novel about the life of Che Guevarra (thats rite, it not a comic..comics are for children..men and artists read Graphic Novels..whatever) if you think that i'm influenced by Christian teaching on obedience and the life of the great rebel, radical and revolutionary Che Guevarra and find that a contradiction in terms i'll say that obedience to God can and should be displayed in radical, revolutionary ways that shake the established order of things..but of course, only in so far as it is led by God's Spirit and Grace and not human strength...incidentally, the only 3 Socialists i've ever respected are Leon Trotsky, Che Guevarra and Wang Min, the CCP's representative to Comintern in the 1930s-40s, who was the last true chinese Marxist and the only Chinese Bolshevik who ever lived..
i have a few Guevarra quotes:
"i believe that the division of Latin America into unstable and illusory nations is completely fictional. We constitute a single mestizo race which from Mexico to the Magellan Strait bears ethnographic similarities. And so, in an attempt to rid myself of the weight of small minded provincialism, i propose a toast to a United Latin America!"

"To label 'communist' all those who refuse to bow down is an old dictator's trick."

"I believe that revolution can be created in any country by a determined vanguard"

"The dift towards Market Economies (in the former Soviet Bloc) is an error. After the closing of unprofitable factories in Yugoslavia, thousands of those workers were forced to leave their homes and look for work abroad."

don't get me worng..i'm no communist..but i like Guevarra, his courage to the end and his firm conictions in the face of all opposition..

A Spider Story, Or The Revenge Of The Underdog

2008-10-08T14:55:00.002+07:00

I'm gonna tell ya a story abridged and adapted from Neil Gaiman's American Gods..about the little trickster spider god Anansi, or Compe Anansi as they call him..i hope Mr Gaiman won't sue me for copyright infringement for re-telling his little story (he shouldn't if he's a good self respecting post-modernist who's skeptical of human efforts to control the world through such ridiculous nonsense as copyrighting)..so here goes..

One day Mr Spider, who is small and weak and not very imposing, decides to have a bath in the River. (now this is a Jungian archetype of all rivers thats why i'm calling it, or rather her, River) Now in those days when the world was young and the gods still lived amongst men in the physical world (wait a minute, did they ever stop living amongst us?), during those days, Crocodile, well, she lived in the River, waiting silently for unheeding passersby to drink or swim or bathe in the River. And so, she would wait, still as a log, floating on the surface, watching, watching...and Mr Spider knew this. And being Mr Spider, he decided to play it shrewd. Now wat was the most important part of a person that one could absolutely not lose to Crocodile, he thought..That i shall leave on the shore with my spider spindle and spider sense and spider bite...and of course, what should it be but Mr Spider's balls..yes thats right, dun wanna have ugly old Crocodile biting off and stealling my balls..

so he leaves his balls on the River bank with his Spider Spindle, Spider Sense and Spider Bite..and he has a bath..but lo, today is his lucky day and Crocodile is nowhere to be found..and so, after an age of bathing (i exaggerate, or do i?), Mr Spider comes out of the water all refreshed and ready to go his way..now it is the supreme state of affairs in this world that when a man escapes one misfortune he falls immediately into another..so it happens that upon collecting his possessions, Mr Spider is met immediately (and not too happily) by Tiger (yes, another Jungian Archetype..are u not sick of them by now) who growls and threatens Mr Spider to tell him where he has just come from and what he has just done and why he is looking so refreshed and happy...or else!! So Mr Spider tells Tiger very shrewdly about his bath in the River and how he had the fortune of not meeting Crocodile today, and if, Tiger should decide to have a bath as well, he was sure Crocodile would not turn up also..besides, he was Tiger and if small, weak, unimposing Mr Spider could get away with bathing in the River, why should Tiger be afraid even if he did meet Crocodile..he was Tiger the fierce, the bloodthirsty, the powerful..was he not? But alas, if he should meet Crocodile, one should not do battle with her and lose his most precious possessions..so Mr Spider offered to guard Tiger's Balls for him on the River bank and keep them safe.and this of course, was exactly the arrangement Tiger made with Spider.

and of course, while Tiger is bathing, Mr Spider puts on Tiger's Balls and leaves his two tiny, spider balls on the River bank and heads off into Town...but thats not the end of the story..for, you see, on reaching Town, Mr Spider promptly hides Tiger's Balls in a safe place before singing out loud enough for Monkey (who sits nearby waiting for fruits to fall from the grocer's cart) to hear,

Tiger's Balls, Tiger's Balls,
I stole Tiger's Balls,
And there ain't nothing he could do about it,

Yes, I stole Tiger's Balls

and of course, Monkey comes jumping down from a nearby tree wanting to learn the song..and of course, Mr Spider teaches it to him and gives him free reign to sing it all over town and in the jungles...and then Mr Spider goes back to the River bank and waits for Tiger to finish his bath..and when Tiger does come out of the water, he sees Mr Spider and his Tiger Balls missing...and in a great uproar, Tiger pounces on Mr Spider and pins him to the ground..and Mr Spider screams out in fear and agony, pleeeease, Tiger, don't hurt meeee...i tried to keep your Tiger Balls safe, but Monkey, he came swooping down from the trees and stole them right before my eyes...and you know how fast and agile and nimble he is and how small and weak and unimposing i am..how could i stop him...all i can do is offer you my own tiny Spider balls in exchange for what you've lost..jussst don't killll me.." and right that moment, Monkey comes swinging through the trees, singing "Tiger's Balls, Tiger's Balls, I sole Tiger's Balls, and there ain't nothing he could do about it, Yes, i stole Tiger's Balls"..

and Tiger in great fury and anger, puts on Spider's balls, leaps up and starts chasing Monkey noisily through the Jungle.. and Mr Spider smiles...that is why, to this day, Tiger still chases Monkey and if you look between his legs, you will see the 2 smallest balls inside an oversized ball sac...and what about Mr Spider? well, he's still got Tiger's Balls...

Abridged and Adapted from Neil Gaiman's American Gods

2days and a night

2008-10-01T17:42:00.002+07:00

i'm really feeling like i've got lead in my legs and iron arms that refuse to flex or bend no matter how much u act on them or will them..and all this due to 2 consecutive days at the gym doing my 2.4 km running again, my chin ups and weights..from pec fly-in to bicep curls..and body attack today (such an apt name) and crunch which really should be Crunch!!....but it feels really good with all those endorphins and adrenaline rushing through my bloodstream and into my brain..man..such an organic drug shot..

its good to be back at the gym after an absence of around about 6 weeks..and the feeling of accumulated fat around the waistline drippin away under the intense stress of a good reverse crunch (its definitely psychological) is so good..n connectin with gym mates that i've not seen for around 6? weeks..oh boy, sorry for the long absence dudes..

and yeah..i think more clearly these days after hittin the gym..great for work and assignments and everything else actualli..haha..man, maybe i'll even get started on that bottle of weight-gainer that Chris passed me back in March..na...i dun think so..too much effort and i'm not dat serious..

and i thank God for that great bonding session with Cyril, Junsheng and Ben at the movies on Monday nite.. unfortunately, we watched the latest installment of The Mummy returns which really has succeeded in insulting all cultures involved..from Egyptian to Chinese to English...and such bloody shallow storylines that have a wooden cast n flimsy plot..which will never fail to offend any normal human sensibilities..such a crappy show..n Jet Li never spoke more than 3 sentences at a time..in fact, he appeared for no more than 20 minutes throughout the entire movie..discounting the poor computer generated versions of him of course..n did ya noe that they change some of the main characters every installment of the movie? the last time, Mad-Dog the pilot was a black man..the time before that he was an old white man..this time he's a gin-slining rough neck Scottsman(or possibly Irish)..thats just unbelievably ridiculous man..n the poor choreography of the few fight scenes was appalling..its a shame to even call the show an action movie..

enough complaining..it was good friendship, mixing and bonding that helped me get to noe the guys better..the movie was a sideshow..oh yes..3 more days till Singapore Day in Melbourne..i really need to get a good lounge suit man..where got time?

To Shian Wen

2008-09-30T01:22:00.002+07:00

Shian, u noe...u're the only Christian from those years in St Andrews School with whom i'm still completely on the same wavelength with then as now..u and i, well, we always had a mind of our own huh? in church with questioning..in life with our refusal to toe the line for the sake of toe-ing the line..and that dogged persistence when we watched our friends fall away and by God's grace we just kept on..funny how the rebels like us remained christian when the conformists fell away huh?

when i think if it was onli me who had bad experiences growing up with pentecostals and charismatics and felt so alone..i visit yer blog or talk to ya and am reminded that someone did agree and still agrees about those excesses which we want to see corrected..and how the pple in that movement (back home at least) often got it so wrong..i realise that i'm not a lone voice calling for change and repentance..others, equally part of that movement or tradition,stand as fellow travellers on that road..who can know the heart of people who've seen brothers, sisters and frens from the same churches stray and fall away? you noe what it feels like my brother and friend..

oh, that God may grant us courage and persistence to be different and to Truly live holy..rather than act religious..n that we might have the courage to say we're not perfect, but that in God's grace and by His Spirit we are making progress..you inspire me to be a different kind of pentecostal/charismatic Shian..and i resolutely set my face to be a whole different kettle of fish from the kinds of Christians we encountered growing up..the time has come to stop being lambs with regard to true holiness, repentance and preaching of God's Word Shian...By God's grace let us be lions..Its time to battle with what is wrong, sinful, corrupt and utterly abhorent to the God of the Bible within the pentecostal/charismatic movement back home..even to the extent of nailing 95 Theses (after Martin Luther's example) to the doors of our churches..

Hannibal Lecter

2008-09-30T00:35:00.002+07:00

Probably the best Anthony Hopkins movie would be Silence of the Lambs where he plays the famous psychiatrist Hannibal Lecter who happens to be a serial killer..and not just any serial killer, but one who eats his victims..or rather, parts of his victims..

The film was based on a novel created by Thomas Harris and eventually came to involve 4 novels, Silence of the Lambs, Hannibal, Hannibal Rising and the prequel, Red Dragon..its hard to tell whether the subsequent novels were inspired by the film production of Silence of the Lambs, or were the inspiration for the subsequent film adaptations of the remaining 3 novels...one thing is clear though, save for Hannibal Rising, all 3 movies were fantastic onscreen adaptations..and Gaspard Ulliel played Hannibal amazingly well in Hannibal Rising even though the screenplay and plot were pretty flimsy..

watching Hannibal Rising on my laptop today triggered memories of dark late teenage years when i also wanted to get back at an unfriendly world and unfriendly pple around me..Hannibal was THE ultimate anti-hero..actually he was a villian but a really likeable one..the next closest anti-hero would be Spawn..a hero who destroys his foes and doesn't care a hoot about saving pple which was always really a pretext for super-heroes to boost their own egos anyway..along with Paul Atreides the Mahdi Prophet from Frank Herbert's Dune Messiah and in recent years, Gregory House from the award-winning and self-explanatory show House..cut up the bad guys and eat their brains? whoah...thats a bit much even for mi..but really interesting wouldnt ya say? i wonder if Jesus had a side to Him like that? muahahaha..u never know...actually, i think there is an element of truth in that..the word hell appears 13 times in the gospels..if i'm not wrong..11 of which are on the lips of Jesus..well thats enough to disabuse anyone of Sunday School images of Jesus i think..

oh, and, let me state categorically that i think Hannibal Rising has a really flimsy story line especially at the start with the parents being killed in an air raid and Hannibal and Mischa having to defend themselves against SS deserters (thats an impossibility Hollywood, you know that? especially if you knew anything about history) but the whole way the film tries to protray Hannibal as some tortured and haunted child who goes psycho after seeing his sister killed and eaten by those deserters sounds somehow contrived (esp if u watch the show)..sometimes pple like Hannibal just are what they are without a whole sad and tragic background..and i would have preferred it that way..

but as i said..Gaspard Ulliel portrayed Hannibal as good as Anthony Hopkins..not dark and brooding or tortured..but just cruel and sadistic..because he could and was like that..and there are times when i confess i struggle to not treat pple like that..i dun only cos of God's grace..but i still find it hard not to feel negatively about pple and their intentions and actions..i want to be in control and a person who does things rather than has things done to me..but i'm only human and flawed i realise..n my thought are often wrong..so yeah, while i admire Hannibal cladestinely, i can't be like him nor do i try (which is probably good cos i dun wanna end up eating human brains...)

Tasting God's Pain

2008-09-23T04:38:00.003+07:00

Oh sing to the Lord a new song; sing to the Lord, all the Earth! Sing to the Lord, bless His name, tell of His salvation day by day...For great is the Lord, and greatly to be praised, He is to be feared above all gods. Psalm 96:1-2,4

Today i cry. i weep with they who weep and mourn with those who mourn. There was someone i know back home whom i developed a great liking for late last year and early this year. We had one of those conversations before i left for Australia this year where our positions were made clear. And we decided to remain friends. i still care for this friend deeply even though not romantically now. And just last night, i learnt of her getting together with a non-Christian guy.

From the way she talked about their relationship, i knew what will come in the days ahead. Its not pretty. We all know deep down through the work of the Holy Spirit what is right and wrong in certain matters. We know yet we do not often follow what God's Spirit prompts and we do the opposite. "I do not understand my own actions. For i do not do what i want, but i do the very thing i hate." Romans 7:15 And having come through the pain of a relationship with someone who's not a christian once, i know what its like. The pain, agony, tears, anguish, the guilt. I cry and pray for this friend and sister because i know now what the pain of seeing a close friend make a foolish decision is like. And i know how often this can lead to backsliding and falling away. Yes, i believe in God's sovereignty and election, yes i believe in the perserverance of the saints of God, but this does not remove or lessen the pain of seeing a Christian do something foolish like this that you know destroys faith and one's walk with God.

at this point i am sorely tempted to drop what i'm doing and go into full time ministry because thats where i know the real problems can be solved. you see, its not a problem with man's dwellings or environment, its not a problem with man's bodies or health, its not a problem of man's finances, its the problem of sin in his soul. And sometimes i despair for Christian manhood. when the ladies bypass godly men to go for non-christians, a chill wind cuts right through my bones.what hope is there that godly, christian men can ever get married and have families? what hope is there that christian men can raise children to be godly? we are finished. The end of christian manhood is upon us, even in our generation i fear. i remember the barrowright's song from Lord of the Rings,

Cold be hand and heart and bone,
and cold be sleep under stone,
Never more to wake on stony bed,
Never, till sun dies and moon be dead
Till the Dark Lord lifts his bony hand,
over dead sea and withered land.

Then i recall Ps. 96. God is not like that. He is above and beyond petty evil, yet is acquainted with it in the person of Jesus, His Son. In Jesus, the God who is so far above and beyond us has come down to us and suffered, like us, under the effects of this evil world. "O wretched man that i am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!.." Romans 7:24-25...yes, Jesus is the anwer to the problem of sin..and only God can help my friend now..i pray for her, i cry for and with her, but i know its only God who can work in her by His Holy Spirit and help her have the strength and courage to make decisions that please Him..

still for me today, it is the sound of great weeping and despair that resounds in my ears..and i can only cling to straws..like this one: "Though the fig tree should not blossom, not fruit be on the vines, the produce of the olive fail and the fields yield no food, the flock be cut off from the fold and there be no herd in the stalls, yet i will rejoice in the Lord, I will take joy in the God of my salvation." Habbakuk 3:17-18..Will heaven's glories be greater than the sum of all of Earth's painful miseries? One can only hope..

Growth

2008-09-20T20:59:00.003+07:00

weeks of work on my project seem to have borne some fruit and my submission for Schematic Design took place around 330-40 pm on Thursday, about a day late..but i will say that i've made progress tackling huge assignments of this scale since last semester..when i was almost completely swamped by Schematic Design submission for just a single residence..now its 14 residences in an area 22 metres wide by about 45 meteres long which really stretched my mind in Design and planning..and i must say that i'm much more satisfied with the result compared to my solution last sem..but more could still be done really..if i had the time..thats always the great enemy of an architect..time or rather, the lack of it..the other is cost but that can be worked around to produce magnificent solutions..time on the other hand, moves forward remorselessly..

and reading and studying Romans in Focus has been challenging and rewarding..many of my earlier ideas were clarified and issues which we'd not explored in first year reading Romans with Senno were raised for the first time..like the idea of Christians being adopted children who dun yet look any different from the rest of the world but yet who have a fundamental change of status in Jesus ..and helping to prepare studies in Mark every week with Dene have helped sharpen sharing the gospel and the basics of reading the gospel with students and friends who have either no knowledge of the gospel or poor English skills, or both..and have also fundamentally challenged my view of the Gospel of Mark (its like a condensed cordial drink that needs to be explained and exegeted a great deal because many issues are covered in a pithy, condensed manner) and given me a fresh view of Jesus that is completely removed from the Sunday School image of Jesus as meek and mild, kind and gentle, able to be bullied by anyone, a limp wristed namby-pamby...well, the Jesus revealed in the gospels is as full of mercy and grace as He is full of wrath, anger and fearsome fire that condemns sin and sinners (few of us ever knew that, let alone expected that huh)..and He is the King who demands complete obedience and submission, worship and allegiance..Jesus we've learning, is no constitutional monarch who has no real power over anything..rather, He is an Absolute Monarch who destroys opposition and who has Full and Active control over Everything

And Qunfeng has, by God's grace and mercy, found a job in Sydney! i am trully happy for him and thankful that i had the opportunity to care for him and go along with him to Life to the Full for a while before he left..And i pray sincerely that God will continue to work in his life and care for him and give him good friends who might be a godly influence on him..and so, another friend has left Newcastle..as i take stock of the friends who have left Newie (Jeremy, Aazac, James, Lake, Josh, Jesslyn, Branda, now Qunfeng) or who will be leaving Newie shortly (Zhaowei, Serene? Brendan? Paul? Junshi? Emmerie?) i do feel a bit sad..i still have good frens here of course, (Thank God!) but really, if i were to take stock after 5 years in Newcastle of how many frens had come and gone from my life..i really wonder if it would be an almost unbearable agony..thats the cost of studying overseas..ur frens who are also international students move on..i guess i can only be thankful and appreciate the fact that i once had the opportunity to make an impact on their lives and that we all did have some great times and fond memories together..u all remain in my heart n mind forever, Newcastle frens..Cheers!

Homeage to all who took part in the Paris Commune

2008-09-20T18:41:00.003+07:00

Freddie Mercury aka Queen aka Farokh Busarra, the performer extraodinaire and champion of the Live Aid series of concerts held in the 1980s, when i was just a few years old and a really really young Chiku, to borrow a phrase from a gd fren of mine, was The Rebel. And to all who grew up in St Andrews School during that period of the 90s thinkin that goody two shoe-in was just not quite adequate an attitude to have in life, our rediscovery of Queen and good ol Freddie was just wat seemed to be lackin in our minimal existence..yes, he was a homosexual who died of AIDS in 1990 and no, i'm no homosexual myself nor do i support that lifestyle..but that man sure rocked..and if i could have one desire in life, it would be to see Freddie in heaven leading choirs of angels in worship of God..i'm sure he'd be the perfect worship leader who'd completely remove all memories of Lucifer from God's mind..of course that would remain a futile wish..but i look up to Freddie the performer..and wish sometimes that i were like him in his charisma and charm and stage presence..especially his ability to rouse a crowd and grip their hearts, even though i think he was a pretty manipulative b*st*rd himself..

for those of us who never bought into the establishment of this world and all its trappings, but who recognized the need to bring our rebellion and anti-establishment attitude to a higher and more sophisticated level within the secular system and wreak havoc within ..well, Freddie is one inspiration..and one day, lets pray and hope that we would all be able to show to the people within that system how futile their ways are..and we grow like a cancer within everyday..

A Short Script on Architecture, or A.U.C

2008-09-06T03:17:00.002+07:00

i'm going to speak a bit about architecture and in fact, i think that i shall be doing more of these posts on my two twin loves, architecture and theology...i guess i should really stop posting stuff that tries too hard to please or that really does not show the full breadth of this self-deprecating person we know as Jonathan Chua..

About Art n Architecture:

i emphasize continuity with history and all its myriad successes and failings..thus, i support a contemporary interpretation of the Five Orders, arcading and a return to traditional models of space and a sense of place that our generation has lost under the influence of the Modernists.

i support the integration of Art and Architecture in different ways, from collage to integration wherein part reflects whole as whole reflects part..n i believe sincerely that Architecture must be returned to its rightful place as "Mother of the Arts"

we need to have a social n environmental conscience as Architects and Artists that reflects the precarious nature of the world we live in, with its countless (and senseless) wars and environmental pollution..thus the Architect must be reinstated in his role as mediator between the city and the natural, the urban and the forest..

i believe that for too long we have strayed from the path of balance, harmony, moderation, synthesis and integration and strove for extremes that hurt our built heritage, society and people.However, there is indeed a need to recognize self-organisation within the city...as elements that are on the boundary between chaos and order develop self-organisation...these elements are found in our cities whether we like it or not..

finally, let us never forget our role of service to the people and society that commissions us...let us never get caught up in self-indulgent, self-aggrandising, egotistical schemes that glorify ourselves at the expense of our commissioners..however, let us also not adopt false humility as the Modernists did and strive for senseless automation and monotony that would destroy our profession and our art, if not our souls..

lets return to the ancient call of Ab Urbe Conditta..respecting the integrity of our cities and built environment rather than thrashing it..

Reversing the Orders

2008-09-03T22:34:00.004+07:00

Lord, high and holy,
meek and lowly,
You have brought me to the valley of vision,
where I live in the depths
but see You in the heights;
locked in by mountains of sin I see Your glory.
Let me learn by paradox that

the way down is the way up,
that
to be low is to be high,
that
the broken heart is the healed heart,
that
the contrite spirit is the rejoicing spirit,
that
the repenting soul is the victorious soul,
that
to have nothing is to possess all,
that
to bear the cross is to wear the crown,
that
to give is to receive,
that
the valley is the place of vision.

Lord, while it is still day
stars may be seen through deep wells,
and the deeper the wells
the brighter Your stars shine;
let me find

Your
light in my darkness,
Your
life in my death,
Your
joy in my sorrow,
Your
grace in my sin,
Your
riches in my poverty,
Your
glory in my valley.

Amen.

Nutcracker Suite

2008-09-03T02:09:00.003+07:00

wow i tot i would kena big time from my fren but it was more of an encouragement than a scolding..well, in appreciation, i've decided to dedicate something about dance to this fren and all my other dancer frens, inc Sera..i actually watched this movie during my 'arthouse' flick time at the end of NS...tot it would be cool to see something other than Advanced Close Combat Training and puji stick fighting for once..but of course, all the guys would say its gay etc...i dun think so lor..if anyone can jump like that without breaking their neck i'll salute them man...

and of course, getting up at 4 am to do work everyday is inspired by this show lor...its called dedication can...n when it comes to dedication..doctors, architects, lawyers, accountants and pastors are the 'tough nuts to crack' lor...well..back to residential medium density housing...time to crack some nuts..

This or that

2008-08-31T23:11:00.002+07:00

i'm wondering aloud (here) for a moment..shd i return to being cold, aloof and distant, untouchable n untouched by the people aroun mi, because i somehow feel my presence is an uninvited irritation and interruption to them? or shd i keep trying to be more involved and engaged with the people aroun mi inspite of my inner sense of being left out n excluded more often than not?

i wondr if the potential to be hurt n disappointed will be less if i do the former...quite possibly..but den again, like the Modern movement, life would be so dreadfully boring without some of that (post-modern) drama..hmmmm..a tough choice to make n one that i shall probably hav to conduct a greater study of...

i could just go back to my shell of being the dark one who speaks not unless spoken to..but i never liked that fellow as well...he was cold as liquid hydrogen n i like to be warm n friendly...he was a reaction to certain groups that made mi uncomfortable to be aroun, but i din like such a reaction..but i would be free of all that crappy human behaviour that can get us down all the time..free of changeable human nature that changes faster than my socks...free of that human criticism that always gets under my skin..so tempting.......

for now, i shall continue engagement and rapport-building with human beings...but my judgement is still reserved...i shall have to calculate the costs of human involvement sometime in the near future...

no. 3 Together in Electric Dreams

2008-08-30T22:12:00.002+07:00

Oh yes my late sleeping frens, here's one by Phil Oakney about dreaming..for all your loved ones whom you miss and want to have and hold right now..with the internet age, electric dreaming gets easier every second..

Song no.2 Dancing Queen by Kylie

2008-08-30T18:11:00.002+07:00

Oh Kylie!
if we could all dance like this old chick, the world might be a happier place...

All 80s weekend

2008-08-30T17:20:00.003+07:00

here in Australia a bit boring sometimes..so have to do some lame stuff for self entertainment n motivation..i miss my Class 95 all 80s weekend..so i guess just have to come up with Jono's own All 80s Weekend..

n since i never figured how to add audio tracks to my blog..i just hav to add a few videos from you-tube...man..this is gonna make my blog like a mini-you-tube...but i'm siao one as all my frens noe..haha..well here goes..

Song no. 1

Richard Marx-Right Here Waiting, brought to ya by ur DJ Jono Singaporeman

Ahhhhhh, yes...

2008-08-30T01:44:00.002+07:00

This song is Therapy for a lonely, tired, wounded soul...i feel the age dripping off my bones once more..

Forever Young, i wanna be forever young,
Do you really wanna live forever, forever and ever,
Young?

Some are like water, some are like the beach,
Some are like the melody and some like the beat,

So many adventures good enough today,
so many song we forgot to play,
so many dreams swinging out the blue,
let it come true!

Owowowowowowowo

2008-08-30T01:17:00.003+07:00

went for Life to the Full with Brendan and Qunfeng on Thursday nite..where some cool 80s video was played..reminding mi of the Glorious 80s again..i was born in 1984 so i had about 6 years of those wonderful golden years..while i dun remember much of it, i do remember the 80s music blaring from my family's car stereo..n i rediscovered them in my late teens and early 20s..classics like Bananarama's Love in the First Degree, Square Rooms, Rick Astley's Together Forever, Never Gonna Give You Up, Flashdance, Modern Talking and All their songs..but those were pointed out to mi by my former housemate really..Richard Marx, Sister Sledge's Frankie and other classics, Phil Oakney's Together in Electric Dreams, Starship's Sara and We built This City, Berlinda Carlisle's Moonlight Shadow, Circles in the Sand and Summer Rain, Human League's Don't you Want me Baby? Tarzan Boy, FOREVER YOUNG!!! and all the classic synthesizer electric blues...man..i wonder where all that hairspray, shoulder pads, curly hair and funky colour combinations went to..

Look at the dance steps n listen to the complex arhythmic electro beats man..close ur eyes and feel it rushhing through your veins again my friends...relive the 80s!

Revolution or Compromise?

2008-08-28T00:07:00.002+07:00

Lots of pple have given me the comment that my blog posts are too damn chim/complicated, n i always see myself as sympathetic to the Post-modern idea of communication being really important to the man-in-the-street(aka "unchim" pples)..so i guess i'll hav to experiment with new story-telling techniques in bloggin...n this blog is a sort of experimental station after all so...here goes..

in the cool land of Ash, there were once 2 boys...one was called Eric and the other Jack..now if u hav not noticed, these are corny names as hell, but they will do for the purpose of this story..Eric was strong, fit, sporty and everything that a classic hero should be..Jack, however, was thin, scrawny, weak and not very confident of himself..

as they grew up, Eric always had the best that life could give him..n pple liked Eric..especially the gals..who were attracted to his strong, full muscles and cute boyish features..Jack, on the other hand, was not dat well-like by pple..he was shy and not able to express himself well, and was not a muscular, sporty male..in fact, he was quite poor at sports..and of course, the girls did not like Jack..he never felt so alone like when he was growing up

and when the time came to work..and this was a time before university opportunity was widely available, Eric took over his father's plantation in Ash and became a rich land owner..and Jack, not having the confidence to do anything great, decided to work for Eric as a servant..in Ash, servants were almost treated like slaves...n Jack was treated quite poorly during these years..

however, as the years passed, Jack grew stronger n more confident as he worked in the fields..the land seemed to give him a dignity he never had before..he knew at exactly wat time the sun would rise in the sky and the time it would set..he knew wat to add to the soil when it did not produce stuff..he knew the fastest way to harvest watever it was they were growing..

and Eric grew more and more dependent on his servants and people around him..he did nothing by himself..gradually, his muscles became fat and he put on weight..his mind was less sharp then before and he just found it hard to concentrate..

now Jack wanted to be free of Eric..n so, he led a group of servants in a huge revolution to win their freedom..because Eric was unwilling to let them go, which was quite normal really..Just when Jack n the servants were winning however, Eric decided to make a deal..if they compromised, they could share in the harvest and the land equally n live free..

this sounded good to Jack..n so they made a deal..n gradually, step by step, Jack came to become exactly like Eric..n the whole point of the revolution was just that..to become like the people who they rebelled against..

Does compromise kill revolution? Will weakness come when revolution ends? What does dis mean for a revolutionary like mi?

Gu Wa Zai

2008-08-25T23:27:00.002+07:00

all the secondary school boys wanna be Ekin Cheng in Young and Dangerous rite? same here..when i was 14 i also wanted to be that kind of pai kia/ah beng..but of course i too ang-mo-fied so cannot make it..but wa lau eh, all of us used to think those students involved in gangs were damn cool la..especially since all the ah lians will gives them some gangsta luvin lor? hahahaha..siao eh,chup de lou?kua simi l*n? bei song limbei ai sio pa?

how did i ever survive secondary school man?

Closing Hymn

2008-08-25T18:23:00.005+07:00

Long ago, before i went thru my dark period in the army, there was a time when i was a Saint...not a saint as in a godly Christian guy...but a Saint as in a son of St Andrews School (SAS)..also called the Fighting Saints, the place where boys became men, the House of St Andrews, the blue and white, the SA Commonality..n i was a very self-righteous loyalist back in those days

Of course, over the years a lot of things have changed and God has changed me also..however, the 3 men who still made the most important impact on my life remain Jesus Christ, Harry Tan and John Calvin (well my own human father also but he's different, being my dad)...

Harry Tan, our former principal before Priscilla Krempl, passed away of cancer on the 7th of August. He was never my principal, having left the year before i entered the halls of St Andrews, but he came back on and off and taught a few after-school classes in Additional Mathematics which i attended, so he was my teacher at least.I remember him being full of wisdom and insight, being fast on his feet, a real thinker and a godly man who gave fiery devotions from the pulpit at morning devotion(n i was privileged to hear just one of these when he was invited back). His most famous quote was, "if you only had 5 seconds before the examiner said 'pens down!' how would u go about solving this equation?"generations of A-maths students survived and even did well thanks to Harry.And he was an avid commentator on sports, especially rugby, which was a quaint sport in Singapore, a left-over from British days, quite unlike here in Australia where it is the contemporary secular religion..oh n those stories every National Day! (when a boxing ring was set up in the quadrangle and where the boxing club gave a display of their prowess) Those stories of how Harry used to drag boys caught in gang fights and after school scuffles into the quadrangle and have them slug it out in front of the whole school..den they'd have a taste of wat a real fight was like..every son of St Andrews aspired to be like Harry, the epitome of Christian manhood, back in the day..

and he's gone...like dat..thus ends an era of our House's history..the days that are upon us bring no end of challenge and adversity, while we must needs make do without our principal,gone on to be with our Lord in the bosom of heaven..Oh, dat one day when we have finished our journey here on Earth, we also might join in with Harry in God's presence thru Jesus..oh..dat the grief of having Harry taken from us in such manner will be comforted by the thought of the infinite joys of heaven, the least of which is to see him again..dear Saints, brothers and sisters, from Harry's example learn trust, grace and readiness...while in this tent of flesh let us never put away our hope for the Day of Redemption that is to come..

May the final word go to the last stanza of the St Andrews Hymn,

Before us and beside us,
Still holden by Thy hand,
A cloud of unseen witness,
Our elder comrades stand;
One family unbroken,
We join in one acclaim;
One heart, one voice uplifting
To glorify Thy name.

Scent of Orange Jasmine

2008-08-18T00:42:00.002+07:00

People who really noe mi will tell u i'm actually quite a fan of chinese pop culture...actualli i think i've becom super cheena-fied these past 3 years in Australia..which i darn strange..since its supposed to be an ang mo country...all thanks to my (meng ada) Malaysian, Hong Kong, China and cheena Singaporean frens..

i dunno why also but this song keeps stickin in my mind sia..its qi li xiang by Jay Chou

the whole night it rained
my love is abundant like the rain
the leaves fall in the garden
my feelings piles high with them
you appear in every page of my book

last time in school write such things sure kena scolded by teacher for being corny la, lame la, waste time never pay attention in class la, ...blah blah blah..KKNB man..but really i like the poetry of it and how it rolls of the tongue (in chinese) easily..haiz..thats wat i aspire to be like..equally at home talking about Jay Chou's latest chinese MTV and the cute taiwanese chick inside(i like Taiwanese gals..they are so cute..at least in the MTVs la) and discussing John Calvin and Michel Foucault in the next breath

Dance to This!

2008-08-17T01:51:00.002+07:00

I always thought Linkin Park (who reminds mi of an angry old man from SISPEC Bravo Company) could never be reconciled to my Christian beliefs..until i heard this song at the Queen's Birthday Convention at St Andrews' Cathedral down in Sydney during one of the Coffee Breaks..the running joke of the day was that ol' Phil Jensen, the Speaker, had a thing for Linkin Park as well..at his age, really..tsk tsk..

Well my fren-who-happens-to-be-a-Christian-dancer-and-whom-i-promised-to-write-posts-that-you-could-
understand-rather-than-chim-o-logy, try using this as one of ur dance tracks and choreograph a really powerful one...by God's grace of course..;-)

Delirijono

2008-08-14T03:28:00.000+07:00

its been almost 2 years since Deliri-jono made an appearance here on this blog..its bout time i let him out again..be warned..

Psychedelic colours! i see the sun thru these bones here...tell mi of the oracles..how many bones does the human body have? thigh bone, leg bone, head bone, wish bone...dog bone? mummy had a doggie once ate chickens it did...blood is always tasty after desert,killed doggie for the kitten..

open doors always lead to endless corridors...high collars n keys for chains..prison cells are good building art..lock door n throw away the key in the shape of whats-is-name? Spongebob round shirt? what happened to Big Bird?Big equals the new lettering of letter-writing. Green is the new black..or black is the new black...or green?yellow?

Love is all around actualli is the best movie on screen tv that cable owns..show mi the money baby..mummy said i could..no..i said that what is the thing that is not near or far? here? hear..her..all you need is love...

Zozzie the mozzie i will turn you into a creature that ate half the world n developed indigestion..she's eaten her babies...baby hamster...baby friendstre..You are the only 1 to be with on the desert island...number of times you appears in the english dictionary...6238.3 times..the magic number ruling the world is none..Zero zebra zorse zack zhap zimmerman zarathustra zoroastrian...

i will be good n badness shall be a good boy in the class..no trouble..werewolf animagus morph phenomenology..give me a steak! no break in claiming a stake with a stake made of steel..i like metaphors of soaring birds n flying beasts...creepy crawlie..

mist too on mew renew view yew...asphalt roads are in good order..they wait for the burgers to fall upside down..hard landing..too much trouble i want only to be left alone..navarrone..into the zone of inner outerness...try some orange juice with that lava in the sun looks perfectly healthy..good tan n tone..misting listing on the property market i will buy some capitalist vegetables that Marx uprooted...wats the other name? boillabaise...

Confessions

2008-08-10T00:57:00.002+07:00

i need pple less today than 10 years ago-why i hav no idea, but i seem to feel most comfortable alone..

pple hurt mi..i dun like being hurt..ergo i dun really like pple-to heck with the rest of the universe..its just God n mi..like good ol Henry David Thoreau

i dun like free will..its just too much power in the hands of a depraved n wicked humanity..which i already confessed i dun really like-i like directness, clarity n simplicity

i'd like to be loved but am hesitant to show love..for fear of being hurt..which would confirm my hypothesis that i dun like human beings..n sometimes, to confirm a hypothesis is scary..

there was a foolish man who used to believe that everything is mystical n everything had a deep spiritual meaning..he paid greatly for his folly..bad things happen in God's will but often without human reason..because human beings screwed it up in the first place..therefore i shd not like human beings..that fool is me..

serving and loving pple takes its toll on everyone..not least me..many pple i serve in Christ's love i'm not particularly fond of..n if they think that i irritate them and make their lives miserable by constantly challenging them to godliness..well, the feeling is mutual..they irk me n make mi miserable too..which is another reason i dun like human beings..because serving n loving them is so difficult..

these are my confessions..God help mi overcome these flaws

What was That..or Beer Chivalry

2008-08-05T22:26:00.001+07:00

Hey beautiful..see ya..

chicken rice talk

2008-08-05T20:47:00.002+07:00

i've never talked about a good night at Focus Bible study here in Newcastle Uni before..tonight was exceptionally good..n on several layers..

Michael n i cooked up some chicken rice with some help from a jar of chicken rice ingredients..i will same, however, that this was only half the amount needed for the rice..the other half came from steaming a chicken and several drumsticks for the chicken oil and then using that oil, with sliced ginger, to add to the mix we placed in the rice cooker, with the rice..n we also roasted a chicken separately...so we had white steamed chicken, roast chicken and lots of chicken rice..oh yes, also oyster sauce vegetables with some fish sauce and our own self-made chicken sauce..consisting of light soya sauce, sesame oil and sugar..as authentic as we possibly could do it..i think that everybody had a filling meal..Michael is a great cook who came up with the idea n its really interestin to work with him..

then we had Bible study..tonite was a bit small..only like 16 pple around n mostly regulars..i think it turned out well because we really had a great starting introduction discussion on knowing/meeting famous pple..lots of laughter n i feel that many of this year's first year kids have begun bonding with the older batches of students..inc myself..

we're currently going through Mark and tonite we did Mark 9-10..lots of interesting discussions and i was really challenged myself as a helper in Bible study (which is one reason why i consider tonite great)..that no one has exclusive access to Jesus was really challenging..esp in the context of our discussions about responsibility, office and worth..also that greatness in God's currency is servanthood..that was a gd and humbling reminder..finally the hardest lesson of all, and that is, accepting pple in Jesus' name especially when they add nothing to our worth..because thats the meaning of accepting children.. they are nothing and worthless to a king..yet Jesus says accept these because in doing so, you are accepting God and Christ..i struggle with this because i dun like how this passage has been traditionally used by christians to emotionally blackmail others into not opposing pple who come with impure motives.."no, must accept the guy, even if he is actually very wicked and wants to harm u"..its true in one sense..but dat does not mean we shd b foolish..n i dun like the high moralising, legalistic attitude that Christians twist this passage into..so, you must do good to all the children in the world because Jesus said you must love and accept them and thats the end of the christian message fullstop..n u must accept pple from all backgrounds without telling them that Jesus also commands them to change..its not so shallow man..n lastly, i struggle with this because many pple whom i grew up with n stressed this passage in its most literal meaning were the most prejudiced, bigotted and unkind pple i noe..but i realise that Jesus does want me to accept pple and love them, but not just stay there, but move on to the central theme of Jesus Christ showing this loving acceptance in dying on the cross for sinners..alrite..its not always hard doctrines that i need to affirm..

n thanks Sheeana(codename) for answering "male pride" when asked wat made the disciples ashamed to tell Jesus what they were discussing on the road (it was about who was the greatest incidentally)..that really amused mi..always sobering to hear a healthy dose of feminism..even in Bible study..

n it was good to talk to Cyril about wat i term, the Shaun Foo topic...all u guys who were there last yr end in McDonalds near my place after dinner, esp Kumu shd noe wat this refers to..i wish that the church would not make the topic a sin, or rather, a taboo subject..in understanding, be men..therefore, do the right thing n talk!!

n i found Melissa Loh on facebook last nite..added her n am expecting to b given hell for my trouble..who's Mel Loh..well my frens from the NWO n mayb Richard will understand from this: Sesame Street today is brought to u by the letters N, J and C as well as the numbers 2,0 & 3..figure it out..

To th Immature all things are Immature

2008-07-31T21:31:00.002+07:00

Dec 2004..it was supposed to be high monsoon season..but it was burning..n humid..n the mozzies were out as normal..n my section under PT Lim n mi were with the other pioneers getting ready to do a little demolitions exercise..i can't tell where or wat types of explosives were being used or else i'd be arrested for breaching the Official Secrets Act but i can say it was a life-changing experience...i sobered up pretty fast to the ever present realities of wat it is we were training for in NS..i mean, the process started why i first set foot on Pulau Tekong on Day 1 of BMT...n SISPEC was like getting exposed to real command stuff..but that day in Dec 2004 was when most of it came together..

i miss Damien's sometimes annoying tone but he was always very realistic n practical...they were all very very mature..n many of the pple i've encountered at uni are not....there is an old saying..to the childish all things are childish...n to the immature, all things are immature..such ppl only view the world thru a narrow minded n small vision..i really really miss that kind of clear, practical, wats next kind of thinkin from the army sometimes...no nonsense, direct, rough n tumble..dun like it ya can blah blah blah blah..n after the job, we'd have a smoke aroun the yellow box..n though those were dark days for my faith, they did refine my character

i'm missin Singaporeans..esp those from a combat background..sometimes, in life, a little clear headed no nonsense is good..even at uni...n especially college..man..i think i need to hang out with some Singaporeans here more...rite Johnnie?;)

den again, it might be better if i found pple that i'm on the same level with...or aroun this age...all due respect to my younger peers n frens...but i do need some frens my age sometimes..i dun feel the need to stick closely to a certain group of frens or hav to form a clique...i will be equally frenli to all but i dun think i need to purposely be close to pple..i think i need to translate that reality into concrete terms in getting a car...haha

Change or Why a Christian should Always be Apolitical

2008-07-21T19:02:00.002+07:00

As Joshua built on the work of Moses, leaders of today – the ‘Joshua Generation’ – must build of the foundation of previous generations to move our nation forward.

“The final thing that I think the Moses generation teaches us is to remind ourselves that we do what we do because God is with us. You know, when Moses was first called to lead people out of the Promised Land…the Lord said I will be with you. Throw down that rod. Pick it back up. I'll show you what to do. The same thing happened with the Joshua generation.
Joshua said, you know, I'm scared. I'm not sure that I am up to the challenge. The Lord said to him, every place that the sole of your foot will tread upon, I have given you. Be strong and have courage, for I am with you wherever you go. Be strong and have courage. It's a prayer for a journey. A prayer that kept a woman in her seat when the bus driver told her to get up, a prayer that led nine children through the doors of that Little Rock school, a prayer that carried our brothers and sisters over a bridge right here in Selma, Alabama. Be strong and have courage.”
-Barack Obama's Address to Brown Chapel A.M.E. Church, Selma, Alabama, on the Anniversary of Bloody Sunday.

I support Barack Obama as a Southeast Asian because i think he would bring a fresh outlook to government of the world's only superpower..which is wat is needed so desperately and is wat the world, which includes Southeast Asia, definitely wants right now..moderation would be advanced as well as clear-headedness..i think his competitors look tired and worn out, especially Senator John McCain..he would remove a great deal of that evangelical involvement in American politics which gives Jesus Christ such a bad name..more on that in a minute..and he might ensure that the United States is less flippant about foreign military intervention..

However, as a Christian with a Christian conscience, i find that i cannot agree with his attitude towards faith ..while pluralism is a reality of our increasingly pluralistic world, it is against the nature of my Christian faith to compromise and accept, as a given, plurality in any, and every, situation..i would have to tearfully say that Christianity is different from the other religions even as i would continue to fight for tolerance of these same religions in the world..it goes against the grain of everything i have always held fast to, liberte, equalite, fraternite..i always have and always will, support the French Revolution and everything it stood for...Monarchy is evil and Republicanism is the only way of government until Jesus returns..Terror is tyranny without Virtue and Virtue is powerless without Terror..Liberty must be bedded on a mattress of corpses..the tree of Liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants..Now is the time when the sun-shine patriot and the turncoat republican will be revealed...yet i cannot turn against my faith..the Christian is different from the world..Christianity is different from 'other religions'...Christianity allows me to tolerate other religions even as i disagree with them..but Christianity is not equal to other religions...neither are all religions one homogenous soup...

As such, i think that Barack Obama has unwittingly, misquoted scripture in applying Joshua to the fight for freedom...it is about God's Providence yes, but it is not an iron-clad guarantee that God approves of what American or Obama is doing..we run the danger of putting words into God's mouth that He never says..the idea that America is the same as God's Promised Land for Israel in the Old Testament is a very bad, and mistaken, assumption..

i think that Christians should not try to 'force-fit' scripture to justify their own ideas and actions...Respect the Bible and please lets not use it as a political tool...which brings me t the crux of wat i want to say...politics is a dirty, very wicked game that manipulates and twists and turns cruelly for a person's own benefit...wat part can a Christian have with this? oh, of course a Christian should be involved and concerned about our world and our nations...oh, it is even possible for a Christian to be a politician..but lets not think for a minute that a Christian politician is any better than a non-Christian politician..the weight of history, from Constantine's Rome, to Calvin's Geneva, to Cromwell's England..and now (supposedly) evangelical and born again George Bush Jr..seems to be on my side...

Viva La Vida! My old Anarchist SPirit Stirs

2008-07-13T22:36:00.002+07:00

Hasta La Revolucion Le Siempre!
A Better World Awaits

Death and all His friends

2008-07-13T21:38:00.002+07:00

am currently listening to Coldplay's latest album, Viva La Vida Or Death and All His Friends..significant change in style from where they used to be..much edgier, raw-er and darker...still melodic and with all those complex harmonies..but they've definitely matured in a direction i admire and enjoy even more..

i dun really like dis..Wintercon starts tm and i've got some responsibilities yet i'm feeling dark and angry again..not a good sign at all..

watchin the Watoto Children's Choir in action today really was an enriching and rewarding experience..and a gd talk with my fren(u noe who u are) was a pleasant surprise.. reminded mi once again that pentecostal christians do hav a heart and soul..as well as a social conscience..mayb my Disillusionment wif that movement is heal-able after all..i still dun like said movement's false optimism and denial of reality though..

as for Singapore, Grandma still isn't very well but she's really old and has had a good life..wat more can one ask? i onli pray that she does noe the Lord and that when she goes, she'll go in peace without a great deal of pain..n i really miss having good conversations with Kumu..we really need to talk about the last 6 months man..you'll always be my good confidante and bro whom i relate to best..and i wish Kian, Richard and myself had more time together..man, wif u guys beside mi, goin to war would be much more reassuring..haha..i mean that, really..n it does disappoint mi to noe that everytime i head home, i find out how much of everyone's lives i'm missing..

Wintercon is today n i'm lookin fwd to it..even if i've got to take care of some kids who r first-timers..(these noe who they are)..hahahaha..cajoling infants is really not my strongest point..;) mayb i shd try caning instead........

the Grace of God abounds to the chief of sinners...that drives mi on and allows mi to take watever comes my way this sem..not because i'm worthy and deserving, but because i'm evil n sinful yet inspite of this God showed me His unmerited grace and favour..and God's grace lights fires in men that are not easily extinguished...

Holidays

2008-06-17T20:19:00.002+07:00

How do i relax and spend a little time regaining my sanity after a long and crazy semester? by travellin for 5 days to Cairns..and doing a little scuba diving, snorkelling and other fun stuff here..like exploring Australian ecotourism...so tranquil and relaxing and refreshin...

at least i get to reconnect wif God, nature and a part of myself i've not seen in a while...getting back on Wed...and hav Wintercon stuff to prepare after dat..gonna be a long haul again...well at least i dun feel like such a loser and all alone in the world and unloved and depressed...at least i noe that there are places where i can hav some peace in the world and pple won't bug mi...and i feel good...and u noe...i regain some self-confidence..dun hav to always feel left out and an outsider when i'm by myself in a peaceful, serene place..at least i dun feel like the whole world hates mi and dislikes mi when i'm on holiday..in Cairns..

Still No. 1

2008-06-13T02:39:00.001+07:00

Still no.1 in terms of humour and sheer stupid lyrics plus a darn catchy tune that juz won't go away...give it up for Dragostea Din Tei Numa Numa *applause*

Some Music Videos

2008-06-12T03:43:00.002+07:00

Sometimes its just too late to apologize...friendships breakdown and human beings hurt each other..sometimes the damage is irreparable...forgiveness is a process but damage thats done remains done...this is for a friend and Christian bro whose galfren cheated on him and broke up with him when he found out..but God is still sovereign my bro..and John Calvin and scripture would back mi up on dat..Real Christians are marked by suffering...

Acerbic is how i like it

2008-06-11T23:39:00.002+07:00

This is for the list of idiots who think i know nuts about music..maybe i dun...but i dun really care wat u think either...haha..how bout some Acid Jazz? Edgy..

Art Theory

2008-06-09T22:08:00.003+07:00

since i am an architecture student who's concerned about art and such stuff, i think i should spend some time talking about art and art theory here on my blog..i should talk about wat influences mi as an architect and artist...

the works of Richard Serra including his large sculptural works that are one half art and one half building move me to think about challenging the system and also to appreciate mass and its interractions with space. I begin to conceive of planes of materiality that intersect each other and blur the boundary between wat is inside and outside a building/art form...

and also, some paintings like that of Jacques Louis David and his Oath of the Horatii (1784) cause me to ponder the moral implications of art and art discourse..the idea of loyalty to higher ideals than regional or family ties is simply stirring..when i look at Oath of the Horatii i think of my higher loyalties to God and His kingdom which transcends my own petty human concerns and human failings...it says, i may be a failed and flawed human being, but some things i make my stand on...some things cause mi to draw a line and say, watever else i maybe, in this i will be defined...

the story of Oath of the Horatii is a long and complicated one and the story of its creation even more so...i'll spend some time dwelling on both..

The story is told by Livy that in the annals of the founding myths of Rome there were 2 rival cities on opposing hills..one was Alba Longa, descended from the loins of lonely Aeneas, who survived the fall of Troy and established the city of Alba Longa on the Alban hills..the other was Rome herself, a young, rising city-state that had been founded a few hundred years before by the twins Remus and Romulus on the Roman hills..now these 2 cities were originally peaceful towards each other..until the growth of Rome threatened Alba Longa..not wanting a long, violent and bloodthirsty war, both cities made an unusual decision..to settle scores by a combat to the death of 3 warriors each..3 for the Romans and 3 for the Albans..now in the city of Rome, no 1 could beat the prowess and strength of the Horatii triplets... and on the Alban side, by some quirk of the 'gods'..no one could overmatch the Curatii triplets..so both sets of triplets were chosen to represent their respective cities..

however, things were complicated by the fact that one of the sisters of the Horatii was engaged to one of the Curatii triplets...and one of the Curatii sisters was married to one of the Horatii triplets and had a son by him...so strong ties of family kinship bound both families on opposing sides...the painting is of the scene where the father of the Horatii holds up the swords of the triplets and they swear allegiance to Rome over their familial ties..they will not rest until either they kill the Curatii and secure Rome's future or the Curatii kill them and destroy Rome..for which there would be no cause to go on living anyway...in the background, one sees the Curatii wife and her fellow sisters-in-law weeping and trying to cover the face of their half Horatii, half Curatii son, who refuses to shy away from the awful destiny that is before him..that his father will kill his uncles..this piece is painted in the neo-classical style and presents the minimal background compared to the prominent foreground in order to show display the importance of the unfolding scene..the chiarascuro (light and shadow) effects are superbly executed, the perspective is shallow but perfectly rendered and there is no hint of brushwork, signifying the lesser importance of the artist in comparison with the image..

in its time, Louis XVI loved it..it gave legitimacy to the French state that was on the eve of the French Revolution (painted in 1784) and recalled imperial glories and harked back to the legacy of Rome..it was commissioned expressly to fulfill a didactic moral role which was to teach the French people to place loyalty to France above their own personal disagreements with the monarchy and their regional loyalties..apparently, the Jacobin revolutionaries loved it as well..since it reinforced the notion of Republican France, even though it was commissioned originally to serve the interests of a monarchical France..the idea of the transcending value of art and its ideals is brought up...context changes, but good art should always ring true with a timeless message..

Dis-Pair

2008-06-03T00:55:00.003+07:00

What is man?

Semester Rant

2008-06-03T00:09:00.002+07:00

ok this has been a pretty dead space since February when i came over...n God knows its been a long and trying semester where once again my architectural ability is called into question severely.

sometimes i wish that i had more talent and skill in architecture and with draughting.. i hav that burning passion to draw well and design well and on bad days (and God alone knows how many there've been recently) its only the promise i made that i'd someday use these skills for good in God's service designing and building churches and schools that keeps me going and copping watever flak from my lecturers and tutors on the chin..

as i look back dis semester i can't thank God enough for His Grace and mercy...in everything from getting time extensions to assignments to handling certain romantic issues which have proved to be a quagmire that God kept me from blundering into..

Dad was talking to me yesterday night about the direction Charis Full Gospel Church should go in the next couple of years..its been great knowing that John Stott's book , The Living Church has been having such impact amongst the ministers of my home church.. As an independent pentecostal church we truly do have the opportunity to be different and to ReallY preach the Full Gospel according to the Bible..imagine a Bible based church that teaches God's Word fully and fearfully and that equips members with great tools in reading the Bible and doing ministry... Calvinist Reformed and also fully charismatic and tongue speaking. Truly counter-cultural and truly marked by suffering for Christ. The rebellion that started when we pulled out of AG Singapore will be complete. That fundamental questioning of our foundations which began all those years ago will have been answered by God. We will take God and His Word over the shallow theology of a generation of prosperity gospel preaching. Amputation of the diseased limbs has produced a healthier whole.

on another note, it gets damn lonely here man..wish i could spend time with ahemm..Kian and Richard noe who i'm referring to..not a day goes by without mi thinkin about her and praying over her..Y do i as a Christian noe nothing but sufferings and never the joy of having some1 who cares and understands mi? someone once told mi that we all pay a price for that which we desire most..is the price of desiring God a lifetime of pain and loneliness? is the price of becoming an architect (even a Christian one) the cost of sacrificing the best years of my youth and energy? like Shakespeare's Merchant of Venice,"a pound of flesh for your soul"? a price to pay there is, the dark thoughts drone and descend once more..

Showing Care and Concern

2008-01-27T23:25:00.000+07:00

my fren was tellin mi of some issues that some members of her family are facin today...n i realised some very important things..

pple r given to us to care for n show concern for...so dat we may grow in such areas...to b fully human n fully Christian..of course, modern society would say no...everythin is economics n dialectical materialism or hedonism..but Christians should b more considerate n concerned n charitable...

we're different after all...so, its wif some disdain n disgust dat i recount the followin story...u see, my church worships in a commercial building...so we rented a floor n use it for services...n there are 2 other churches worshippin in different floors above us..so its realli a very Singaporean thing to have 3 churches worshippin in the same high rise buildin and havin mail sent to the same address..

the issue is dis..the members of each church r not very kind or generous or Christlike to each other...so, we fight over space in the elevator down after our services (unfortuanately, by some strange quirk of God's will...mayb predestination, our services have similar timings)...we fight over carparking space n we mutter curses n unfrenli stuff under our breath..i'm disgusted wif them n myself for such wanton behaviour...

we need to repent coz our actions n behaviour is anything but Christlike...n we are a slur on the name of Jesus Christ n a shame to Him...i recall the famous verse in Isaiah regardin Israel, "Because of you, my name is profaned amongst the nations"...we suck...period..

so there, we all need to grow in Christian care n concern for each other n in charity, longsuffering, grace, care, concern, love and kindness..i'm sorry for my actions n short temper..

Top 10 countdown

2008-01-21T15:42:00.000+07:00

Who's really the king of the Universe? Not dis man thankfulli

2008-01-21T03:16:00.000+07:00

while searchin for videos that highlight how human beings who try to run their own lives without God or with themselves as king in God's place inevitably screw up...i found the greatest example of a screw up tryin to run the world's most powerful country(n i'm not too sure about God being honoured as the rightful king inspite of all that rhetoric)..Thank God the universe does not come down to dis bloke's rule...

am i missing Australia?

2008-01-20T23:33:00.000+07:00

i hav no ans to dat qn i juz posed in the title..i think i do...but i'm dreadin the whole semester startin again n havin to face some of the most dour lookin n poor attitude givin lecturers n tutors aroun...they couldnt even motivate or inspire a koala...wat more a student?

i do look forward to unichurch n Focus n solid bible study again..i dun find much of dat here in sg...honestly...had a talk wif a fren recently whos back from australia as well n who was part of FOCUS there...but not from newcastle...she agrees generalli...churches in sg talk bout lots of stuff but are not sharp n clear about stuff like full time christian ministry n work n life priorities...n even wat ur salvation means in practice on a day to day basis..

n i wanna juz submerge myself in ministry n my studies n juz not think bout the whole gal n relationship issue...y is it so difficult for a guy to hav his feelins reciprocated i wonder? ok nuff philosophical musings..

been tryin to keep track of unichurch sermons via podcast(or rather, Hunter Bible Church)...its been helpful...thank God for good use of modern technology..i would like to make better use of stuff like you-tube videos n Audio-Visual media for emceein in church n in teachin kids church...how can i do so? hmmmm...shall use my blog as a testin ground for such media...

inertia and determination

2008-01-08T00:50:00.000+07:00

am filled with a great deal of inertia now in gettin things done...be it my bible study on the book of James that i'm supposed to e-mail to Paul n Lake...or in gettin my research done on housing patterns in Singapore which i promised i would do as part of my so-called personal summer research..

the onli bright spots would b the weekli kids church ministry that Charis church is doin at the local Boon Keng area and of which i'm a teacher...for better or worse..so, actualli puttin in2 practice the skills i've learned at NTE in sharing the gospel with children and presenting God's Word in a fun and excitin manner has been very rewardin and challengin...the stuff we learn at NTE is really like swimmin in a pool...but real ministry is like swimmin in the open sea with all the inherent dangers...but i kinda like the thrill and excitement involved..

lets talk about some of the kids who have been comin to kids church...C, the 9 year old whose father walked out on the family when she was born(n she's never met him)...beautiful and sweet and smart...n W, the 11 year old gal whose mum walked out on their family 3 years ago..very interested but reserved...D n J, the sisters who live nearby and come to our kids church even though they actualli go to another church on Sundays, Pt, the kid whose birth parents sold to his aunt because of financial difficulties...in the gifted programme of his primary school (for students with genius level intelligence)...who said when we first did 2 Ways To Live that he wanted to choose to live with Jesus as his king rather than anyone else..n others like the half thai siblings P&P n the 2 gals we've been tryin to disciple who were saved a while back but whose father is a chinese temple medium(predestination at work)

i realli dun noe wat to teach the kids under my charge after we finish 2 ways to live...which is in 2 weeks...been prayin about it n I do feel that these children need to noe wat the True love of God the Father is realli like...so i believe thats the direction that we'll be goin..

n i dunno wat to do bout another issue: there are some pple in life u wish u'd met earlier...there are some pple whom one could say i'd b happy to just b wif this person for one day n heck about the rest...n when it seems that this person shares many things in common with u...or at least, lots of common discussion topics...n the most important is ur faith...one realli begins to think that mayb i'm gonna get thru life after all...its not all bleak n dark...but it just seems too good to be true n u're alwaez waitin for the other side of the story to come crashin in...thats the dark/bad side...

at the decisive point where one can really say, i don't know wat i'm doin or wat to do...except pray n ask God to be Lord of this situation...its also the most scary....

I sue ya...Crazy Americans..

2008-01-07T10:41:00.000+07:00

Frens' Frens

2007-12-17T23:37:00.000+07:00

it seems that Kian's galfren has the same name as another fren of mine i noe..we had a good laugh about it on Sat nite at Boon Keng Prata shop...n of course he had to say,"if u n ur fren-who's-also-got-the-same-name-as-my-galfren get together then when u introduce her to us...its like who copy who..." yes kian...very perceptive...n no, i'm still single...but its a good laugh..

n today, i acted like i'd never been out of Singapore n staying in Australia for 6-9 months at a time when i was like 3cm from some ang mo guys n their chinese galfrens...n they were talkin bout experiences overseas n the places they've been to including Sydney....n deep down i was smilin very slyli....u're talkin bout Sydney? yes, wat do u noe bout it? the charming chaos of Chinatown? the beauty of Harbour Bridge esp at night? the crazy drunkness of Australian pub culture that realli is taken to extremes? Mrs Macquaries Chair..with the superb Harbour Views? Townhall n Worldsquare? Maybe Epping, Chatswood and Strathfield with all their amazing Korean subcultures? Do u even noe that the red pulsating heart of Australia is almost-socialist Labour that would not have Sydney built the way it was (think Newcastle) if they could?

when i'm back home...i kinda miss the place...both Sydney and Newcastle..when i'm there...i miss Singapore n family...such a strange situation huh?